COME ON 小组-----kathyfei2007的9月8日作业

kathyfei2007UID: 2436983

题目Does study of animals help us to learn human nature？
Nowadays, more and more tests on the animals in order to learn human nature. Many scientists think it is a useful way to learn human nature by studying animals. However, I can't totally agree with it. On my point of view, just studying on animals cannot be helpful all the time.

To start with, many of the characteristics of human nature are different from that of the animals. We cannot always compare the nature of animals to humans. Sometimes, we cannot find out the solutions to the problems of human beings by studying of animals. For example, the psychology of humans is very different from that of animals, for, humans have to deal with much more complicated things and have to suffer much more pressure than animals. And animals  are not able to have  the feelings as same as humans. If we study of the psychology of animal, we cannot get the way to solve the psychological  problems of humans.

Furthermore, the society of human beings is very different from that of the animals. We live in a society that  people have very different characteristics of feeling, mood, and the way of thinking. But in the world of animals, especially some simple animal like fish, ants and so on, they cannot think and the characteristics of feeling and mood are often very similar in the group of the same kind. So the relationships of the animals are much simpler than human. On the contrary, humans are harder to deal with the relationships with each other. We cannot learn such relationship of humans from the study of animals, as the relationship of different countries, the relationship of different religious, even the relationship between the poor and rich.

In conclusion, for we cannot learn the relationship of human and the some problems of human from the study of animal, we cannot say that the study of animal is helpful to learn human nature at any point of time.







[ 本帖最后由 kathyfei2007 于 2008-9-9 13:30 编辑 ]

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

谢谢你给我的修改。应你的要求，我也来学习一下你的作文。感觉总体还行，结构已经出来了，观点也不错，不过似乎论证得还不是很深入，而且词语的运用也比较简单了。加油加油！

Nowadays, more and more tests on the animals in order to learn human nature.（这第一句话就没主语啊） Many scientists think it is a useful way to learn human nature by studying animals. However, I can't totally agree with it. On my point of view, just studying on animals cannot be helpful all the time.

To start with, many of the characteristics of human nature are different from that of the animals. We cannot always compare the nature of animals to humans. Sometimes, we cannot find out the solutions to the problems of human beings by studying of animals. For example, the psychology of humans is very different from that of animals, for, （这个逗号是多余的吧，或者你换一种表示原因的说法，比如since, in that, because of等）humans have to deal with much more complicated things and have to suffer much more pressure than animals. And animals are not able to have the feelings as same as humans. If we study of the psychology of animal, we cannot get the way to solve the psychological problems of humans.

Furthermore, the society of human beings is very different from that of the animals. We live in a society that people have very different characteristics of feeling, mood, and the way of thinking. But in the world of animals, especially some simple animal like fish, ants and so on, they cannot think and the characteristics of feeling and mood（词语的运用显得还是简单了一些，最好能多一些变化，这个要在实战中多练习，也可以多背背常用同义词，不能全篇就那几个词语。） are often very similar in the group of the same kind. So the relationships of the animals are much simpler than human. On the contrary, humans are harder to deal with the relationships with each other. We cannot learn such relationship of humans from the study of animals, as the relationship of different countries, the relationship of different religious, even the relationship between the poor and rich.（这一句同样存在词语单一的问题，relationship就使用了四次，你可以试着读一遍，会让人比较郁闷的。建议采取代词、同义词、句式变化等方法改进。比如我试着修改一下：From the study of animals, it is hard to learn the relationships among people who are from  different nations, religious, or social status. 另外，cannot不要连写，像托福考试这样的正式文章都不要出现简写，要拆开写）

In conclusion, for we cannot learn the relationship of human and the some problems of human from the study of animal, we cannot say that the study of animal is helpful to learn human nature at any point of time.

[ 本帖最后由 yuanhu124 于 2008-9-9 23:17 编辑 ]

daxnanUID: 2456429

。。。。cannot本来就是连写的，OG上都是这样

kathyfei2007UID: 2436983

谢谢你的修改,由于练习不足,词汇的运用缺乏变化,谢谢你的建议,我会继续努力的!
第一句本来是想写Nowadays, more and more tests are taking on animals in order to learn human  nature. 结果一马虎写错了。汗颜啊:(