COMEON小组--claierh0323的9月11号作业

claierh0323UID: 2375722

Many people believe that it is a better way to get advice from old people, for their abundant life experience and knowledge will benefited us a lot. However, that may not be a good idea. To me I prefer have my friends at my age give me advice because they will keep up with the most fresh information in the society, communicate well with me and consider the situation from my point of view.

For one thing, older friends tend to give the older ideas which may be obsolete. For example, once I ask my elder brother who worked as an engineer about my choosing of major. I wondered which engineering subject would be more perspective. He told me to study mechanical engineering that was once his major because his work gained great reputation and high payment. Then I turned to my best friends for advice. She thought computer engineering is more promising and she listed and analyze the main advantages and drawbacks to me thoroughly. I found her advice more reasonable and persuasive. Friends at my age are keeping up with the newest information. They know what fit us well while the old stay still and have no idea of what happened in the modern life. So, getting advice from the older may not be valuable.

In addition, the communication with the old may be another rub. As we all know, the generation gap prevent us to approach the old. They may not understand our problems, not even giving advice.(请问我这里有语法错误吗？怎么改比较好) The older friends are more likely to address the platitude that is useless and probably laugh at our ignorance. Nevertheless, the friends at my age will understand me well. They will feel the same way as we do and put up some utilized advice. I think that is more helpful for us to deal with the problems. So, getting advice from the older may not be worthy.

Moreover, the older friends consider their advice superior and thus I will have less opportunity to think the problem over on my own. The older friends gain great reputation and confident about what they have proposed. If I did not want to adapt their suggestion, it would seem to be a kind of offence to them. That was something like I should obey my parents’ instruction when I was a little girl, if not I would have act like a rebellious child. However, the circumstance will be different if I ask a same-age friend. We treat(这个词好像用的不好，请赐教) each other equally and thus that kind of situation I am worried about will not take place. So getting advice from the older may be risky.

In conclusion, asking older friends advice is not a good idea despite their experience and knowledge. I prefer having the friends at my age provide me some suggestion. From the illustration above, we can see clearly the disadvantages.

kturyUID: 2274868

Many people believe that it is a better way to get advice from old people, for their abundant life experience and knowledge will benefited[enlighted] us a lot. However, that [指代不清 that opinion]may not be a good idea. To me, I prefer have my friends at my age give [giving]me advice[to me] because they will keep up with the most fresh information in the society, communicate well with me and consider the situation from my point of view.

For one thing, older friends tend to give the older ideas which may be obsolete. For example, once I ask my elder brother who worked as an engineer about my[DEL] choosing of major. I wondered which engineering subject would be more perspective. He told me to study mechanical engineering that was once his major because his work gained great reputation and high payment. Then I turned to my best friends for advice. She thought computer engineering is more promising and she listed and analyze the main advantages and drawbacks to me thoroughly. I found her advice more reasonable and persuasive. Friends at my age are keeping up with the newest information. They know what fit us well while the old stay still and have no idea of what happened in the modern life. So, getting advice from the older may not be valuable.
[主题句说老朋友的建议老 但是在文中你只是单纯地说 你认为老 没有其他的证明,所以显得片面论证不充分]

In addition, the communication with the old may be another rub. As we all know, the generation gap prevent[prevents] us[me] to approach the old. They may not understand our problems, not even giving advice.(请问我这里有语法错误吗？怎么改比较好)[they perhaps do not understand our problems ranther than give advices] The older friends are more likely to address the platitude that is useless and probably laugh at our ignorance. Nevertheless, the friends at my age will understand me well. They will feel the same way as we do and put up some utilized advice. I think that is more helpful for us to deal with the problems. So, getting advice from the older may not be worthy.

Moreover, the older friends consider their advice superior and thus I will have less[little] opportunity to think the problem over[again] on my own. The older friends gain great reputation and confident about what they have proposed. If I did not want to adapt their suggestion, it would seem to be a kind of offence to[offend] them. That was something like I should obey my parents’ instruction when I was a little girl, if not I would have act like[ would be blamed as] a rebellious child. However, the circumstance will be different if I ask a same-age friend. We treat(这个词好像用的不好，请赐教) each other equally and thus that kind of situation I am worried about will not take place. So getting advice from the older may be risky[呵呵 这个older:funk: ].[useless]

In conclusion, asking older friends advice is not a good idea despite their experience and knowledge. I prefer having the friends at my age provide me some suggestion. From the illustration above, we can see clearly the disadvantages.

题目是哪个更有价值,我认为题目的意思是无论年老,同龄的建议都会是有价值的,但是那个更好呢?
所以最好也讨论一下older friends' advices的好处  然后简单的一个比较 再得出你的结论.
括号里面的是替换前面标红的内容,DEL是删除,可能有些词是对的,但是也标红了,是因为我认为替换的可能会更好
文章审题出现问题,结构很好, 但是在语言的运用上会出现语法错误, 用词不当.
建议: 如果时间不紧的话 可以看看范文 看看句子结构
加油! 水平有限 仅供参考-ktury
有时间也帮我看看吧 呵呵