作文讨论 呼唤 ourtrans！及COMEON作文小组成员 9.12作业 Vanessa20

vanessa20UID: 2479494

Agree or disagree: High schools,colleges and universities should spend less time teaching about general subjects and spend more time teaching about preparing for future career and jobs.(2007.8.25)

When it comes to the discussion on which should be the focus of education: general subject or future career and jobs, I firmly uphold that school and universities should spend more time on general subjects rather than prepartion for works.There are three premier reasons as follows.
First of all, teaching about future career is too early for high school students. Since higher education is more and more common in information booming society, the majority of high school students will pursue further study in colleges and universities. As it is shown recently in a survey that more than 80 percent of high school student in my city prefer going to college than starting a job. Thus, the teaching is not only too soon but also a wast of time. Students at the age of 17 or 18, i am sure, will be more enthusiastic over science or literature rather than the competitive job hunting.
What is more, as far as i am concerned, the best way to prepare for future career is to learn as more as possible about that subject. I am a good example in point. My dream career is to become an archeologist and I am chasing my dream by studying hard. I chose archeology as my major and Asian history as minor in order have a comprehensive study about this subject. At the same time, because no subject can develop if it is seperated or isolated, calculation in maths,mechanics in physics are also related to archeology. Therefore, general subjects study meet the need of becoming an all-round person.
Finally,study about general subjects benefit us in the long term. Most students are eager to obtain knowledge, yet they are learning simply for getting a decent job or earn a great fortune in the future. Such a deficiency in the concept of study would inevitably mislead them. It is commonly believed that a notable diploma guarantees a large income, however, the essence of learning is civilizing human being both physically and mentally.
All in all, teaching about genearl subjects should play a significant role in education. And if it is properly valued, man will acquire more from it than money and skills for occupation.

[ 本帖最后由 vanessa20 于 2008-9-14 22:25 编辑 ]

ansoncodeUID: 2528782

When it comes to the discussion on which should be the focus of education: general subject or future career and jobs, I firmly uphold that school and universities should spend more time on general subjects rather than prepartion for works.There are three premier reasons as follows.

First of all, teaching about future career is too early for high school students. Since higher education is more and more common in information booming society, the majority of high school students will pursue further study in colleges and universities. As it is shown recently in a survey that more than 80 percent of high school student in my city prefer going to college than starting a job. Thus, the teaching is not only too soon but also a wast of time. Students at the age of 17 or 18, i am sure, will be more enthusiastic over science or literature rather than the competitive job hunting.（观点有些片面，你只否定了高中不应该搞职业教育，而题目里既有高中又有大学，你的观点暗示，高中应该普及教育，职业教育是大学的事，但你需要论证观点的是你开头提出的高中大学都要重视基础教育，这里还有一点差距）

What is more, as far as i am concerned(没见过这么用的，建议check一下), the best way to prepare for future career is to learn as more as possible about that subject. I am a good example in point. My dream career is to become an archeologist and I am chasing my dream by studying hard. I chose archeology as my major and Asian history as minor in order have a comprehensive study about this subject. At the same time, because no subject can develop if it is seperated or isolated, calculation in maths,mechanics in physics are also related to archeology. Therefore, general subjects study meet the need of becoming an all-round person.（例子不错，逻辑不够完整，开头说为将来的职业需要学习尽可能多知识，最后说基础学科学习能使人更全面，中间缺了一步，说将来的职业需要全面的人才，这不是不言自明的，我还可以会说职业需要专才）

Finally,study about general subjects benefit us in the long term. Most students are eager to obtain knowledge, yet they are learning simply for getting a decent job or earn a great fortune in the future. (为什么?看到这里就想问,我还可以说客观事实是现在大家都很浮躁不求甚解，你要自圆其说，可以从human nature说起，对未知世界的好奇是人类的一种本性)Such a deficiency in the concept of study would inevitably mislead them. It is commonly believed that a notable diploma guarantees a large income, however, the essence of learning is civilizing human being both physically and mentally. （观点很好，但描述比较混乱，且缺乏details）

All in all, teaching about genearl subjects should play a significant role in education. And if it is properly valued, man will acquire more from it than money and skills for occupation.

楼主语言较好 结构也很完整 Transition也很到位 但中间段论证展开尚待加强 我知道托福不像GRE那样强调逻辑 但混乱的话会让考官觉得confused or not well developed 个人意见 仅供参考

vanessa20UID: 2479494

太好了！又见ansoncode  的点评！
我真的慢慢在学习critical thinking耶...（同时也是我感觉最最缺的东西）
你的点评很精准呢！ 逻辑逻辑逻辑！
有个问题我在两篇文章都出现了，关于例子的列举ansoncode是不是认为每段都应该涉及到具体的例子呢？（我一直都没有这个写作思路...以为举一两个就够了，长此以往，语言越来越浓缩空洞...现在想例子都像挤牙膏似的..:o ）
关于例子的列举方法，你有什么建议呢？:handshake :loveliness:

ourtransUID: 2241441

When it comes to the discussion on which should be the focus of education: general subjects or specific subjects for(并列的两部分最好是对等) future career and jobs, I firmly uphold that school and universities should spend more time on general subjects rather than on(加出介词避免歧义) prepartion for works. There are three premier reasons as follows.:
First of all, teaching about future career is too early for high school students. Since higher education is more and more common in information booming society, the majority of high school students will pursue further studyies in colleges and universities. As it is shown recently in a survey that more than 80 percent of high school student in my city prefer going to college than starting a job. Thus, the specific teaching for high school students (应该加上限定) is not only too soon but also a wast of time. Students at the age of 17 or 18, i am sure, will be more enthusiastic over science or literature rather than the competitive job hunting. （这一段的好坏取决于实际题目的要求，仅从对high school students的论证方面还是很好的。）
What is more, as far as i am concerned, the best way to prepare for future career is to learn as more as possible about that the relevant subjects. I am a good example in this point. My dream career is to become an archeologist and I am chasing my dream by studying hard. I chose archeology as my major and Asian history as minor in order have a comprehensive study about this subject. At the same time, because no subject can develop if it is seperated or isolated, calculation in maths, and mechanics in physics are also related to archeology. Therefore, general subjects study meet the need of becoming an all-round person.
Finally,study about on general subjects would（或者第三人称单数） benefit us in the long term. Most students are eager to obtain knowledge, yet they are learning simply for getting a decent job or earn a great fortune in the future. Such a deficiency in the concept of study would inevitably mislead them. It is commonly believed that a notable diploma guarantees a large income, however, the essence of learning is civilizing human being both physically and mentally. （感觉这个例子不太好，有一点牵强，不过如果是考场上交出这样的也很好了，没把握的部分放在靠后位置是一个很好的策略。）
All in all, teaching about (题目的英文表达是错误的) genearl subjects should play a significant role in education. And if it is properly valued, man will acquire more from it than money and skills for occupation.

as far as i am concerned是常用的。
总体来说，写得不错，用词也很准确到位，我仅能改到一些minor的错误，学到了不少。

vanessa20UID: 2479494

谢谢ourtrans的意见，你的修改很认真，给我的提点不少:loveliness:
对于study 和 teach 这两个词的用法，我存在疑惑，
STUDY:
verb (used without object)
16. to apply oneself to the acquisition of knowledge, as by reading, investigation, or practice.  
17. to apply oneself; endeavor.  
18. to think deeply, reflect, or consider.  
19. to take a course of study, as at a college.  
–verb (used with object)
20. to apply oneself to acquiring a knowledge of (a subject).  
21. to examine or investigate carefully and in detail: to study the political situation.  
22. to observe attentively; scrutinize: to study a person's face.  
23. to read carefully or intently: to study a book.  
24. to endeavor to learn or memorize, as a part in a play.  
25. to consider, as something to be achieved or devised.  
26. to think out, as the result of careful consideration or devising.
详情请见：http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/study

我参考过其他字典，例如oxford， study的用法和上面差不多，但是它的近义词 learn是要加about 的
teach 的用法也和study相近
teach      /titʃ/ [url=]Pronunciation Key[/url] - [url=]Show Spelled Pronunciation[/url][teech] [url=]Pronunciation Key[/url] - [url=]Show IPA Pronunciation[/url] verb, taught, teach·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)

1.	to impart knowledge of or skill in; give instruction in: She teaches mathematics.

2.	to impart knowledge or skill to; give instruction to: He teaches a large class.

–verb (used without object)

3.	to impart knowledge or skill; give instruction.

–noun

4.	Informal. teacher.

详见：
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/teach

和你讨论真的学到东西！很希望能继续下去:handshake ;d:

ourtransUID: 2241441

study 和learn的区别在于：study有研究的含义在里面，有时候可以混用，有时候不可以。两者都是及物动词，至于后面所加的介词，取决于后面跟的对象。
比如：learn knowledge和learn knowledge about sociology，以及learn about sociology.后两者的意思是一样的。你能体会到他们的区别吗？
learn后面也不是只能跟about，也可以跟from, of, in...都是依据这些介词的本义进行使用的。

另外还有一些中国人容易混的词比如：
listen听 hear听到：listen to me听我说 did you hear me听到我说的吗？
look for寻找 find找到：to look for an apartment去找一个apartment; to find an apartment去找到一个apartment。

vanessa20UID: 2479494

谢谢ourtans对 study, learn, listen hear ,look for 和find 的解释:handshake
那对于study 和teach，和后面是否需要跟介词，你的看法是？
对于文章的第三段“Finally,study about……physically and mentally.”其实我想阐述的是 general subjects 对于人的长远发展 的作用比 职前教育的学习更大，而人们往往因为眼前小利而倾向后者，大概是这个意思，两位同学都提出相近的意见，我想知道问题是出在哪里了呢？;d: