COMEON作文小组9月20日作业－yangkeli22

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

In today's world, to speak well is more important than to write well. Agree or disagree. (2007.1.16)

There is no consensus as to whether speak well is more important than to write well or not. Some people hold the belief that speak well weighs more than write will, while, others have the opposite opinion. As for me, the former statement is my choice.

First, people who speak well play more important role in the police which reflect exactly in America. Each time, outside the Congress, there are many lobby use their eloquent expression talk with the senators, in order to convince them take their advices to let the issue be mentioned in Congress, and if possible, become law finally. While the one who write well may not get chance to let the senators follow with them, even if they handle their passages to the senators they probably may not have time read about those, not to speak of being talked in.

Second, excellent speaker own more chances to find a job. The world, in particular  the business world, put more emphasis on communicate, therefore, it is critical for people to exchange informations with others in quest to explore the market in different places, to find a potential business chance in various distracts, or to convince customs buy their products. And in this circumstance, the good speakers are quite welcomed in this world, for they can bring more profits for the company they served. While the excellent writer just lack of this advantages for they seldom deal with people outside.

Though we can't conceal the fact that people who write well is also important in the world. For example, using the masterpieces to encourage people, draft important files or even laws. It is also very crucial to human beings.

Take into accounts of all those potent factors, I can safely draw a conclusion that speak well weigh much more than write well, it is what nowadays world need.

根据建议，先把段间空出来！

[ 本帖最后由 yangkeli22 于 2008-9-20 23:27 编辑 ]

hyacinthUID: 2184492

段与段中间最好能空一行

第一个例子我没看懂 :(  而且我觉得有点牵强  或许你可以加个具体的lobby的例子在里面?

文章还是略显单薄   没有例证的文章读起来总是很难convince读者你的观点的 ;)

加油~~:)

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

哦，段与段的间隔给忘了，汗！

谢谢版主，主要也是老想不出好的例证来，比较晕！
具体例证我再想想，非常感谢！！！:)

hyacinthUID: 2184492

呵呵

另外我建议你最后一周内找一些老T的语法资料 题目或者讲义什么的看一下 最好能做一部分  你的语法需要进一步提高   这些版上应该都有的 可以搜一下 ;)

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

谢谢版主提醒，语法是好久好久没碰过了，汗……

weenbopperUID: 2423595

In today's world, to speak well is more important than to write well. Agree or disagree. (2007.1.16)7u~@|5o-f&{R
留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAuV5S.\|#E        M,NR
There is no consensus as to whether speak well is more important than to write well or not. Some people hold the belief that speaking well weighs more than writing well, while, others have the opposite opinion. As for me, the former statement is my choice.寄托家园8t8Z \L,U
H8S        n
|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE[x*r
R'E:B8WNDk.h
First, people who speak well play more important role in the(感觉应该去掉the) police (politics)which reflect exactly in America. Each time, outside the Congress, there are many lobby (lobby也说话的？)use their eloquent expression talk with the senators, in order to convince them take their advices to let the issue be mentioned in Congress, and if possible, become law finally. While the one who write well may not get chance to let the senators follow with them, even if they handle their passages to the senators they probably may not have time read about those, not to speak of being talked in.感觉第一段例子没怎么说的明白，有点小纠结|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE&\?_i2C:q
@R'UO6b

Second, excellent speaker own more chances to find a job. The world, in particular  the business world, put more emphasis on communicate（楼主ＭＳ经常不记得加ing）, therefore, it is critical for people to exchange informations with others in questing to explore the market in different places, to find a potential business chance in various distracts(?是不是拼错了单词), or to convince customers buy their products. And in this circumstance, the good speakers are quite welcomed in this world, for they can bring more profits for the company they served. While the excellent writer just lack of this advantages for they seldom deal with people outside.

Though we can't conceal the fact that people who write well is also important in the world. For example, using the masterpieces to encourage people, draft important files or even laws. It is also very crucial to human beings.lgb;Vy{}6j

Take into accounts of all those potent factors, I can safely draw a conclusion that speak well weigh much more than write well, it is what nowadays world need.
感觉楼主的文章语法是个问题，第三、四段有些简单了，特别是例子，这样字数可能不够。
然后我觉得楼主的point有点太小了，只局限在了一个方面，不足以令人信服，仅仅是个人看法啊，呵呵……
最后一起加油……

感觉　　　　　感觉













[ 本帖最后由 weenbopper 于 2008-9-21 10:11 编辑 ]

sosjuneUID: 2438922

这个~  大家貌似已经帮忙该过了~  上面几楼的都说的不错~
          另外,我想补充一下的就是你的行文方式给人感觉很飘忽~  建议尽早自己确定一下自己的写作模式,
这对于你写作的提高是很有帮助的~  
      如果可以的话可以把你的文章发到我的邮箱来吧~  我有时间的话就帮你改改吧~

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

谢谢你的修改，语法方面我会多加注意。
有时遇到不好说的，思路太局限，老打不开，感觉挺郁闷的，还要多加训练！
谢谢，加油加油！！！