COMEON作文小组——梦想在望2008 10月7日作业

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

Movies and televisions have more positive or negative effects on young people’s behaviors. (2007.4.21,技术进步类)

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In present society, movies and televisions have been an indispensable part of being informed information and having relaxation for modern people. Especially for young people, they seemly watch movies and televisions almost in their daily lives. However, how do movies and televisions have effects on young people’s behaviors? Different people have different thoughts. Quite a few would claim that movies and televisions have more positive effects on young people’s behaviors, but others, in contrast, believe that they have more negative influences on youngsters’ behaviors and that is also my point. There are numerous reasons why I hold that view, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.

The first reason why I agree with the above statements is that young people have being lacking of communication with others due to the addiction to movies and televisions. They are indulging themselves into various soap dramas keeping playing in televisions, then gradually isolated with family and friends. It is too harmful for their psychological health.

The second reason can be seen by every person that, young people are very likely to absorb unhealthy contents showed by the medium such as movies and televisions. Pornography, violence, cruelty and cold-bloodedness have been major threats to young people’s behaviors. Then, why could those unhealthy things trigger bad effects on youngsters? It is because of the immature in mental that young person cannot identify goodness and badness. Therefore, they are usually inclined to intimate behaviors done in movies and televisions, no matter they are good or not to themselves and others. For instance, there was a popular soap drama welcomed by numerous young people fans. In one of scenes, an actress was pretend to suicide for frighten others but it turns out that she was still alive. It is very sympathy that a little girl intimated that dangerous behaviors and lost her fragile life. Furthermore, due to negative effects of movies and televisions on young people, there is an increasing tendency of juvenile crime in recent years. Hence, harmful contents in movies and televisions do induce a great amount of problems for the healthy development of young people.

Admittedly, movies and televisions also bring about some advantages for young person. For example, they can learn something and broad their horizons. Nevertheless, taking into account of those factors mentioned above, we may reach the conclusion that movies and televisions have more negative effects on young people’s behavior.
      

wing112UID: 2401121

水平有限，指出几点建议，请参考
1.They are indulging themselves into various soap dramas keeping playing in televisions
我认为应该是They are indulged themselves... keeping playing with televisions
2.young people are very likely to absorbed unhealthy contents
3.no matter if they are good or not to themselves and others
4.but it turned out that she was still alive
我只能看出出这些问题，总体感觉还不错，就是应该多注意时态的变化，容易出现一些小错误。

wing112UID: 2401121

贴出我的，尽情指正！
Movies and televisions have had a great influence on our life,especially on young people's behaviors. There are a various of informations involved in the movies and televisions,including crime,violence,sex and so on,it is definitely  having negative effect to young people. In this essay,i will demonstrate several reasons to explain it.

The main reason for my propensity for the movies and televisions have negative effects on young's behaviors is that they might easily obsess in the scenes of the television. It could make them spend too much time to focus on studying . After all, the young people have not developed prefect consciousness of self-control,it's hard for them to realize what they should do but to watch movies or televisions so much. Then they would imitate something which they had seen from movies or televisions,such as fighting,smoking,drinking,even killing.how terrible it would become Imagining a 15 years old child who smokes and drinks badly,what a weak health condition he gets and how he could make a success in future life.

In addition,it is obvious that spending lots of time on movies and televisions ,would influent the relationship between parents and children. It causes a serious of family problems like lacking communication with parents,showing more love and care to them.when they have a dinner getting together, they could not enjoy the best time in the whole day since the children are absorbed in the plot of TV .nothing can be compared with the important communication between family's members. So wake up , get closely with your parents and talk to them frequently,you would understand the essence of love.

Certainly, there is no denying that movies and television bring great changes to our society,they entertain ourselves and enhance the quality of our life. In a word, the key point is that young people should realize how can make use of them instead of indulge in them.

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

一家之言，仅供参考 改的不好 请多多关照！
Movies and televisions have had(一个have就可以) a great influence on our life（lives）,especially on young people's behaviors. There are a various of informations involved in the movies and televisions,including crime,violence,sex and so on,it is(They) definitely  having(have) negative effect(s) to(on) young people. In this essay,i will demonstrate several reasons to explain it(my point).

The main reason for my propensity for(that接后面的同位语) the movies and televisions have(a) negative effects on (the)young's behaviors is that they might easily obsess in the scenes of the television. It could make them spend too much time to(on movies and televisions rather than ) focus on studying . After all, the young people have not developed prefect consciousness of self-control,it's hard for them to realize what they should do but to watch movies or televisions so much. Then they would imitate something which they had seen from movies or televisions,such as fighting,smoking,drinking,even killing.how terrible it would become. Imagining(Let's imagine that) a 15 years old child who smokes and drinks badly,what a weak health condition he gets and how he could make a success in future life.


In addition,it is obvious that spending lots of time on movies and televisions ,would influent(建议从句这个谓语更换一下) the relationship between parents and children. It causes a serious（series） of family problems like lacking communication with parents,showing more love and care to them（溺爱孩子spoiling children）.when they have a dinner getting together, they could not enjoy the best time in the whole day since the children are absorbed in the plot of TV （不要缩写）.nothing can be compared with the important communication between family's members. （句型不错）So wake up , get closely with your parents and talk to them frequently,you would understand the essence of love.（这句话有些太口语化不太合适）


Certainly, there is no denying（the fact） that movies and television bring(建议换个词result in induce trigger witness等等) great changes to our society,they entertain ourselves and enhance(improve our lives.) the quality of our life. In a word, the key point is that young people should realize how can make use of them instead of indulge in them.(建议换个其他方式重申你的论点)