COMEON作文小组--------------- weenbopper 10.11作业

weenbopperUID: 2423595

The impact of new technology has had on our life increased beyond our imagination, numerous examples can be found in our daily life. Computer science, information technology, transportation system changed our life so rapidly and drastically that hardly can any ancestors imagine the quality of our life. Along this phenomenon arises a hot debate over whether fossil fuel will be replaced by some new energy soon just as those new technologies did in the last 50 years? As far as I am concerned, this replacement process would be a long journey since the following reasons.

First and foremost, financial problem would be inevitable. Undoubtedly, during this process, countless money would be spent on the construction of the infrastructure, researching fee and advertising the new energies. In the last few decades, since the obvious advantages of the new energy resources, such as they are free to environmental pollution, renewable ,unlimited and even economy, some companies, nations and the World bank have donated a lot of money to these projects, however, compared to the practical need, it was just the tip of an iceberg. Moreover, the long developing cycle of the new technology make this problem from bad to worse. Usually, for a new technology, we have to through 4 stages from laboratory stage to the real technology in the factory.

Subsequently, acceptance of the mass would be another reason for my choice. Without comprehensive and incisive education, the new technologies can not be easily accepted by the majority. While hardly have some nations put even a few efforts on promoting these new energy. Plus, since the transportation, development and trade of the fossil fuel are controlled by some powerful companies at the expense of numerous money and time, they would try their best to stop the fossil fuel from disappearing from the historical stage.

Admittedly, boasting their innate merits, combined with the natural rule that the outdated ones would always be replaced by some newly promising ones, it is only the matter of time that those energies are accepted by the mass. However, to say all of this would happen immediately is definitely haste since the numerous obstacles and efforts should be paid on this road.

In a nutshell, from the point that I stated above we can safely come to the conclusion that this replacement, since its great expense and the fight between the old and the new, have to go through a rigorous and long period.

[ 本帖最后由 weenbopper 于 2008-10-11 21:35 编辑 ]

aaimmortalUID: 2297730

lz的作文不错啊，看来是经过g的熏陶的。

糖不甜UID: 2345216

我刚开始复习作文，试着改一下吧~

The impact of new technology has had on our life increased beyond our imagination, numerous examples can be found in our daily life. 第一句感觉加个时间状语来限制一下impact的increase发生的时间更好一些，另外我觉得第一个句子应该加个句号变两个句子吧 Computer science, information technology, transportation system changed our life so rapidly and drastically that hardly can any ancestors imagine the quality of our life. Along 这里应该加上with this phenomenon arises a hot debate over whether fossil fuel will be replaced by some new energy soon just as those new technologies did in the last 50 years? 这应该是句号 As far as I am concerned, this replacement process would be a long journey since the following reasons.

First and foremost, financial problem would be inevitable. Undoubtedly, during this process, countless money would be spent on the construction of the infrastructure, researching fee and advertising the new energies. 建议改一下顺序，变为on the initial researches, the construction of the infrastructure and advertising the new energies In the last few decades, since the obvious advantages of the new energy resources, such as they are free to environmental pollution, renewable, unlimited and even economy改为economical, some companies, nations and the World bank have donated a lot of money to these projects, however, compared to the practical need, it was just the tip of an iceberg.这个句子虽然没有错误，但我个人认为有点儿过长了…tip of an iceberg这个比喻用的很棒 Moreover, the long developing cycle of the new technology make makes this problem from bad to worse. Usually, for a new technology, we have to这里是不是漏了一个go through 4 stages from laboratory stage 改为experiments in the laboratory感觉与后面对应更好一些 to the real technology in the factory.

Subsequently, acceptance of the mass would be another reason for my choice. Without comprehensive and incisive这个词的意思是penetrating, clear, and sharp, as in operation or expression修饰education不太合适，你是要表达的意思是？ education, the new technologies can not be easily accepted by the majority. While hardly have some nations put even a few efforts on promoting these new energy.这一句写的有点儿武断 Plus, since the transportation, development and trade of the fossil fuel are controlled by some powerful companies at the expense of numerous money and time, they would try their best to stop the fossil fuel from disappearing from the historical stage.好句子！

Admittedly, boasting their innate merits, combined with the natural rule that the outdated ones would always be replaced by some newly promising ones, it is only the matter of time that those energies are accepted by the mass. However, to say all of this would happen immediately is definitely haste hasty since the numerous obstacles and efforts should be paid on this road.

In a nutshell, from the point that I stated above we can safely come to the conclusion that this replacement, since its great expense and the fight between the old and the new, have to go through a rigorous and long period.

前面写的不错，但看到第4段给我的感觉就是结尾了，后面又出来一个第5段。认为这两段其实可以结合在一起，先一个小让步：新能源早晚要代替新能源，然后再写但是还需要很久，就ok了。

楼主的文字功底很不多，句型用词都比较高级，这点儿我得好好学习一下，但是我认为，应适当调整一下简单句与复杂句的比例，如果通篇下来一个接一个复杂的句型或者长句，会看起来比较累。

PS：希望楼主有空也能帮我改一下作文，指导一下我的用词和句型，谢谢！http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-883988-1-1.html

[ 本帖最后由 糖不甜 于 2008-10-12 02:50 编辑 ]

gjunUID: 2537391

很牛，学习！