COMEON作文小组 10月15日作业 by rolling713

rolling713UID: 2550988

以前没做过这个类型的，比较生涩，多多批评吧！！:handshake

32) A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Recently there comes such delightful news that Microsoft Corporation is willing to invest on a program of either supporting arts development and protecting environment. It is obviously that our earth is severely polluted; and compensations for environment should be made indispensably by our human beings, especially those companies who earn large profits. So I would strongly suggest that Microsoft should spend the money on environmental protection for it would benefit all people in the world.

To begin with, environmental protection would enhance health of people. According to one survey made in 2005, over forty percent of illness was responsible to environment pollutant. And the number of people affected by pollution keeps rising these years. The situation of our health condition calls for overall and detailed amendment of environment. Thus, a program for environment protection is strongly needed which could reduce the rate of infection. Our living condition would also be improved from this program.

Also, improving the quality of our environment would also accelerate the development of tourism. If we plant more trees in mountain areas, there would become far more beautiful than the situations now after 10 years. Beautiful scenery could bring happiness and comfort to people, which would be a powerful attraction to more and more visitors. Also, animals that live in protected areas are more likely to reproduce more and enjoy a happy life. And their delightfulness would also invite more people to appreciate these areas. Our economy would also enjoy interest from this program by the progress of tourism.

Admittedly, investing on programs of supporting arts development would also bring merits including stimulating cultural communication and offering more stuffs for entertainment. But comparing to environmental protection, the significance of arts may diminish at the stage that our earth needs more love from people. Moreover, natural is a form of art, so why don't we just make our earth more pretty like that we make our painting more colorful?

In a word, there is no doubt that investing on environmental protection can be profitable and meaningful to all parties including government, normal citizens and Microsoft itself. We hope that Microsoft would take this smart choice and paint our nature more attractive to people all over the world.

ly8768UID: 2452066

Recently there comes such delightful news that Microsoft Corporation is willing to invest on a program of either supporting arts development and protecting environment. It is obviously that our earth is severely polluted; and compensations for environment should be made indispensably by our human beings, especially those companies who earn large profits. So I would strongly suggest that Microsoft should spend the(the 去掉是不是好点) money on environmental protection for it would benefit all people in the world.

To begin with, environmental protection would enhance health of people. According to one survey made in 2005, over forty percent of illness was responsible to(应该是be responsible for吧，不过即使这样意思也不对啊，be responsible for 是为***负责的意思，lz是想说forty percent of illness应该为环境污染负责吗？) environment pollutant. And the number of people affected by pollution keeps rising these years. The situation of our health condition(又是situation 又是 condition 重复了，建议就要our health condition 就可以了) calls for overall and detailed amendment of environment. Thus, a program for environment protection is strongly needed which could reduce the rate of infection. Our living condition would also be improved from this program.

Also, improving the quality of our environment would also accelerate the development of tourism. If we plant more trees in mountain areas, there would become far more beautiful than (than两边要一致，这句话后者用的是situation, 前者用的是there be 句型，改成than it is是不是会好点。还有situation主要是说形势、位置的，我觉得scene会好点) the situations now after 10 years. Beautiful scenery could bring happiness and comfort to people, which would be a powerful attraction to more and more visitors. Also, animals that live in protected areas are more likely to reproduce more(more在一个句子里用的太多了，这个就不用了吧) and enjoy a happy life. And their delightfulness would also invite more people to appreciate these areas. (加个连接的吧, As a result)Our economy would also enjoy interest from this program by the progress of tourism.

Admittedly, investing on programs of supporting arts development would also bring merits including stimulating cultural communication and offering more stuffs for entertainment. But comparing to(compared with 应该好点，compare to 是把***比作***的意思) environmental protection, the significance of arts may diminish at the stage that our earth needs more love from people. Moreover, natural is a form of art, so why don't we just make our earth more pretty like that we make our painting more colorful?
(我觉得楼主观点有些牵强，楼主说”the significance of arts may diminish” 可是给的原因却是”at the stage that our earth needs more love from people”，没有和environment 做比较，两者似乎没什么联系。这句话给人感觉有些莫名其妙的)

In a word, there is no doubt that investing on environmental protection can be profitable(好像在上文中没有提到profit) and meaningful to all parties including government, normal citizens and Microsoft itself. We hope that Microsoft would take this smart choice and paint our nature more attractive to people all over the world.

在下水平有限，若有不妥望楼主指正～
楼主水平不错，相信你两天会取得好成绩的～

[ 本帖最后由 ly8768 于 2008-10-16 11:33 编辑 ]