COMEON作文小组------jackallen0714 10月16日作业

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

10月16日
48) People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

人们工作的目的是人们需要金钱而生存。 人们工作的其他诸原因是什么？(185,原因题目)
10月17日休息+总结

Living in this complex world is not easy for each and every individual. We need money because it is essential for one to survive in the world. However, people do not merely work for money because we need far more than to survive. It may be rather superficial to directly link work with money.

Some people work because they have great curiosity in their job. Mathematic is a course require logical thinking and numerous calculating which are seemingly boring and tedious for general people. And many people feel reluctant to learn this course because it does not seems to relate to our daily life. However, there are a group of people who are interested in this field and dedicate their life in Mathematic regardless of the relatively low income. They find great happiness in dealing with the numbers and equations. In conclusion, the job can bring him/her delight and can satisfy his/her eagerness in better understanding the world.

Not all the companys or organizations are profit driven. These are companies remain independent of the government and the companies who sponsor money on them. Their workers are partly volunteer who obviously can not get decent pay. NGO such as Green Peace, focus on solving  global events, they fight against pollution , global warming, species distinction and so on.They also persuade factory to produce eco-friendly product.. In short, they work to protect the nature regardless of the income .

Helping others is another reason. For example, doctors utilize their expertise to help people in danger. Given the responsibility, they do their best to save patients from death. Moreover, some of them cure people with mental disease which is prevailing in modern society. Equally fitting is another group, teachers. They help parents educate their offspring to gain knowledge and skills. They help students understand the society and build world-view. They become supportive friends when students meet trouble and want someone to talk with. They are people work for offering help.

Although money is important for everyone, it can not and should not be the destination that we work for. There are many meaningful jobs waiting for us, of cause, without money driven involved.

gjunUID: 2537391

Living in this complex world is not easy for each and every individual. We need money because it is essential for one to survive in the world. However, people do not merely work for money because we need far more than to survive. It may be rather superficial to directly link work with money.

Some people work because they have great curiosity in their job. (我觉得这里转到举例最好用for instance连一下，要不然让人感觉有点突然)Mathematic(s) is a course require logical thinking and numerous calculating(calculations) which are seemingly boring and tedious for general people. And many people feel reluctant to learn this course because it does not seems(去掉s) to relate to our daily life. However, there are a group of people who are interested in this field and dedicate their life in Mathematic(s) regardless of the relatively low income. They find great happiness in dealing with the numbers and equations. In conclusion, the job can bring him/her delight and can satisfy his/her eagerness in better understanding the world.

Not all the companys or organizations are profit driven. These are companies remain independent of the government and the companies who sponsor money on them. Their workers are partly volunteer who obviously can not get decent pay. NGO such as Green Peace, focus on solving  global events, they fight against pollution , global warming, species distinction and so on.(NGOs, scuh as Green Peace, focusing on solving global events, fight against....)They also persuade factory(factories) to produce eco-friendly product(s). In short, they work to protect the nature regardless of the income .

Helping others is another reason. For example, doctors utilize their expertise to help people in danger. Given the responsibility, they do their best to save patients from death. Moreover, some of them cure people with mental disease which is prevailing in modern society. Equally fitting is another group, teachers. They help parents educate their offspring to gain knowledge and skills. They help students understand the society and build world-view. They become supportive friends when students meet trouble and want someone to talk with. They are people work for offering help. (最后四句都偏简单，都是they...是不是在造排比？)

Although money is important for everyone, it can not and should not be the destination that we work for. There are many meaningful jobs waiting for us, of cause(course), without money driven involved.

有一些小细节没有处理好,应注意.
我认为你的作文很不错:
1:结构脉络很清晰
2:TS简洁明了,准确到位
3:词汇\短语比较丰富
4:证明部分充分合理

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

:)

多谢~