COMEON作文小组------jackallen0714 10月19日作业

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

10月19日
150) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
技术使得这个世界更加适合居住，同意与否？(185,技术与进步)

Life quality is tightly connected with the environment which we lived in. As important parts of daily life, communication, transportation and entertainment had been greatly improved by modern technology. Therefore, I believe technology indeed contribute in making our world a better place.

People communicate much more easier than ever before. Nowadays those low efficient tools, such as letters, have been replaced by more advanced ones. Instant message, mobile phone, email are among the greatest inventions which contribute to daily communication. Obviously, with the help of these technologies, people are better informed of each other and the world they lived in. Therefore, emotion exchange take place more frequently and, in some sense, greatly shortened the distance between lovers, friends and family members. In conclusion, technology provide people a better approach to enjoy daily communication.

Better transportation is readily available for common people. With the high efficient bus or subway system, it takes only a few minutes for people to commute from company to home. And owning a private car is no longer a luxurious dream. Driving to the countryside with friends and family for vocation is prevailing among new entrants to middle class. If you can afford the expense and the airplane ticket, you can even go abroad to enjoy their holidays. The advanced transportation system also bring efficiency to relative industries which are fair important for our daily life.All in all, transportation improved by technology allow us to enjoy a convenient life.

After stressful work, everyone needs a complete relaxation. Thanks to the modern technology, time once was used to do tedious household works now has been released. And the entertainment we can participate become increasingly prosperous. We can watch TV or movies, surf the Internet, listen to the MP3 music, play computer games and so on. All of them help a lot in reducing the stress accumulated during the daytime. In short, technology provide us more time and more methods to pursue excitement and relaxation.

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

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梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

Life quality is tightly connected with the environment which we lived in (where we are living). As important parts of daily life, communication, transportation and entertainment had been greatly improved by modern technology. Therefore, I believe technology indeed contribute in making our world a better place. (technology has devoted itself to make…indeed.)
communicate much more easier (easily) than ever before. Nowadays those low efficient tools, such as letters, have been replaced by more advanced ones. Instant message, mobile phone, email are among the greatest inventions which contribute to daily communication. Obviously, with the help of these technologies, people are better informed of each other and the world they lived in. Therefore, emotion exchange take place more frequently and, in some sense, greatly shortened the distance between lovers, friends and family members. In conclusion, technology provide (has provided) people a better approach to enjoy daily communication.
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Better transportation is readily available for common people. With the high efficient bus or subway system, it takes only a few minutes for people to commute from company to home. And owning a private car is no longer a luxurious dream. Driving to the countryside with friends and family for vocation is prevailing among new entrants to middle class. If you can afford the expense and the airplane ticket, you can even go abroad to enjoy their holidays (your). The advanced transportation system also bring (systems also have brought) efficiency to relative industries which are fair important for our daily life. All in all, transportation improved by technology allow us to enjoy a convenient life. (进行了总结，很好。)z
After stressful work, everyone needs a complete relaxation. Thanks to the modern technology, time once was used to do tedious household works now has been released. And the entertainment we can participate become increasingly prosperous. We can watch TV or movies, surf the Internet, listen to the MP3 music, play (and play) computer games and so on. All of them help a lot in reducing the stress accumulated during the daytime. In short, technology provide us more time and more methods to pursue excitement and relaxation.
总体来讲，我认为您写的很好。段落结构清晰，理由充分，而且每个理由段结尾都有相应的总结句。
建议：再写一段重申观点和总结论据的段落放在文章末尾。句子的结构再多加考虑些。