COMEON作文小组------jimibt 10月19日作业

jimibtUID: 2560923

Nowadays, technology is used in many placeswe can see. It is so powerful that it has changed many people's lives. Admittedly,some of these changes also bring some trouble like car noise, air pollution,etc.However, with technology; people enjoy better life, which is moreconvenient, more amused and safer.  

First, due to the improvement of technology, it contributes to making our lifemore convenience than ever. It reduce the difficulty and effort we previousneed to accomplish some task. For example, t cost less time to travel from onecountry to another. By aircraft, it takes only several hours from United States to Great Britain. But in old daysbefore 1900, with out plane, people need some months to go over the oceanbetween the two countries. Another case is huge times of computing. To estimatethe weather, the specialists need to compute a lot of data, which can be up tobillions times of computing, but now with super computer, it can be done in afew days.

Not only technology has made our life more convenient, it also provides us morechoices to enjoy our spare time. For personal life, we can see film in mp4 andhear the digital music by apple ipod anywhere. And we can share funny things tofriends by My Space. And we can also get friends from Internet. Further;it gives our opportunities by using breathing tools, to dive in the oceanto see the beautiful bed of sea animals. All of these entertainments make ourlife more wonderful.

Third, it made our lives we face as safer as we can imagine in modern society.There are efficient tools to protect our homes. For example, it is easy to seefire alarm systems in buildings. When fire is set up, the tools will alarmand take essential procedures like pouring waters to protect the property. Andin old days, to some terms, it is danger to travel oceans when encounteringglacier and other things. Titanic is a famous example. But by moderntechnology, it is much possible find the glacier before the danger occur.

To sum up, human invent many useful technology. With the technologyappropriately adopted for good purposes, it can make our world to be a betterplace to live.

gjunUID: 2537391

不好意思,下午给你意见,我睡个午觉先~
抱歉~

gjunUID: 2537391

Nowadays, technology is used in many places (记得空格呀)we can see. It is so powerful that it has changed many people's lives. Admittedly,some of these changes also bring some trouble like car(traffic好些，我觉得) noise, air pollution,etc.However, with technology; (,)people enjoy better life, which is more (空格)convenient, more amused and safer.  
First, due to the improvement of technology, it contributes to making our life (空格) more convenience(convenient) than ever. It reduce(+s) the difficulty and effort we previous(+ly)(空格) need(ed) to accomplish some task(+s). For example,(i+) t cost(+s) less time to travel from one(空格)country to another. By aircraft, it takes only several hours from United States to Great Britain. But in old days (space)before 1900, with(no space here)out plane, people need some months to go over("accross" is better, my opinion) the ocean(space)between the two countries. Another case is huge times of computing. To estimatethe weather, the specialists need to compute a lot of data, which can be up to(space)billions(of) times of computing, but now with (a)super computer, it can be done in a(space)few days.(不要吧?还要好几天,几秒就够了吧)
Not only technology has made our life more convenient, it also provides us (with)more(space)choices to enjoy our spare time. For personal life, we can see film(s) in mp4 and (space)hear the digital music by apple ipod(大写吧) anywhere. And we can share funny things to(space)friends by My Space. And we can also get friends from Internet. Further;it gives our opportunities by using breathing tools, to dive in the ocean to see the beautiful bed of sea animals. All of these entertainments make ourlife more wonderful.
Third, it made(has made) our lives we face as safer as we can imagine in modern society.There are efficient tools to protect our homes. For example, it is easy to see fire alarm systems in buildings. When fire is setted up, the tools(system) will alarm and take essential procedures like pouring waters to protect the property. And in old days, to some terms(extent), it is(was) danger to travel oceans when encountering glacier and other things. Titanic is a famous example. But by modern technology, it is much possible find the glacier before the danger occur(s).
To sum up, human(have) invent(+ed) many useful technology. With the technology appropriately adopted for good purposes,(没明白什么意思...) it can make our world to be a better place to live.
总的来说,这篇文章结构还是不错的.但就是小毛病太多了,可能刚练习在电脑上打字,要记得加空格.还有有的地方记得加冠词
多注意下细节就好了

jimibtUID: 2560923

谢谢gjun的点评！！:loveliness:

我在word上写的空格都是有的，复制贴在这就不见了，汗。。
最后一句话说的是对科技的善意的正确使用。