COMEON作文小组------jackallen0714 10月23日作业

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

10月23日
这篇写得不流畅~谁能帮忙改改？
Grades(marks) encourage students to learn? (2008/2/16，185里面的经典题目 学习和教育类)


Grades offer us a mean to evaluate one's performance on a certain subject. It is already a wildly practiced norm in education field. But can grades motivate students to learn? I believe the fact might be far from general expectation.

The essence of study is to learn the methods or principles of a certain subject. However, the existence of grades often mislead students to concentrate on the result.Students will repeatedly practice the same kinds of exercise to ensure an excellent score rather than to understand the essential meaning behind the test. Take learning English for example, it is common things that students who often get high score in the test fail to represent correspondingly excellent communication skills. They do not realized that language is to be mastered as a tool to communicate rather than to get a high grade. Because for them, score is all of the matter.

Moreover, during the process of purchasing high or higher grades, students often lose their critical thinking abilities. They do not care about the rightness of the equations or the justness of a thought, what they learned about is this: if you can get the score then it is right. Their world is either right or wrong. Apparently in a wider extent it is often not the case at all. Not all things are perfect, most of them are always in the process of adjustment. However, controlled by the grades, they seldom realize this important fact.

Leaving this high grades students aside, there are also students do not doing well in their study---according to the score rules. Grade only provide them anger, anxiety, depress, so on and so forth. For them the score is the nightmare they would never forget about. They may consider themself as a idiot and lose self-confidence. Eventually they will feel reluctant to learn or even choose to quit the school. Because they can never sense any achievement in study or find any interesting in school.

Although grades can partly reflect a person's comprehensive ability, it is far from perfect. In fact, students are more motivated to get a high score rather than motivated to learn. Score never equals to ability, there is considerable difference between them.

jimibtUID: 2560923

这篇我先记下了，还没写到这篇作文呢，这篇似乎应该明天2点之前交的。
楼上的超前了哦。

ps:楼主不要忘了改我作文了。
我是2点最后一个交的，
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

jimibtUID: 2560923

Grades offer us a mean(改means) to evaluate one's performance on a certain subject. It is already a wildly practiced norm in education field. But can grades motivate students to learn? I believe the fact might be far from general expectation.

The essence of study is to learn the methods or principles of a certain subject. However, the existence of grades often mislead students to concentrate on the result.Students will repeatedly practice the same kinds of exercise(exercises) to ensure an excellent score rather than to understand the essential meaning behind the test (觉得意思不明白). Take learning English for example, it is common things that
students who often get high score in the test fail to represent correspondingly excellent communication skills(觉得这个表达很别扭，改为fail to communicate with Americans well如何？ ). They do not realized（realize） that language is to be mastered as a tool to communicate rather than to get a high grade. Because for them(这个them与前一句they有什么关系？觉得指代关系不明确，删掉，建议后面score is ..用as 放在句首，再放到They do not 之前), score is all of the matter.


Moreover, during the process of purchasing high or higher grades, students often lose their critical thinking abilities. They do not
care（觉得不要太绝对，建议改为are encouraged not to care） about the rightness of the equations or the justness of a thought, what they learned(learn) about is this: if you can get the score then it is right. Their world is either right or wrong. Apparently in a wider extent it is often not the case at all. (加since)Not all things are perfect, most of them are always in the process of adjustment. However, controlled by the grades, they seldom realize this important fact.（有个例子就最好了）

Leaving this high grades students aside(觉得leaving aside **更顺), there are also students（加who） do not doing well in their study--according to the score rules. Grade only provide（some of ,更显客观） them anger, anxiety, depress, so on and so forth. For them the score is the nightmare they would never forget about. They may consider themself as a idiot and lose self-confidence. Eventually they will feel reluctant to learn or even choose to quit the school. (用“，because”)Because they can never sense any achievement in study or find any interesting（加things） in school.(这段话用例子说明，第三句之后的话更好了)

Although grades can partly reflect a person's comprehensive ability, it is（they are） far from perfect. In fact, students are
more motivated to get a high score rather than motivated to learn. Score never equals to ability, there is considerable difference
between them.

全文结构不错，对主题发展的较好，能多点例子就好了，另外注意一下细节。




[ 本帖最后由 jimibt 于 2008-10-24 14:05 编辑 ]