COMEON作文小组------needyou 10月24日作业

needyouUID: 2251649

Do you agree with the following statement: nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment--things they like to do-- rather than the things they should do.（2008年03月7-8日,生活习惯类）

In recently, some people think that nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment-things they like to do—rather than the things they should do. I do not agree with the statement, all the reasons I state below.

First, a recent research state that in modern society, people has less sleep time than fifty years ago. About one and half hours less. So it’s from another side shows that modern people has less spare time than ever, and force to work. Or force to work too long too hard, and another problem, their health face problem, so they force to do some exercise and to keep health. Such a example like me. I’m a computer programmer in a corporation, and everyday I wake up at 7:30 o’clock, getting on the bus, and in 8:30 o’clock I’m in the office, work a whole day, when I back home at 20:00 o’clock, I just too tired to do anything I like, or my avocation. I just do not want to eat anything, my only desire in lying in the bed, and have a sweet dream, but, it’s also a dream, sometimes calling from the company force you to wake up and get back to work, in home! So you become a working machine, seven days, 24 hours, without personal time, can you do personal things? I do not think so.

Second, some people will say that, if your personal enjoyment is your work, you are a so luck man, and work just like play, that’s a totally wrong idea, I know so many singers, they like sing, but they can not sing the song they like, my friend who is singing at a night bar, have to fit for the eccentric customers and the employer’s like, sing some garbage songs to fit for them. And pretend a happy smile in her face, what a nightmare? Can she say ”luck”?

In conclude, modern people in such a high work stress that can not have time to do their own likes, and always force to work, that what they should do, they should do work to live, earning to buying food, rent dormitory, that what they should do.

ly8768UID: 2452066

In recently, some people think that nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment-things they like to do—rather than the things they should do. I do not agree with the statement, all the reasons I state below. (最后一句很奇怪啊，可以改成 all the reasons I state are as follows)

First (firstly), a recent research state (states) that in modern society, people has less sleep time than fifty years ago. About one and half hours less. (这不是一个句子，两句合成一句，改成 people have about one and half hours less sleep time than they had fifty years ago) So it’s from another side shows that modern people has less spare time than ever, and force to work (这句也有问题 So from another side it shows that modern people has less spare time than ever before because they are forced to work hard for a long time). Or force to work too long too hard,(这句不要了) and another problem, their health face problem (And another problem that they face is health problem ), so they force to do some exercise and to keep health.(这句不要了，没什么关系) Such a (an) example (is like) like me. I’m a computer programmer in a corporation, and everyday (every day) I wake up at 7:30 o’clock, getting on the bus, and in 8:30 o’clock I’m in the office, work a whole day, when I back home at 20:00 o’clock, I just too tired to do anything I like, or my avocation. I just do not want to eat anything, my only desire in lying in the bed, and have a sweet dream, but, it’s also a dream, sometimes calling from the company force you to wake up and get back to work, in home! So you become a working machine, seven days, 24 hours, without personal time, can you do personal things? I do not think so. (这个例子举的也太流水帐了，还有，最好不要用感叹号，还有最后一句设问句，也不好。 I will take myself as an example. I am a software programmer in a corporation. I wake up early daily and work in the corporation until eight pm. When I return home, I have no appetite to eat anything but just want to have a good sleep; however, the only dream breaks up for usually I am called to go back to the company and work for extra time. As a result, it makes no sense to say that we have any spare time on our personal things.)
(话说回来，lz所在的单位也太黑了吧，简直就是纯粹的剥削和压迫.我也是学计算机的，看来以后的日子不好过啊)

Second (secondly), some people will say that, if your personal enjoyment is your work, you are a so (such a luck man) luck man, and work just like play, that’s a totally wrong idea, I know so many singers, they like sing, but they can not sing the song they like, my friend who is singing at a night bar, have to fit for the eccentric customers and the employer’s like, sing some garbage songs to fit for them. And pretend a happy smile in her face, what a nightmare? Can she say ”luck”?

上面一段改成这样吧：Secondly, some people will argue that if one work with their own enjoyment, he/she would be fairly lucky for their work just like entertainment. Nevertheless, in my perspective, the statement is totally unacceptable. I know numerous singers who are in favor of singing, but they cannot sing what they are fond of. One example is my friend who work in a night bar. Despite the songs she perform in the bar is really disgusting and lowbrow, yet she have to sing them with an artificial smile for they have to earn a living. In this manner, hardly can anyone say that she is a lucky one.

In conclude, modern people in such a high work stress that can not (cannot) have time to do their own likes (things that they are interested in), and always force to work, that what they should do, they should do work to live, earning to buying food, rent dormitory, that what they should do.

上一段改成这样： In conclude, modern people living in a high stress rarely have time to do what they are interested in. They are forced to work in the respect that they have to earn for their daily expenditure including food, dormitory which they should do.

话说回来，lz可得多加努力了，先解决语法和词汇的问题吧

[ 本帖最后由 ly8768 于 2008-10-25 18:37 编辑 ]