cleanwater25 27号作业

cleanwater25UID: 2295333

提纲：同意车越来越少
1，石油涨价了，而且因为是不可再生资源，一定不会降价。
2，现在有了比汽车更有效更可靠的交通工具，比如地铁
3，因为汽车尾气污染环境，汽车造成交通堵塞，因此政府都在努力倡导使用公共交通工具

With the dramatic development of economy in many countries, automobiles have been playing one of the most important part in our daily lives since its invention. Nowadays, as the massive production, the price of one car is more lower, which enable us to be able to buy our private cars. This fact of increaing car number leads to a lot of problems, some people believe that this trend will go on, while others hold the opposite idea. However, as far as I concerned, the amount of cars will be declined.

The first reason why I agree with this point is that as is known to us, the price of petroleum has been ascending for shortly 20 years. Today, the average price per gallon is virtually as 5 times higher as that in 1990. In China, when referring to the issue of cars, most people will hold the opinion that it is even harder for them to "raise" or "breed" their cars than purchase ones. Therefore, the price of petroleum frustrate many people to buy their own cars which they used to dreaming of. What is more, As we know, petroleum belongs to unrenewed source. less and less fruel would remain on the earth, and this fact will definitely contributs to even higher price.

Another reason reason for my preference for this idea is that some other more efficient transpotations have been emerged these several years. To better illustrate my point, here is a good example that is very persuasive. Take the subway as an example, compared to our private automobile, subway has a lot of advantages. Firstly, the speed is higher which can come to nearly 300km per hour, and the speed of a car is generally one third of that of the subway. What is more, the subway is very puncture which determine it as one of the most reliable transportations.

Last but not the least, many governments advocates their people to take public transportation to guarantee their efficient traffic and evironment. No one can deny the fact that the problems brought by large amount automobiles, such as pollution, noise and traffic jams, damage our lives' quality. Isn't it unfortunate for us that our air is no longer fresh in the cities, our traffics are not smooth any more? More and more people have been aware of significance of evironmental protection and traffics. Therefore, under this awareness, people would rather take buses or other transportation than buy a private car.

In sum, I believe that high price of petroleum, traffic jams and government advocate for public transportation will dramatically come down the cars.

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

sorry，迟了
改你的作文颇有压力啊~


cleanwater25 27号作业

提纲：同意车越来越少
1，石油涨价了，而且因为是不可再生资源，一定不会降价。
2，现在有了比汽车更有效更可靠的交通工具，比如地铁
3，因为汽车尾气污染环境，汽车造成交通堵塞，因此政府都在努力倡导使用公共交通工具留学

With the dramatic development of economy in many countries, automobiles have been playing one of the most (becoming increasingly 个人习惯) important part in our daily lives since its invention. Nowadays, as the massive production, the price of one car is more lower, which enable us to be able to buy our private cars. （有点不连贯，Nowadays, the price of one car has dropped down due to the massive production, which enable us to 重复了be able to buy our private cars.）This fact of increaing car number leads to a lot of problems, some people believe that this trend will go on, while others hold the opposite idea. However, as far as I am concerned, the amount of cars will decline.

The first reason why I agree with this point is that as is known to us, the price of petroleum has been ascending for shortly 20 years. Today, the average price per gallon is virtually as 5 times higher as that in 1990. In China, when referring to the issue of cars, most people will hold the opinion that it is even harder for them to "raise" or "breed" their cars than to purchase ones. Therefore, the price of petroleum frustrates many people to buy their own cars which they used to dreaming of. What is more, As we know, petroleum belongs to unrenewed source. less and less fruel would remain on the earth（the total amount of this fuel remainns descending which will definitely……） , and this fact will definitely contributs to even higher price.

Another reason for my preference for this idea is that some other more efficient transpotations have been emerged these several years. To better illustrate my point, here is a good example that is very persuasive. Take the subway as an example, compared to our private automobile, subway has a lot of advantages. Firstly, the speed is higher which can come to nearly 300km per hour, and the speed of a car is generally one third of that of the subway. What is more, the subway is very puncture 同疑问 which determine it as one of the most reliable transportations.

Last but not the least, many governments advocates their people to take public transportation to guarantee their efficient traffic and evironment. No one can deny the fact that the problems brought by large amount automobiles, such as pollution, noise and traffic jams, damage our life quality. Isn't it unfortunate for us that our air is no longer fresh in the cities, our traffics are not smooth anymore? More and more people have been aware of significance of evironmental protection and traffics. Therefore, under this awareness, people would rather take buses or other transportation than buy a private car.

In sum, I believe that high price of petroleum, traffic jams and government advocate for public transportation will dramatically come down the cars.


[ 本帖最后由 jackallen0714 于 2008-10-28 22:22 编辑 ]

ly8768UID: 2452066

正如LZ所说，改作文真的很累啊，不过我就帮你改到11月1 号吧。


With the dramatic development of economy in many countries, automobiles have been playing one of the most important part(s) in our daily lives since its invention. Nowadays, as the massive production, the price of one car is more (much)lower, which enable us to be able(enable和be able to重复了) to buy our(our和us 重复了) private cars. This fact of increasing car number leads to a lot of problems,(;) some people believe that this trend will go on, while others hold the opposite idea. However, as far as I (am) concerned, the amount of cars will be declined(decline就可以了，是不及物东西).
我个人感觉把However放在This fact of increasing car number 前面好些，而as far as I (am) concerned前面不需要这样一个连词。因为前面两句话是陈述了两个观点，后面只是支持其中一个，并没有意思上的转折。

The first reason why I agree with this point is that as is known to us, the price of petroleum has been ascending for shortly 20 years. Today, the average price per gallon is virtually as 5 times higher as that in 1990. In China, when referring to the issue of cars, most people will hold the opinion that it is even harder for them to "raise" or "breed" their cars than (to) purchase ones. Therefore, the price of petroleum frustrate(s) many people to buy their own cars which they used to dreaming of. What is more, As(as) we know, petroleum belongs to unrenewed(non-renewable 不可再生) source(resource才是资源的意思). less and less fruel(fuel) would remain on the earth, and this fact will definitely contributs(contributes) to (加个its吧，要不感觉指代不明)even higher price.

Another reason reason(笔误哦～) for my preference for this idea is that some other more efficient transportations(觉得这样好些some other transportations that are more efficient) have been(去掉been，这句是主动，不是被动句) emerged these several years. To better illustrate my point, here is a good example that is very persuasive. Take(Taking吧) the subway as an example, compared to our private automobile, subway has a lot of advantages. Firstly, the speed is higher which can come to nearly 300km per hour, and the speed of a car is generally one third of that of the subway. What is more, the subway is very puncture(不知道这里puncture是什么意思) which determine it as one of the most reliable transportations.

Last but not the least, many governments advocates(advocate) their people to take public transportation to guarantee their efficient traffic and environment. No one can deny the fact that the problems brought by large amount automobiles, such as pollution, noise and traffic jams, damage our lives' quality(our life 似乎是固定用法). Isn't it unfortunate for us that our air is no longer fresh in the cities, (and) our traffics are not smooth any more(anymore)? More and more people have been aware of (the) significance of environmental protection and traffics. Therefore, under this awareness (therefore和under this awareness感觉重复了), people would rather take buses or other transportation than buy a private car.

In sum, I believe that high price of petroleum, traffic jams and government advocate(advocating 名词+现在分词好像可以做主语) for public transportation will dramatically come down the cars.
这一篇逻辑很清晰，结构也很好，而且例子得当，加油:)