COMEON作文小组--devilkineleven10.27作业

devilkinelevenUID: 2442869

你认为接下来20年汽车的使用会不会减少？2006 年10 月8 日 技术进步类

In the next twenty years, automobile usges are not likely to decrease. On the contrary, People are going to depend on cars, buses even heavily than before. I'd like to support this viewpoint from three aspects: increasement in population, trend toward urbanization and people's eagerness to possess their own cars.

The most dominant reason that automobiles are in increasing usage is that the world population is still enlarging. When more people need to travel from one place to another, there will be more demand on the number and usage frequency of cars, buses, etc. Take China for example, the enlarging population entails more manufacturing of automobiles. It is not surprising to see traffic jam nowadays in major cities such as Beijing, Shanghai on rush hours. This phenomenon reflects, to some extent, the huge number of automobiles due to a great population. This trend in population increasement is not going to cease in the future 20 years. Therefore it is reasonable to predict that as a concomitant side effect, more employment of cars can be expected.

Second, with urbanization process comes the constant movement of population, thus resulting in more dependence on automobiles. Cities are going to be industrial centers or political centers whereas workers are moving to satellite counties to live. Every morning, workers go to cities to work and at night, they come back to their home which locates outside the city. Constant movements from working place and dwelling requires more transporting means.

Of course, I may meet opposition from people who hold the opinion that cars, buses are not the only way for transportation. They may take trains. I accede this point. However according to my knowledge, most people would like to have their own cars instead of taking trains for the simple reason that with a car we can go anywhere at any time. I have a bunch of friends who bought a car immediately when they could afford. To most people, automobiles provide not only convinience but also a symbol of high social status.

To sum up, automobiles are going to be on greater demand and used even frequently in the future 20 years.

jiwasunUID: 2425569

COMEON作文小组--devilkineleven10.27作业


你认为接下来20年汽车的使用会不会减少？2006 年10 月8 日 技术进步类

In the next twenty years, automobile usges (usages) are not likely to decrease. On the contrary, People are going to depend on cars, buses even heavily than before. I'd like to support this viewpoint from three aspects: increasement (increase) in population, trend toward urbanization and people's eagerness to possess their own cars.

The most dominant reason that automobiles are in increasing usage is that the world population is still enlarging. When more people need to travel from one place to another, there will be more demand on the number and usage frequency of cars, buses, etc. Take China for example, the enlarging population entails more manufacturing of automobiles. It is not surprising to see traffic jam nowadays in major cities such as Beijing, Shanghai on (in or during I am not sure, but not on, you can check it in a dictionary) rush hours. This phenomenon reflects, to some extent, the huge number of automobiles due to a great population. This trend in population increasement (increase) is not going to cease in the future 20 (twenty) years. Therefore it is reasonable to predict that as a concomitant side effect, more employment of cars can be expected.

Second, with urbanization process comes the constant movement of population, thus resulting in more dependence on automobiles. Cities are going to be industrial centers or political centers whereas workers are moving to satellite counties to live. Every morning, workers go to cities to work and at night, they come back to their home which locates outside the city. Constant movements from working place and dwelling requires more transporting means.

Of course, I may meet opposition from people who hold the opinion that cars, buses are not the only way for transportation. They may take trains. I accede this point. However according to my knowledge, most people would like to have their own cars instead of taking trains for the simple reason that with a car we can go anywhere at any time. I have a bunch of friends who bought a car immediately when they could afford. To most people, automobiles provide not only convinience (convenience) but also a symbol of high social status.

To sum up, automobiles are going to be on greater demand and used even frequently in the future 20 years.

总结：
1、  思路很清晰，三个分论点都在段落开头写出
2、  有个别小错误，不影响文章理解
3、  movement 我觉得有些不妥，但又找不到别的什么词代替，再琢磨琢磨，有个commute你可以试试
4、  词汇方面要增加点变化，多用同义词

devilkinelevenUID: 2442869

:) Thanks for the trenchent critique. I especially agree with the fourth point. The same word sees to appear again and again because of my small pool of active vocabulary.

nevergohomeUID: 2418838

第三段第一句似乎缺个主语。。

qawsedUID: 2359935

确实缺少个主语，论证很充分啊，我喜欢Of course, I may meet 那段，小鬼加油啊！

devilkinelevenUID: 2442869

Second, with urbanization process comes the constant movement of population, thus resulting in more dependence on automobiles.

MS不缺主语的样子呀，constant movement of population是主语，只不过后置了。这个句型老早之前看spiderman学来的：With great power comes great responsibility.;)

组长考完了吧？我们小组声势浩大啊，组长费心了:handshake

我会努力的，加油加油

qawsedUID: 2359935

学习了学习了，我属于少见多怪了，我好高兴啊看见你出现，我考完了，不过我不离开小组，加油加油！