ISSUE51 [FF小组]第一次作业---bymfkxc

mfkxcUID: 2540052

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

由于我的AW是要3月才考所以以前一直没看关于写作的东西，这次ISSUE也是花了3个半小时才完成的处女作，肯定写得不好，因为之前什么准备工作都没做过，不过还是欢迎大家来拍
提纲：1 教育是让学生熟悉社会了解社会的过程
      2 正面说在我们大学教育中，个人兴趣和需要在教育中的重要性
      3 反面说教育尤其是基础学科的教育的必要性和实行特殊的教育模式的不可行性
      4 总结教育是两者的结合

Education not only to enable students to acquire knowledge and skills, but also that they will learn to get along with each other, which is the process of socialization. Thus, it must be balanced between generalist and specialist.

First, I will first give my agreement reasons for the statement. To those college students who are just going to join into the society, education should follow the students' need. On of the destination of education is to teach each students how to be a useful people for the society. As we all known, in the modern society, along with the technology developing, the competition is more fierily than before. Every one who wants to be independent should has his or her own skills. On this meaning, education, especially college education, should meet students' need to guild them to suit the society for their students have ripe enough to have them own society indent. And only by doing this, the student will be more familiar to their work, and the education itself has achieved its destination.

On the other hand, though to the colleges student,  giving them the specifically designed for each student's need is a effective action, to those student who do not know exactly about world, they should learn some basic course no matter whether they interest or not. Another important destination of education is that to form the student’s values. Some courses that seem tedious at the surface, such as the moral course, maybe history, math or science for some girls, or even the literature for some boys, are common sense for every modern people. Moral course to help us to be a honest people, math and science teach us the logical thinking, literature and history can improve ourselves. Without any one of these, the education will out of its way, no mention to be effective.

In addition, education to meets all students needs and interests is no a easy thing.   For one thing, to accomplish this goal, we need kinds of teach specialize in every aspects. Then how to gain so many teachers is a complex problem. For another, we also need enough budgets to establish the teaching environment, such as the classroom, the teaching instrument and so on. Both of these are not available in most places, but education also is effective for their condition.

To sum up, we can’t agree that education will be truly effective when meet individual needs and interests, and it should balance between general educate and specifically educate.


[ 本帖最后由 mfkxc 于 2008-10-29 22:27 编辑 ]

槲寄生UID: 2429308

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
提纲：1 教育是让学生熟悉社会了解社会的过程
      2 正面说在我们大学教育中，个人兴趣和需要在教育中的重要性
      3 反面说教育尤其是基础学科的教育的必要性和实行特殊的教育模式的不可行性
      4 总结教育是两者的结合

Education not only to enable students to acquire knowledge and skills, but also that they (代词指代不明，主语是education,怎么又变成students了呢) will learn to get along with each other, which is the process of socialization. Thus, it must be balanced between generalist and specialist.
这一短是说：教育不仅是学生们获得知识，还使他们学会与人相处，这是社会化的一部分。所以应该平衡专门教育和一般教育
我觉得这个thus用的有些突兀，作者没有很好的建立因果关系。

First（看过以前修改的作文，说用first太淡薄，用fundamentally, basically会更有信息量）, I will first give my agreement reasons for the statement（短首应首先说明观点）. To those college students who are just（没用） going to join into (enter) the society, education should follow（？） the students' need. On of（one of吧） the destination（是指地点，aim, goal, objective） of education is to teach each students how(没用) to be a useful people for the society. As we all known, in the modern society, along with the technology（复数好一些吧） developing, the competition is more fierily (fiercely) than before. Every one (anyone) who wants to be independent should has（用原型） his or her own skills. On this meaning, education, especially college education, should meet students' need to guild (guide?) them to suit the society for (until) their students have ripe enough to have them own society indent (这句看不懂哦). And only by doing this, the student will be more familiar to their work, and the education itself has achieved its destination.
这里说的是大学教育，只是教育的一部分。
我觉得题目有在强调“meet the individual needs and interests of each student.”而普通的specifically design education 或者说general education也能使学生获得知识和技能。是不是应该突出怎样使学生unique呢？

On the other hand, though to the colleges student,  giving them the specifically designed for each student's need is a effective action, to those student who do not know exactly about world, they should learn some basic course no matter whether they interest or not.(这里可以说对further education 的影响) Another important destination of education is that to form the student’s values. Some courses that seem tedious at the surface, such as the moral course, maybe history, math or science for some girls, or even the literature for some boys, are common sense for every modern people. Moral course to help us to be a honest people, math and science teach us the logical thinking, literature and history can improve ourselves. Without any one of these, the education will out of its way, no mention to be effective.
这段写教育一般教育的基础作用，观点很好，但似乎没有展开，其实还可以反过来论证，就是写，如果不这样做，会blablabla…
开头让步，然后提出观点，是不是应该反过来呢（这个我也不大清楚，感觉）

In addition, education to meets all students needs and interests is no an easy thing.   For one thing, to accomplish this goal, we need kinds of teach specialize in every aspects. Then how to gain so many teachers is a complex problem. For another, we also need enough budgets to establish the teaching environment, such as the classroom, the teaching instrument and so on. Both of these are not available in most places, but education also is effective for their condition.
观点不错，但是写的太简单了，没有事例支撑。

To sum up, we can’t agree that education will be truly effective when meet individual needs and interests, and it should balance between general educate and specifically educate.
结尾应把每段的大意总结下，然后得出结论。


1.        论证不够充分，论据太淡薄。 这个可能跟字数有关。
2.        要加强语法啊，我改了一段，不过我自己本身语法也不好，可以讨论。