IBT作文求拍

Vicky2015UID：2509133

Topic:  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Tour guides have greatly contributed to tourism, and benefited some tourists as well. However, when people accept the convenience that tour guides offer them, they are, in some other aspect, deprived of some enjoyment of travelling. So a do-it-yourself trip is, in comparison, more pleasant.

Modern society has witnessed the great influence that commercialization impact on most parts of the society, including tourism. It is often reported on newspapers that tour guides, in lots of time, act as shopping guides, persuading, or even forcing visitors to buy this or that products. They choose for their clients hotels and restaurants that will bring themselves largest incomes, regardless of the travellers’ comforts. Those all lead to a large number of people preferring to go on their journey by themselves.

Another crucial drawback of travelling in group is the restricted time schedule. One have to follow the whole group and spend certain time at one spot. It makes travelling like a task. People could not stay longer at somewhere they prefer and could not leave immediately at somewhere they find nothing interesting. Some time-tables are so brutal that travellers have to rush from spot to spot, and they have to spend most of the time on buses or trains. This ignores individual differences and could consequently lead to an unpleasant trip.

Tour guides and group trips do have some positive influences. Travelling agencies help tourists procedures of booking travelling tickets and hotels, even at less expensive prices. Tour guides could prevent those new comers form loosing their ways and make the trip relatively safer by group travelling.

However, in comparison, this travelling form excludes some ease and comfort that ought to be the purpose of travelling. As a result, it brings more drawbacks than benefits ,so it is by no means an ideal way of travelling.

Vicky2015UID：2509133

LS要一起改作文吗？？

Vicky2015UID：2509133

这篇文章。。没人来改吗？？？

winter516UID：2272351

我也在找啊。。

mpromanusUID：2565872

Tour guides have greatly contributed greatly to tourism, and benefited some tourists as well. However, when people accept the convenience that tour guides offer them, they are, in some other aspects, deprived of some enjoyment of travelling. So a do-it-yourself free-and-easy trip is, in comparison, more pleasant. (问题是 'Do you agree or disagree...', 所以至少要在第一段有一句So I don't agree that travelling in a group with a tour guide is the best way to travel, 这个谓之破题，然后才说A free-and easy trip is...more pleasant.这个谓之立论)

Modern society has witnessed the great influence that commercialization imparts (impact其实和influence是近义，所以impact influence等于中文说‘产生影响影响’) on most parts of the society, including tourism. It is often reported on newspapers that tour guides, in lots of time, frequently act as shopping guides, persuading, or even forcing visitors to buy these or those products. They choose for their clients hotels and restaurants that will bring earn themselves the largest highest incomes fees (用词尽量精确。这句我改给你其实也没有用什么很高深的词汇。), regardless of the travellers’ comforts. Those all lead to a large number of people preferring to go on their journeys by themselves. (再加一句点题就好..Therefore travelling with a tour guide is most likely not the best way to travel.)

Another crucial drawback of travelling in group is the restricted time schedule. One has to follow the whole group and spend certain time at one spot. It makes travelling like a task. People could not stay longer at somewhere they prefer and could not leave immediately at somewhere they find nothing interesting. Some time-tables are so brutal (I'm not sure if this is the word you want to use, though it does fit to some extent. I suggest 'demanding') that travellers have to rush from spot to spot, and they have to spend most of the time on buses or trains. This ignores individual differences and could consequently lead to an unpleasant trip. (这段写得非常好，同时是段首点题也可以的一个好例子)

Tour guides and group trips do have some positive influences. Travelling agencies help tourists with procedures of booking travelling tickets and hotels, even (不是很确定为什么用even，旅游公司能拿到的价钱一般都是便宜的) at less expensive prices. Tour guides could prevent (这个词用这里不是很合适，可以用guard)those new comers from loosing their ways and make the trip relatively safer by group travelling.

However, in comparison, this form of travelling form excludes some ease and comfort that ought to be the purpose of travelling. As a result, it brings more drawbacks than benefits ,so it is by no means an ideal way of travelling.

总结：

这篇文章词汇语法还有组织方面都已经很好 :) 再稍微注意下随时紧密地联系题目(托福作文就是这么八股的) 就会非常完美 :) 另外关于词汇的准确度问题：一般母语非英语的学生一旦全面地学会用某个高深词汇，反而不太会用错，因为那种词一般意思很明确很特定，只能用在一两个场景上，反而是普通的常用的大众词汇容易用不好，因为什么地方都可以凑，很容易什么地方就都差那么一点点。今天俺想起了福楼拜教导莫泊桑的话: "我们无论描写什么事物，要说明它，只有一个名词；要赋予它运动，只有一个动词；要区别它的性质，只有一个形容词。我们必须不断地推敲，直到获得这个名词、动词、形容词为止。不能老是满足于差不多，不能逃避困难，用类似的语句去敷衍了事。" 当然这很夸张，不过可以作为词汇使用的终极理想目标来追求。。~~

Vicky2015UID：2509133

:loveliness: LS关于选词的话说的好有道理啊。我以前都没有想到。谢谢指点。我会继续努力~！