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[活动] COMEON作文小组------jackallen0714 11月3日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-11-3 22:48:52 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

第一次限时写,句式、用词、例子叫一个幼稚啊……
放到word里还一大堆错误……

11月3日
Teacher's ability to relate well with the students is more important than knowing the subject well.(2006 年2 月3 日)


Education always hold a high position in any culture because it is a life-long process. As the centre part of education, the capability of the teacher become the most concern of the society. Many people argue that teacher's ability to get along with students is more significant than their teaching ability. As far as I am concerned, I can hardly agree with their opinion.

Firstly, the status of teacher determines their responsibility. It is common sense that school is the place where students learn knowledges and skills. As a teacher, their responsibility is supposed to be delivering knowledges as well as encouraging students to think, decide and attempt. If they forget about their responsibility and mistakenly put the relationship in the first place, it will be far from the purpose of education. In other words, teaching should always be the most important matter for any teacher.

Moreover, the ability to give excellent lesson actually contribute to shape a pleasing relationship. If the teacher can tell the complex knowledge in an easy manner, students would be more interested in the lesson and more willing to accept the teacher as a member of their group. For example,my English teacher is a man who can always make his lesson absorbing and compelling. We all love his lesson and he become the most popular people in our school.

Admittedly,the ability to relate well with others is of extreme importance for any relationship. However, agreeable relationship between teacher and students do not necessarily lead to better learning. All too often, a teacher perform terrible at teaching have to offer some advantages to students in order to keep their relationship , such as less homework or allowing mistake. Such behavior is absolutely unacceptable and harmful to the study of students.

I believe that the best solution is to combine these two merits together.That is the ability to shape agreeable atmosphere while perform perfect teaching.
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发表于 2008-11-4 00:19:32 |只看该作者

cleanwater25的批改

Education always hold(enjoys更好) a high position in any culture because it is a life-long process(这个我觉得说的不够明确,我想你要表达的意思应该是教育对于一个人的影响是一辈子的。所以我觉得这么说好些:because it can exert impact on persons throughout their lives. ). As the centre(central) part of education, the capability of the(a) teacher become(becomes) the most concern(focus) of the(a) society. Many people argue that teacher's ability to get along with students is more significant than their teaching ability. As far as I am concerned, I can hardly agree with their opinion.

Firstly, the status of teacher determines their responsibility(这一句是观点吗?我觉得应该说老师的第一责任应该是teaching). It is common sense that school is the place where students learn knowledges(它是不可数名词) and skills. As a teacher, their responsibility is(后面说了那么多责任,这里就应该是复数了。responsibilities are) supposed to be delivering(搭配有误,应该用imparting) knowledges as well as encouraging students to think, decide and attempt. If they forget about their responsibility and mistakenl  put the relationship in the first place, it will be far from the purpose of education. In other words, teaching should always be the most important matter for any teacher.

Moreover, the ability to give excellent lesson actually contribute(单三contributes) to shape(set up,shape多用于性格的塑造) a pleasing relationship. If the teacher can tell the complex knowledge in an easy manner, students would be more interested in the lesson and more willing to accept the teacher as a member of their group. For example,my English teacher is a man who can always make his lesson absorbing and compelling. We all love his lesson and he become the most popular people in our school.

签证|TOEFL|GRETN'knKu        S
Admittedly,the ability to relate well with others is of extreme importance for any relationship. However, agreeable relationship between teacher and students do not necessarily lead to better learning. All too often, a teacher perform terrible at teaching have to offer some advantages(inappropriate and toxic permission,你用的那个词是优点的意思,这个好处的意思不是这个词能给出来的。有点chinglish了。) to students in order to keep their relationship , such as less homework or allowing mistake. Such behavior is absolutely unacceptable and harmful to the study of students.bbs.gter.neto!v;v"po@

I believe that the best solution is to combine these two merits together.That is the ability to shape agreeable atmosphere while perform perfect teaching.

文章总体说来,第一段肯定了teaching不可撼动的第一重要性的地位,第二段说了好的teaching自然可以形成好的关系,第三段说如果关系放在第一位会产生的负面影响,最后总结了解决方案。但是题目说的是两个哪个更重要。我觉得你应该分别强调一下。比如第二段可以补上一句(好的teaching能赢得学生的好感进而形成好的关系),但是好的关系却换不来好的teaching。第三段也可以补上一句,没有好的teaching作为前提的好关系往往是有害的。

不知道这个批改你觉得怎么样?


[ 本帖最后由 cleanwater25 于 2008-11-4 00:21 编辑 ]

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板凳
发表于 2008-11-4 01:01:47 |只看该作者
相当感动!

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RE: COMEON作文小组------jackallen0714 11月3日作业 [修改]

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