ARGUMENT65-[FF小组]-第二次作业

caomoqianqianUID: 2542112

Argument65.The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses." 很多年来我们的所有连锁店都储备了很多种类的国产奶酪和进口奶酪。然而去年，我们的最新店里五种销量最高的奶酪都是威斯康星出产的cheddar奶酪。而且，最近一次由Cheese of the World杂志所举行的调查显示，其订阅者对于国产奶酪的倾向性越来越高。由于我们公司可以通过限制库存来减少开支，在我们所有连锁店增加盈利的最好方式就是停止贮备很多进口奶酪而主要集中于国产奶酪。

正文：word:414
Prior to accept the assertion that the best way to improve profits in all of cheese stores is to discontinue stocking imported cheese while concentrate on domestic cheeses, the reasons and evidences giving by the memo require an in-depth scrutiny from several aspects. By doing so, I find the arguer have unduly relied on a series of illogical reasoning without sufficient survey and analysis, and draw a conclusion that is certainly unconvincing.

First of all, the sale in the newest store cannot represent the gross sale of all the stores in their chain. The arguer fails to take into account that diverse stores have various groups of consumers, who determine the kind of best-selling cheeses. Hence it is highly possible that just the consumers of the newest store prefer to domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Maybe in other store, the imported cheeses sell quite well. We have no evidence to be acquainted with the best-selling cheeses of all the stores. Furthermore, only one kind of cheese from Wisconsin cannot stand for the sale of miscellaneous kinds of domestic cheeses. The arguer ignores to analyze the sale of other kinds of domestic cheeses.

Secondly, the survey given by the magazine lacks validity and therefore could not lend strong support to the arguer’s claim. The participants of the survey are said to be subscribers of the magazine but are not the consumers going to buy their cheeses. Their preference doesn’t directly influence the sell amount as well. Provided that the participants of the survey represent the mass of cheese buyers, it can strongly support the claim that the domestic cheeses are more welcome.

Thirdly, even if all the evidence can prove the domestic cheeses sell better and become more popular, it is hard to conclude as the arguer does that the best way to improve profits in all of cheese stores is to discontinue stocking imported cheeses. Because there is no evidence to show the profit-comparison between imported and domestic cheeses. Although we accept the domestic cheeses sell better than imported ones do, the profits of the imported cheeses might be much more than the domestic cheeses because of cost and price. Consequently, before they find the best way to improve profits, the concrete comparison of profits must be done.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to what the arguer claims. To strengthen the argument, more concrete and substantial analysis should be offered to solidify.   

槲寄生UID: 2429308

Prior to accept the assertion that the best way to improve profits in all of cheese stores is to discontinue stocking imported cheese while concentrate on domestic cheeses, the reasons and evidences giving by the memo require an in-depth scrutiny from several aspects. By doing so, I find the arguer have unduly relied on a series of illogical reasoning without sufficient survey and analysis, and draw a conclusion that is certainly unconvincing.
开头不错：）。但是如果更有针对性就好了，这样的开头其实是放在任何argument里都能用的。

First of all, the sale (sales figure) in the newest store cannot represent the gross sales of (?) all the stores in their chain（在google上没找到这种表达，their other chain store? ）. The arguer fails to take into account that diverse stores have various groups of consumers (consumer communities), who determine the kind of best-selling cheeses. Hence it is highly possible that just the consumers of the newest store prefer to domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Maybe in other stores, the imported cheeses sell quite well. We have no evidence to be acquainted with the best-selling cheeses of all the stores. (The memo does not provide any information about the best-selling…这样的句式更客观一些吧)Furthermore, only one kind of cheese from Wisconsin cannot stand for the sale of miscellaneous kinds of domestic cheeses（材料里可是说的five best-selling cheeses啊，是不是应该说只考虑了Wuscisin公司的cheese，没考虑其他公司的？~~~就是下边这句哈！）. The arguer ignores to analyze the sale of other kinds of domestic cheeses.

Secondly, the survey given by the magazine lacks validity (is vague) and therefore could not lend strong support to the arguer’s claim. The participants in the survey are said to be(将会是杂志的订阅者？) Subscribers of the magazine but are not the consumers going to buy their cheeses. (不懂) Their preference doesn’t directly influence(reflect?) the sell amount(all consumers) as well(我是不是把意思理解错了？). Provided that the participants of the survey represent the mass of cheese buyers, it can strongly support the claim that the domestic cheeses are more welcome. (Unless…  or  …as far as… 的句型更有说服力)

Thirdly, even if all the evidence can prove the domestic cheeses sell better and become more popular, it is hard to conclude as the arguer does（不要） that the best way to improve profits in all of cheese stores is to discontinue stocking imported cheeses. Because there is no evidence to show the profit-comparison between imported and domestic cheeses. Although we accept the domestic cheeses sell better than imported ones do, the profits of the imported cheeses might be much higher than the domestic cheeses because of cost and price. Consequently, before they find the best way to improve profits, the concrete comparison of profits must be done.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to what the arguer claims. To strengthen the argument, more concrete and substantial analysis should be offered to solidify. (是不是模板啊？呵呵)  


总的来说不错，思路清晰
分别针对1.five best well-selling in newset store
      2. survey
      3. cost & profit
进行攻击。
开头和结尾模板的味道有点重
至于中间几段，我不知道自己算不算是鸡蛋里挑骨头啊
尽力怕了，但自己水平有限，说错的地方多多包涵哈
:call:

caomoqianqianUID: 2542112

感谢蜗牛同学的意见！