【Dark-Tournament】.new_dromedary.写作.TASK

new_dromedaryUID: 2568083

大家狠拍吧，知道自己写的恶心，不过还是费了一个小时写的，两年后的第一篇习作。。。
个人写作过程：感觉真是语言词汇，语法都要加强啊。。。发上来的时候本来想用协作软件来自己改一下的，不过我装的软件好像不能用。。。所以大家见谅了
本来想在里面举一个书中自有黄金屋的例子做开头，但是不会说。。。‘；sigh~~:o

People from all over the world take that they should attend college or university for granted . Take  China for example , university education is of the highest importance for many Chinese students. They study very hard just for getting the school admission. while the reasons about attending college and university  may be different .In my view , There are two reasons to explain this phenomenon that people attend college or university.

Fristly, getting a good education means that one can have more opportunity to find a good job, the company manage needs someone who knows more and can do more work than the common one. And they always take the educational degree for the standard.

Secondly , education can increase one’s knowledge . Not only can university education broaden one’s scope of knowledge through a great quantity of practices, but also can deepen one’s thought through absorbed focusing on a specific issue.

Of course ,there ,I think, are many other reasons that why people should receive the education  in the college or university. To sum up ,It’s very essential that people attend college or university.

[ 本帖最后由 new_dromedary 于 2008-11-11 21:26 编辑 ]

saavedroUID: 2423190

这个字数是不是太少了点？？？  貌似四级作文

new_dromedaryUID: 2568083

恩，我写完了也觉得字数太少了，这几天打算先看下OG和人家的范文，过几天在补充下，发上来:handshake
谢谢saavedro 版主提醒:) ~~

new_dromedaryUID: 2568083

Some students like classes where teachers lecture (do all of the talking) in class. Other students prefer classes where the students do some of the talking. Which type of class do you prefer? Give specific reasons and details to support your choice


In the class,teachers usually educate us in two ways. Some of the teacher usually does all of the talking in class,while the other teacher wants the students talking sometimes.If I have an opportunity to choose the type of the class,I,as a student,prefer comunicating with the teacher and other students in the class.   There are specific reasons.

The most important thing that the student should learn in the class is how to thinking. If a teacher encourage the students to express their thoughts,this action can help the students  thinking by themselves.meanwhile, students speaking in the class can aslo learn how to   express their opinions clearly in the public place.Perhaps someone think that expressing in the public place is nonsense,however,a great number of students are indeed nervous of     talking in the public and cannot express themselves' thinking clearly.

Secondly,talking in the class is some kind of communication,this kind of communication    can help the students and the teachers know each other very well.The teacher can know   whether the students understand the lecture well through their conversing and the students can also learn the lecture better by thinking.

Besides,from some student’s speaking,the other students may learn more different  opinions. There is an old saying that different people have different opinions.Learning  other people’s different thoughts can broaden our sight.

As the reasons I mention above, the classes that the students doing some of the talking  can help the students learn how to be thinking ,how to expression in the public and   communication with the other people,meanwhile can benefit students learn from other people.There are the reasons why I prefer the second type of the class.

[ 本帖最后由 new_dromedary 于 2008-11-11 22:35 编辑 ]

emmazhao777UID: 2111862

Passage2:
------If a teacher encourage the students to express their thought,this action can help the students thinking by themselves.
( If I were u , I may write this way:
If a teacher encourage students to express their thougts, students may forced to thinking more independtly?
I do not know how to put it, but what u write seems a litttle wired in that way.... :)

meanwhile, students speaking in the class can aslo learn how to express their opinions clearly in the public place.Perhaps someone think that expressing in the public place is nonsense,however,a great number of students are indeed nervous of  talking in the public and cannot express themselves' thinking clearly. ( may be, u can have a litttle development here, like: students use such class-talking as the pratice of publich speaking, and their public speaking skills could be enhanced concequently...)

any way,  nice work,, keep going.

new_dromedaryUID: 2568083

先谢谢emmazhao777了:)
If a teacher encourage students to express their thougts, students may forced to thinking more independtly?
这句话的确就是我想要表达的，但我就是没有想到这个表达方法
汗~~~
现在再读一遍我的文章，感觉连词用的有些怪异~~
恩，看来我还要继续努力啊~~:loveliness:

mpromanusUID: 2565872

看到你说第一篇会再修改，就先改第二篇了。

In the class,teachers usually educate us in two ways. Some of the teachers usually does all of the talking in class,while the other teachers wants the students to talking sometimes. If I have an opportunity to choose the type of the class, I, as a student, prefer comunicating with the teacher and other students in the class (so which type exactly is it? 你并没有建立任何students talk in class和communicate with the teacher and other students in class之间的直接联系，更何况communicating完全可以是不用talk的..). There are specific reasons.

The most important thing that the student should learn in the class is how to thinking. If a teacher encourages the students to express their thoughts,this action he can help motivate the students to thinking by themselves (强调下，不要在句子中间作不恰当的主语转换。中文这么说都是有点别扭的: 如果老师鼓励学生表达自己的意见，这种行为可以帮助学生自己思考. 英文的句子结构法是需要练到烂熟的基础语法，请好好用心复习). Meanwhile, students speaking in the class can aslo learn how to   express their opinions clearly in the public place.Perhaps someone thinks that expressing opinions? in the public place is nonsense (why would that 'someone' think so?), however, a great number of students are indeed nervous of talking in the public and cannot express themselves' their thinking clearly (明显中文直翻痕迹，请小心).

Secondly, talking in the class is some kind of communication. This kind of communication can help the students and the teachers know each other very well.The teacher can know  whether the students understand the lecture well through their conversations and the students can also learn the lecture better by thinking (I thought we are talking about 'talking'. One can easily think without talking, or talk without thinking, so I don't see what's the word 'thinking' doing here.).

Besides, from some students’s speaking,the other students may learn about more different opinions. There is an old saying that different people have different opinions (That doesn't look wise enough to be a saying. Don't randomly invent a quote, because it's easier to spot than you might think).Learning about other peoples’s different thoughts can broaden our sights.

As For the reasons I mention above, the classes that the students doing some of the talking  can help the students learn how to be thinking ,how to expression opinions in the public and communicate with the other people,meanwhile can benefit students learn from other people (You totally lost me here. I think you meant to say something like'...communicate with other people and learn from them'. 如果你发现这句话太长，直接拆句，不要勉强长句).There are the reasons why I prefer the second type of the class.

总结：

1. 一万年不变的基本问题两个：单复数大乱斗；定冠词the滥用。改过的文章十之八九都有这两个问题。单复数需要写作时有高度的警觉，冠词的问题就纯粹是语法基本功，请认真研读。这样的小细节正是让人一眼看出作者母语不是英语的法门所在。

2. 你在最后一段总结的三个点并不是你文章中每一段一个点的那三个点。你总结的第一第二两点是文中第二段，总结的第三点是文中的倒数第二段，中间一段论述的论点communication can help students and teachers know each other well完全被总结无视掉~~请注意。

[ 本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2008-11-12 23:33 编辑 ]