11.15考试作文求狠拍！万分感谢！

小浩骂架UID：2570313

Because the modern life is very complex, the young people should plan or organize.


A well organized plan will make anything in control. In our daily life, we often face a lot of things to do and we always have no ideas about how to deal with them properly. As the modern life becomes more and more complex, we are about to treat more things together at a time.  The more things we face, the better plan we should organize. So, in my view, it is extremely necessary for our young people to plan or organize.


First of all, as I said below, a plan can help you get everything well arranged. For instance, If the final examination is very near, you are need to review all the knowledge points you learned in this term, but you still have an important experiment need to complete. At that time, you cannot do both reviewing and doing experiment well without an appropriate plan. While you are reviewing the knowledge, you cannot help but thinking about the experiment. But once you organized a plan for these days, you can know when to prepare for the final test and when to do the experiment. That will do accelerate both of their process.


Secondly, it will make you have a good habit for your future work. After graduating from university and becoming an employee of a company, you always need to finish a lot of work in a very short time. If we do not have the habit that make a plan or organize for these work, we may not complete these work on time or even lose our work.

Thirdly, to have a plan will give others a good imagine and may help you someday. Try to imagine, if your future boss see you are doing your work with a well organized plan, he will get very pleasant and may keep you in his/her mind. So it will be a huge opportunity to have some better position in your future work.


According to the views listed below, from both present and future, it is really important and necessary for our young to plan or organize well. It will help you not only to your study, but also to your future career!

Word Count: 363

非常感谢！！:handshake

mpromanusUID：2565872

A well organized plan will make help to keep (I know 'make' is an almost omnipotent word, but that doesn't make it the perfect word everywhere) anything in control. In our daily life, we often face have (if you insist on using 'face', you need to say 'we are often faced with...') a lot of things to do and we always have no ideas about how to deal with them properly. As the modern life becomes more and more complex, we are about expected to treat engage more things together at a one time.  The more things we are faced with (see the previous comment about 'face'), the better plan we should organize (你把这句话用正常的顺序念一遍就知道哪里有问题了。。We are faced with more things - we should organize better plan. See the problem? 用这个方法可以确保用这个句型不出问题. 顺便再提一句，plan不是用organize来搭配的, you can make a plan and organize your daily routines according to the plan, but you don't 'organize a plan'. You can organize without a plan; you can be disorganized with a plan.). So, in my view, it is extremely necessary for our young people to plan or organize.

First of all, as I said below （!!! you're asking your examiner to look at things that you 'said' but actually you wrote what you 'said' after you said 'said'. wow.), a plan can help you get everything well arranged. For instance, If the final examination is very near, you are need to review all the knowledge points you learned in this term, but you still have an important experiment need to complete. At that time, you cannot do both the reviewing and doing the experiment well without an appropriate plan: (如果这里是句号，你下面一句话和前面这句话之间的逻辑联系就完全没有了) While you are reviewing the knowledge, you cannot help but thinking about the experiment. But (发现每次改一篇作文都会需要至少说一次: formal writing不要用and, but, so起句子，改用furthermore, however, therefore。。) once you organized a plan for these days （again,see my previous comment about 'organize a plan'. Organize和plan是两回事), you can know when to prepare for the final test and when to do the experiment. That will do accelerate both of their process.

Secondly, it will make you have a good habit (俺实在开始有些厌烦这种句法了。。just say 'planning and organizing will make good habits'. 你已经在后面点出人物是you，前面不需要重复说，而且不需要用make someone have something这种很拗口的句式说) for your future work. After graduating from university and becoming an employee of a company, you always need to finish a lot of work in a very short time. If we do not have the habit that to make a plan for or organize for these our work, we may not complete these our work on time or even lose our work ('work' is a tricky word. don't try to quantify it).

Thirdly,to having a plan will gives others a good imagine and may help you someday. Try to Imagine, if that if your future boss sees you are doing your work with a well organized plan, he will get very pleased and may keep you in his/her mind impressed. So (see previous comment about how formal writing should not start sentences with 'and', 'but' or 'so') it will be an excellent huge opportunity to have some better position get promoted in your future work.

According to the views listed below (are you sure your points are 'below'?), from for both the present and the future (整个for...的部分应该移到这句的句尾。现在这种写法是典型的中文句序), it is really important and necessary for our young to plan or organize well. It will help you （we are talking about 'our young', not 'you') not only to in your studies, but also to in your future career. (议论文一般不需要这么强烈的标点符号，会显得很孩子气)

总结:

逻辑方面尚可，主要的问题是句子表达方式。有比较明显的中文化倾向，拗口，不简洁。对于比较高级的句式的把握比较弱，建议先练习好基本的句法再尝试高级句式。

小浩骂架UID：2570313

太感谢你了！非常感谢！！我就喜欢这种很拍！！很实在的板砖！！
希望今后也能经常获得你的建议！:handshake 再次感谢！