作业，求拍

sandraluyiUID: 2550938

"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

It is true that people succeed because of hard work, but not only because of hard work. Many other factors contribute to one's achievement.

First, it almost goes without saying that one need to work hard to get succeed. Not all of the brilliant people turn out to be successful, respectable or famous, as only a small proportion of them are willing to and able to work hard. However, it does not means that hard work is the only factor that lead to success and personal achievement. Some other factors need to be taken into account, including talent, opportunity, and also, luck.

Talent is one of the key factors that contribute to one's success. A man lack of gifts can barely succeed even if he works hard enough, as he may always fail to understand the core issue, i.e. the point, while he keeps hitting around the bush. The pathetic story tells us that hard work does not make up for the lack of talent.

Opportunity is important to one's success. Opportunity is the key to open a door.  A talented and hard-working man may still fail to accomplish his goal for lack of opportunities. For example, sometimes we say that some one is fortunate since he was known by a wise boss who appreciated his abilities, respected his working style, and gave him a promotion. That is what we call an opportunity, which is a crucial factor determining one's accomplishment.

Moreover, luck is also a critical point. Although some may disagree to this, I do believe that good luck is also one of the key factors affacting one's success or failure. We constantly find people of similar capabilities, equal efforts of work, and under like circumstances, do not always have the same endings. Why is that happening, the answer is simply because of luck.

Success comes to you only when you achieved or obtained all the factors stated above, i.e. hard work, talent, opportunity and good luck!

mpromanusUID: 2565872

It is true that people succeed because of hard work, but not only because of hard work. Many other factors contribute to one's achievement. (作文题目是个问题，所以你需要在第一段正面回答这个问题: I don't agree with the quotation. 然后再说你自己的东西: I believe many other factors contribute to one's achievement. 不然就会给人一直顾左右而不切题的感觉)

First, it almost goes without saying that one need to work hard to get succeed. Not all of the brilliant people turn out to be successful, respectable or famous, as only a small proportion of them are willing to and able to work hard. However, it does not means that hard work is the only factor that lead to success and personal achievement. Some other factors need to be taken into account, including talent,opportunity, and also, luck.(通常否定论证不会用在开头，而是用在结尾，即经典 双正一反 论证. 而且题目已经很明确地提出了想让你和work hard进行对比讨论的是luck，不需要花整整一段来重复问题已经指明的东西)

Talent is one of the key factors that contribute to one's success. A man lacking of gifts can barely succeed even if he works hard enough, as he may always fail to understand the core issue, i.e. the point, while he keeps hitting around the bush. The pathetic story tells us that hard work does not make up for the lack of talent. (Again, the question already hints you to contrast 'work hard' with 'luck' as it specifically points out 'luck' in the 2nd sentence of the quote. If the quote only had the first sentence, you're free to talk about talent as a single point, but as this question is very specific, 'talent' can at most be a supportive argument, and definitely not a standing point on its own.)

Opportunity is important to one's success. Opportunity is the key to open a door.  A talented and hard-working man may still fail to accomplish his goal for lack of opportunities. For example, sometimes we say that someone is fortunate since he was known by a wise boss who appreciated his abilities, respected his working style, and gave him a promotion. That is what we call an opportunity, which is a crucial factor determining one's accomplishment.

Moreover, luck is also a critical point. Although some may disagree to this, I do believe that good luck is also one of the key factors affecting one's success or failure. We constantly find people of who have similar capabilities, put equal efforts of in work, and go under like circumstances, do not always have the same endings. Why is that happening? the answer is simply because of luck. (It's hard to see how opportunity and luck are different from the discussions you've presented here.)

Success comes to you only when you achieved or obtained all the factors stated above, i.e. hard work, talent, opportunity and good luck! (If you put the question and this paragraph together, I think you'll immediately see how your essay has deviated from the question. As I've pointed above, the question specifically mentions 'luck' - it means the questions expects you to focus the discussion on the role of luck in success, not on 'which aspects, besides hard work, are essential to one's success.')

总结:

You have great command of language, but you still lack the ability to properly 'read' a question. As I've said in the comments, this question wants you to discuss the role of luck vs. the role of hard work in success - any other aspect you wish to talk about better be brief.

I understand this is a tough question. I also can't help but notice your examples are largely focused on the cooperate world. You need to diversify your examples: soccer matches, the Olympic Games, and generally anything that is highly competitive and unpredictable.


[ 本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2008-11-17 13:56 编辑 ]

yanglinsheepUID: 2493965

题目有两部分组成，一部分是肯定“hard work”，一部分是否定“luck"
楼主disagree的后半部分。。
其实是不是文章就只能而且必须涉及这两部分呢？confused...

mpromanusUID: 2565872

回3楼：这个回复有点晚不过还是希望能够帮你澄清一下。。

如你所说，这个问题的两部分是hard work和luck。所以文章重点需要围绕着这两个部分来展开。不是说只能涉及这两个概念 - 俺的总结里也说了，其他的方面可以谈，但应该先用至少一到两个详细的大段谈完luck vs. hard work的问题，然后再集合各个‘其他方面’在一段里，简单地说一下。这是一个论点的重要性顺序问题，题目里特别指出的东西需要先谈、详谈，其他相关的论点可以谈但不能喧宾夺主。lz的问题主要是在破题之后把题目中没有特别提到的东西先拿了两个出来说，而题目里特别提到的luck放在最后一个论点，这个写法就是有些喧宾夺主了。