红DELTA TEST3作文求批

phyllisyUID：2569048

scientists and artists, who's contributions are the most important?



In my opinion, scientists and artists both make great contributions to the human society. It is hard to judge which of them have made the most importand contribution, because their contributions are made in different aspects of the human society, and they compensate each other. So, I'd like to say that I think scientists and artists equal contribution to society.

The contribution of artists are mainly in stimulating people's intellegence. At the very beginning of our culture, we could find many artistic forms such as music, dancing, drawing, etc. This indicates that art is essential in culture. Artists are always those in the center of trend. They influence people's thoughts, which determines how the society would be. Take Renasisence as an example. At that time, peole lead a miserable life under the leadership of church. It is the artist who expressed their opinions in their artworks, such as paitings and literature works, to express their ideas, to revel the truthes, to refute these in power, and to cheer up those in disadvantage. If it was not for their efforts to change the thought of the society, we would never know what the Europe will be like today.

However, the main contribution of scientists are improving the productivity of our society. Nearly everything we use today, say, cars, computers, internet, electricity, are the contribution of the scientists.Without scientists, there would be no industrial evolutions, and we would still living in the agricultural society. We would have no machines to help us harvest the crops, no vechles to make us cover the distances, and we could not even work and study at night, for there would be no electricity. And we would have no access to communicate with those who are not near us. We would never make phone calls, sent e-mails, or even send telegraphs. We could never be able to live today's life, but for the great contributions made by the scientists.

So, our mordern society has the contribution of both scientists and artists. Take building a house as an example. First, we need an engineer to make the plans. And then, we need artists and archtects to design the building. And then, we go back to the engineers again and use the mordern technology to build the house. Without the artist, the house would never be designed. And without the advanced technology, it is impossible to build the house. This example well illustrates how artists' and scientists' contributions are combined to function in society.

So, I'd say, the contribution of both artists and scientists are important. We could not leave well without either of them.

mpromanusUID：2565872

In my opinion, scientists and artists both make great contributions to the human society. It is hard to judge which of them have made the most important contributions, because their contributions are made in different aspects of the human society, and they compensate each other. So (正式写作请避免用and, but或者so来开始一个句子), I'd like to say that I think scientists and artists make equally important contributions to the society.

The contributions of artists are mainly in stimulating people's intellegence. At the very beginning (I suggest 'primitive stage') of our culture, we could find many artistic forms such as music, dancing, drawing, etc. This indicates that art is essential in culture. Artists are always those in the center of trends. They influence people's thoughts, which determines how the society would be. Take the Renaisisance as an example: at that time, peole used to lead a miserable life under the leadership of the church. It is the artists who expressed their opinions in their artworks, such as paitings and literature works, to express their ideas (跟前面重复), to reveal the truthes, to refute those in power, and to cheer up those in the disadvantaged (although I'd suggest 'the less privileged'). If it was not for their efforts to change the thoughts of the society, we would never know what the Europe will be like today.(技术上来说，你说的这些影响并不完全是艺术本身的作用，而是人文思想humanism的作用..)

However, the main contribution of scientists are is productivity improvment the productivity of in our society. Nearly everything we use today, say, cars, computers, the internet, electricity, are the contributions of the scientists. Without scientists, there would be no industrial evolutions, and we would still living in the an agricultural society. We would have no machines to help us harvest the crops, no vechles to make enable us to cover the distances, and we could not even work and study at night, for there would be no electricity (People lived with candles and similar sorts of lightings and they seemed to be doing okay. The main merit of electrical lighting is not that it gives light, but that it's powerful and safe and the same time). And we would have no access to communication with those who are not near us (People sent messengers and wrote letters. The merit, again, is not in the access, but the speed and spontaneousness of modern communication).  We would never make phone calls, send e-mails, or even send telegraphs. We could never be able to live today's life, but if not for the great contributions made by the scientists. (技术上来说，你举的这些例子都不是 科学，而是 发明..)

So, our mordern society has the contributions of from both scientists and artists. Take building a house as an example. First, we need an engineer to make the plans. And then, we need artists and architects to design the building. And then (and then是典型口语化用词。用then就好), we go back to the engineers again and use the mordern technology to build the house. Without the artist, the house would never be designed. And without the advanced technology, it is impossible to build the house. This example well illustrates how artists' and scientists' contributions are combined to function in the society.

So In conclusion, I'd say, the contribution of both artists and scientists are important. We could not live well without either of them.

总结:

这个题目的作文改了很多篇，几乎所有的人都一致选择骑墙，但是几乎所有的人都不能拿出让人很信服的论证 - 就你的例子来说的话，文艺复兴实在不仅仅是艺术的事情，而是欧洲宗教、人文思潮、艺术还有科学思考方法的一次全面改革。这样读者就会问，okay，你说服我了，我现在知道艺术的贡献很好，但文艺复兴时期科学对人思考方式的影响也很大呀，所以到底哪一个最重要呢？你也并没有确切地回答这个问题。换一个说法，题目问‘A和B哪个大’，你的论点是‘A和B一样大’，然后证明A很大，B也很大，最后是A和B都很大。。如果你的论点里没有equally这个字的话那么完全没有问题，但是你写了这个字下去，所以读者自然会期望看到一些比较。

这个题目的主论点在于the most important，潜台词是希望你compare and contrast题目中的 科学家的贡献 和 艺术家的贡献。骑墙不是不可以，但就像俺说过的，做骑墙的论证你要很小心自己的用字，所以有时还不如就跟着题目一边倒比较安全。这个题目不是要你论证谁的贡献的绝对大小，而是比较，比如还用你的文艺复兴做例子，你只说 当时艺术很大地改变了人的思想方式，这是一个绝对大小的论证；如果你接着说 当时的科学进步也的确改变人的思想，但是当时科学还不是很老百姓的概念，所以艺术比科学更加重要因为用艺术比用科学更容易普及新思想，这就是很具体地在比较两方的情况。请记住，如果题目给你指出两个特定的东西，一般是有目的的。。