Romanus的作文修改铺帮忙改哦～～

transformersUID: 2307599

agree否?:Having a job to work with other people is better than having a job to work alone.


Working together or working alone? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that they could choose the working place when they work alone. On the side of the leaf, however, I am convinced that working together is better than alone working. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments that support my claim. The first one has to go on the efficient of work. There is no denying that team working offers employees only do part of the whole project. Such kinds of work style will enable them senior skill after they finish their work several times. As for me, I am a computer engineer, and, in our team, I only write the anti-cheat system of software. My boss once told me that our company is a machine; every employee is one significant part of the system. A survey conduced by Big Bird Committee which is famous for collect company data, indicates that more than 80 present successful companies is mixed by more than 100 employees.

In addition, why are so many people are fond of working together is that team working offers them the experience and knowledge which is not available in the individual working. For one thing, it is universally acknowledge that every team member could share their experience of the job to the others. Nothing is more significant than obtain career experience. For another, we can not emphasize the significant of team brain storm too much. For instance, the team has more knowledge than individual. They can find some excellent solution which has not shine in our mind.

On the another hand, one argument, also the one I find most compelling against my conclusion, is the individual working could choose the environment of their work place. Although I concede this point, in my observation: the successful team leader should offer convenient work environment for every employee. One needs to look no further than successful companies to find amply evidence that this is the case. Such as the Google, every employee has their own office, and they should choose the color of the wall and buy furniture by themselves.

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, working alone surely provides us the quiet environment, but it tends to only satisfy individual needs of our career. On the fundamental needs of our job, like efficient, experience, are well-met by group work. In the final analysis, so useful of team working that we cannot afford to ignore it. Consequently, working together is significant than alone working.

重点机经里的最可能考的那篇～22号就考了～写完感觉是有点跑题了～～您把语言好好给改改我就背背了～都快考试了～思维是不可能有什么转变了～～只能背几个好句子充门面了～谢谢了～～



[ 本帖最后由 transformers 于 2008-11-18 00:02 编辑 ]

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Working together or working alone? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that they would choose the a working place where they work alone. On the side of the leaf, however, I am convinced that working together is better than alone working alone. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments that support my claim.The first one has to go on the efficiency of work. There is no denying that team employees working in a team offers employees only needs to do part of the whole project. Such kinds of work style will enable them to obtain better senior skills after they finish repeat their work several times.(团队工作也不保证每次你都能做到同样的工作内容啊，每次都做一样的那是流水线..) As for me, I am a computer engineer, and, in our team, I am only write responsible for the anti-cheat system of our software. My boss once told me that our company is a machine; every employee is one significant part of the system. A survey conduced by Big Bird Committee (you invented this 'committee', didn't you?) which is famous for collecting company data, indicates that more than 80 present (不是很确定你想说 超过80个现有的成功的公司 呢 还是 百分之八十80 percent of以上的成功公司..) successful companies is mixed by have teams of more than 100 employees (你想用这调查数据说明什么呢？队伍越大越好？).

In addition, why are so many people are fond of working together is that a team working offers them the experience and knowledge which is not available when they work alonein the individual working. For one thing, it is universally acknowledged that every team member could share their experience of the job to with the others. Nothing is more significant than obtaining career experience. For another, we cannot emphasize the significance of team brain storming too much. For instance, the team has more knowledge than an individual. They can find some excellent solutions which has not shine come to any individual in our mind. (That's usually not the case. 团队的作用不是想出任何队员都想不到的点子，而是大家不断地提高某个或某几个队员提出的点子。最终的方案可能和每个人最初的提案都不完全一样，但绝对不会是没有人想到的东西)

On the another hand, one argument, also the one I find most compelling against my conclusion, is that an individual worker could choose the environment of their his work place. Although I concede this point, in my observation, the a successful team leader should offer a convenient work environment for every employee member. One needs to look no further than successful companies (这例子举了跟没举没有区别嘛..) to find ample evidence that this is the case. Such as the For example, in Google, every employee has their his own office, and they should he can choose the color of the wall and buy his own furniture by themselves. (其实很多很赚钱但是很小的公司也是这样，美国这种小金矿公司很多. 只是Google很用心地把他们的所谓公司文化做成了一个品牌..and, 然后呢？Google给每个员工自由的空间选择和团队合作有什么关系呢？他们还是可以自己干自己的活儿啊. 再退一步，问题是 团队合作的工作和独立工作哪个好，那么一个可以让每个队员自由选择空间的团队对员工和他的工作本身又有什么好处呢？完全没有切紧题目.)

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, working alone surely provides us the with a quiet environment, but it tends to only satisfy individual needs of our career. On the fundamental needs of our job, like efficiency, experience (经验难道不是individual need么?..), are well-met by group work. In the final analysis, so useful of team working is that we cannot afford to ignore it. Consequently, working together is more significant than alone working.

总结:

你的逻辑依然比较弱。论点还是有的，只是论证不够切题 - 切题的意思不是在结尾重复一遍题目就可以了，是在每一段论证的结尾都要切。

句法上很不稳定。请复习基本的介词用法和一些常用的介动词搭配组合，避免写出很中文化的句子。