issue144 [FF小组] by alpsky（拍我者，必回拍！）

alpskyUID: 2438084

声明：拍我者，必回拍！

刚开始写issue，没有限时，写了一个多小时，总算字数上去了
希望大家狂批！

题目：ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not thecritic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels,films, music, paintings, etc.


Besides basic demands, such as food and housing, peoplealways like to appreciate some pieces of art. People go to the museum or theart gallery, where people can find the most great piece of work which evoke thebeauty deep in one's heart and represent the lasting value. Who create it andwho give society something of lasting value, we may wonder---The artist, whouse his or her work and who may not be known in his or her time, yet recognizednowadays.

Artists, usually geniuses, though not political men or commandersof society, are more sensitive and concern much more about their own psychologytowards the society and the environment than ordinary people. They always puttheir views about the society and the world into their work intentionally or unintentionally,which reflects a time's problem and makes lasting value for human beings. Theyare more critical than a critic, and are sometimes much closer to the nature ofproblems. Their views, reflecting from their work always have a significantmeaning and influence many people, especial the following people, who want toknow something about that times.Yongyu Huang, one ofthe most famous artists in China,once said that the artist, being from the society, realizes his value increating the lasting value, which reflects the problem of the society.

The artists create lasting value from their great work,from which we see a lasting beauty. Everyone can create beauty, while only theartists find the way to store beauty, which can not only be seen, but also belistened. Even people from different race, with different language canunderstand them easily. Just imagining in the national gallery, we appreciateone piece of work from a artist in the Tang Dynasty. Two thousand years haspassed, while the beauty can be shared in this modern life. The only way toexplain it is that the beauty, the lasting beauty, which can not be out of fashionor fade back, create the last value. There are various kinds of art withdifferent styles, yet artists struggle for the same aim, the lasting value forsociety.

Acknowledging the value of artist, we cannot ignore thefunction of critics for the society’s lasting value. They contribute to findthe most valuable art in all the works by artists and evaluate them. Maybesometimes they have made the wrong commends to some works, however most timesthey are the judgers who can distinguish the real art work. Without them, it ishighly possible that we do not the real meaning of the work we appreciate. Thenthe value in it can not be understood. Without them, even if there is greatvalue in a work, the society can not benefit from it. So critics play animportant position in introducing the lasting value of artist to the society.

In sum, I agree that it is the artist not the critic,who gives society something of lasting value. Though critics contribute to it,artists are the real creators. And we also hope that critics can be moregenerous to artists, for they sometimes just stifle the talent of some artists,who may be found successfully later.

[ 本帖最后由 alpsky 于 2008-11-23 18:58 编辑 ]

duyuan3377UID: 2415765

Besides basic demands, such as food and housing, people always like to appreciate some pieces of art. People go to the museum or theart(theater拼错了吧) gallery, where people can find the most great piece(s) of work which evoke the beauty deep in one's heart and represent the lasting value. Who create it and who give society something of lasting value, we may wonder---The artist, who use(uses) his or her work and who may not be known in his or her time, yet recognized nowadays.
*这段作为开题，观点够清楚，但单复数和人称用的有点乱~~

Artists, usually geniuses, though not political men or commanders of society, are more sensitive and concern much more about their own psychology towards the society and the environment than ordinary people. They always put their views about the society and the world into their work intentionally or unintentionally, which reflects a time's problem and makes lasting value for human beings. They are more critical than a critic, and are sometimes much closer to the nature of problems. Their views, reflecting from their work always have a significant meaning and influence(influencing) many people, especial(especially) the following people, who want to know something about that times.Yongyu Huang, one of the most famous artists in China,once said that the artist, being from the society, realizes his value in creating the lasting value, which reflects the problem of the society.
*artist的特质以及他们的作用；

The artists create lasting value from their great work,from which we see a lasting beauty. Everyone can create beauty, while only theartists find the way to store beauty, which can not only be seen, but also belistened. Even people from different race（races）, with different language（languages） can understand them easily. Just imagining in the national gallery, we appreciate one piece of work from a artist in the Tang Dynasty. Two thousand years has passed, while the beauty can be shared in this modern life. The only way to explain it is that the beauty, the lasting beauty, which can not be out of fashion or fade back, create the last value. There are various kinds of art with different styles, yet artists struggle for the same aim, the lasting value for society.
*artist创造了lasting value，这也是artist存在的意义；

Acknowledging the value of artist, we cannot ignore the function of critics for the society’s lasting value. They contribute to find the most valuable art in all the works by artists and evaluate them. Maybe sometimes they have made the wrong commends to some works, however most timesthey are the judgers who can distinguish the real art work. Without them, it ishighly possible that we do not the real meaning of the work we appreciate. Thenthe value in it can not be understood. Without them, even if there is greatvalue in a work, the society can not benefit from it. So critics play animportant position in introducing the lasting value of artist to the society.
*让步说说critic；

In sum, I agree that it is the artist not the critic,who gives society something of lasting value. Though critics contribute to it,artists are the real creators. And we also hope that critics can be more generous to artists, for they sometimes just stifle the talent of some artists,who may be found successfully later.（这个点，我觉得很漂亮，甚至可以作为主要段落去发展，但generous 的用词又值得商榷，总感觉generous并不是指的宽容，tolerant,broad-minded,open-minded更好点，不知道你是不是要表达这个意思）

*【批注说明】有改动或我觉得有问题的地方用红色标出，文章中我认为好的句子用蓝色标出，评注也使用蓝色。

*总的来说，我觉得你的文章写得可以，文章观点鲜明，结构也比较清楚，遣词造句也挺流畅的。
  结尾写的尤其好，我发现自己结尾只会程序化的总结一下了。
  但文章主体段内的逻辑还是显得有点不够严密和紧凑。

*发现你两个单词之间忘记加空格的现象很严重，你写完了以后贴到word里面一条条红红的线就可以看出来了。

*建议你可以写完以后放到word里面检查一下再贴出来，这样1可以让自己稍微总结一下自己总拼错的单词（到最后模考的时候应该会发现自己总是那个几个词打错）2可以减少下批改人的工作量哈。:)


[ 本帖最后由 duyuan3377 于 2008-11-23 16:38 编辑 ]

alpskyUID: 2438084

自己顶起来~

enidzanUID: 2492035

Besides basic demands, such as food and housing, peoplealways like to appreciate some pieces of art. People go to the museum or theart gallery, where people can find the most great piece of work which evoke thebeauty deep in one's heart and represent the lasting value. Who create it andwho give society something of lasting value, we may wonder---The artist, whouse his or her work and who may not be known in his or her time, yet recognizednowadays.我觉得应该在首段更加明确一下论点
Artists, usually geniuses, though not political men or commandersof society, are more sensitive and concern much more about their own psychologytowards the society and the environment than ordinary people. They always puttheir views about the society and the world into their work intentionally or unintentionally,which reflects a time's problem and makes lasting value for human beings. Theyare more critical than a critic, and are sometimes much closer to the nature ofproblems. Their views, reflecting from their work always have a significantmeaning and influence many people, especial the following people, who want toknow something about that times.Yongyu Huang, one ofthe most famous artists in China,once said that the artist, being from the society, realizes his value increating the lasting value, which reflects the problem of the society.例子举的很恰当
The artists create lasting value from their great work,from which we see a lasting beauty. Everyone can create beauty, while only theartists find the way to store beauty, which can not only be seen, but also belistened. Even people from different race, with different language canunderstand them easily. 这句与本段主题不太相关吧Just imagining in the national gallery, we appreciateone piece of work from a artist in the Tang Dynasty. Two thousand years haspassed, while the beauty can be shared in this modern life. The only way toexplain it is that the beauty, the lasting beauty, which can not be out of fashionor fade back, create the last value. There are various kinds of art withdifferent styles, yet artists struggle for the same aim, the lasting value forsociety.
转折不明显Acknowledging the value of artist, we cannot ignore thefunction of critics for the society’s lasting value. They contribute to findthe most valuable art in all the works by artists and evaluate them. Maybesometimes they have made the wrong commends to some works, however most timesthey are the judgers who can distinguish the real art work. Without them, it ishighly possible that we do not the real meaning of the work we appreciate. Thenthe value in it can not be understood. Without them, even if there is greatvalue in a work, the society can not benefit from it. So critics play animportant position in introducing the lasting value of artist to the society.
In sum, I agree that it is the artist not the critic,who gives society something of lasting value. Though critics contribute to it,artists are the real creators. And we also hope that critics can be moregenerous to artists, for they sometimes just stifle the talent of some artists,who may be found successfully later.
文章写的很流畅，语法也不错，值得学习！