COMMEN---作文小组 11.25 作业

jia_11UID: 2512555

11月25日
Agree or disagree with the following statement: it is more important to award students for effort (trying or hard working) than for achievement (good grades)（2006 年6 月24 日）请帮忙看看！！谢谢了！！

The competence in the schoole becomes more and more fircely. Many students,some of which are very hard working while others gain good grades. are supposed to be performing very well. However, the problem of which of them should be awraded and encouraged has a heated debate. In my opinion, it is better to award the students for theri achievment and the reasons are listed as below.

To begin with, people, successful or not, are gennerally judged by their achievements instead of the effort they have made in the society. May be some people consider the opinion is somewhat crule. However, students have to face the fact after finishing school. Thus it is a good idea to encourage stduents to achive other than effort  in school.

Furthermor, award the students who achieve good grades can encorage them to innovate. The students have to think more with their brain instead of working hard without any thinking. So the students may creat some new idea to get good grade while consuming less time. Then the study will be of higher effeciency.

At last, if a student who finishes assignment on time, attedents the class every day and behave active in class is consider to be hard working and awarded, the students may copy others' assignment, attend class without listening to the teacher or taking with nonsense on class. In addition, it is very difficult to judge a person is hard working or not, while the grades are so obvious that everyone can tell which is better.

In conclusion, the student should be encouraged to get good grades. That will help students to innovate and gain great achievements in theri career.

jimibtUID: 2560923

The competence in the schoole becomes more and more fircely. Many students,some of which are very hard working while others gain good grades. are supposed to be performing very well. However, the problem of which of them should be awraded(awarded) and encouraged has a heated debate. In my opinion, it is better to award the students for theri achievment(their achievement) and the reasons are listed as below.

To begin with, people, successful or not, are gennerally(generally) judged by their achievements instead of(短语用的好) the effort they have made in the society. May be some people consider the opinion is somewhat crule. However, students have to face the fact after finishing school. Thus it is a good idea to encourage stduents to achive other than effort  in school.（最好加个例子）

Furthermor（Furthermore）, award the students who achieve good grades can encorage
(encourage) them to innovate. The students have to think more with their brain instead of working hard without any thinking. So the students may creat(create) some new idea to get good grade while consuming less time. Then the study will be of higher effeciency.(这段阐述的理论最好加个例子)

At last, if a student who finishes assignment on time, attedents(attandants) the class every day and behave
active in class is consider to be hard working and awarded, the students may copy others' assignment, attend class without listening to the teacher or taking with nonsense on class(觉得这段中心句似乎太过detail，如果中心句意思改为tend to make some students to bad behavior，然后是for example). In addition, it is very difficult to judge a person is hard working or not, while the grades are so obvious that everyone can tell which is better.(这句话意思与中心句意思不符)

In conclusion, the student should be encouraged to get good grades. That will help students to innovate and gain great achievements in theri（their） career.

总得来说，错别字比较多，每段写的比较短，无例子和具体detail支撑，develop的不够。每段中心句（比如第4段）希望能写的更好一些。

[ 本帖最后由 jimibt 于 2008-11-26 17:23 编辑 ]