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aphasiafifiUID：2475704

topic：  always telling truth is the most important consideration in any relationship

Honesty is an important subject when we evaluation a person. A person lack of frankness is both unreliable and detestable. Although truth seems to be important in most cases, always telling the fact is not crucial in all kinds of relationships. Sometimes it may even hamper the real situation by telling unpleasant truth. So whether always telling truth is really a negotiable question depends on different cases.

  In general, truth is indispensible during our daily life. For individual person, no matter maintain the relationship with family or among friends, a honest person is always welcome. Unlike simply in relation, once we get married, we must be responsible for not only ourselves, but also in charge of the entire family. I firmly believe the most important link between couples is trustiness, by telling truth, couples will solve problems together, maintain a family harmony, which will add confidence toward the marriage. Once the trust gets lost, the marriage relationship will eventually result in bankrupt. If couple cannot trust each other, both the husband and wife will doing things for their own sake, even someone will cheat each other. Hence the relationship will become meaningless.

  Moreover, for bigger relationship like government and people under its administration, truth is even more important. It will enhance the bound between people and government; let people trust the government and willing under its rule. If the government only publicizes that information pleasant to the people, the people will lost their sense of danger and underestimate the real situation, which will lead to a worse result. SARS crisis happened in China is a very typical example. When the disease started occur in Southern provinces like Guangdong, the government concealed the truth by telling people that the situation is under control, which caused people do not pay much attention about the disease, directly lead to its outbreak in the whole nation. If the government would warn people about the detrimental effect the disease may bring and did some prevention methods, the situation will be truly under control, at least not that severe. By the example I list above, we can see how important the truth in our daily life in dealing with some relations.

  Nevertheless, truth is not always welcome. Or in other words, a certain degree of conservation or a goodwill lie is even important than truth. In relationship between merchants and consumer, truth cannot bring benefits to the merchants. Any commercial advertisement will inevitably contain some exaggerated aspect like the smooth and shining effect after using some shampoo. In fact we all know the beautiful appearance in the advertisement is just the promotion effect. If simply showing the true effect, how will people buy their product? Sometimes we may even lie to our beloved ones, but on the good purpose. Truth sometimes is cruel, and the people may not accept all kinds of truth. Some people may not be psychological strong when facing fatal disease like cancer, tell them truth may aggravate their illness and lead to a rapid death. On this occasion, encourage the person by telling lie is helpful to both the medical treatment and the person's overall health condition.

  Although truth is important, there always have some exception. For some relations build on mutually trustiness, telling truth is the only way to maintain the relation. Because when you telling truth, you also receive truth, and the satisfaction of being trust by others cannot be achieve by any other approaches. However, for some special cases, people will accept your lie because you do not mean to say it. No matter which situation people involve in, a positive intention toward any relation is above all.

超了15分钟（自己汗。。真够长的）我的托福处女作
老怕东西说不完
但是结尾觉得写的很垃圾的。。。

请诸位大侠狠拍！我知道我语法很烂 但是自己说不出来什么问题
请大家帮帮我
谢谢！

[ 本帖最后由 aphasiafifi 于 2008-11-30 17:03 编辑 ]

mpromanusUID：2565872

Honesty is an important subject when we evaluate a person. A person lacking of frankness (Frankness和honesty是两回事) is both unreliable and detestable. Although truth seems to be important in most cases, always telling the fact (fact和truth也是两回事..) is not crucial in all kinds of relationships. Sometimes it may even hamper (Not the right word. 'Hamper' means to cut back the progress of something good. 'Situation' is a neutral word so you can't really 'hamper' it. I suggest 'worsen'.) the real situation by telling unpleasant truth (代词失当. 你把这句话拆成两句就明白了. It ...hamper ...situation. It ..tells..unpleasant truth. 说来说去it到底是什么? 从上一句看it似乎是指always telling the fact，但下一句就变成always telling the fact tells unpleasant truth? 请随时检查句法. 怀疑你其实是想说telling unpleasant truth may even hamper the real situation.). So whether always telling the truth is really a negotiable question depends on different cases.

In general, truth is indispensible during our daily lives. For an individual person, no matter (Wrong connective because 'no matter' must be followed by a clause. Should be 'whether') in maintaining the relationship with one's family or among friends, a honest person is always welcome. Unlike simply in a simple relation, once we get married, we must be responsible for not only ourselves, but also in charge of the entire family. I firmly believe the most important link between couples is trustiness (没有这个字。'trust' is already a noun.), (这里要分句，不然后面整段都是跑句run-on sentence) by telling the truth, couples will solve problems together, maintain a harminous family harmony, which will add confidence toward the marriage. Once the trust gets is lost (get lost是某种固定搭配，建议不要乱用), the marriage relationship will eventually result in bankrupt (This is NOT the word to describe a marriage.). If a couple cannot trust each other, both the husband and the wife will doing things for their own sakes, even someone they will even cheat each other. Hence the relationship will become meaningless.

Moreover, for bigger complex relationships like that between a government and the people under its administration, truth is even more important. It will enhance the bound between the people and the government; it will let enable people to trust the government and willing to serve under its ruling (分号分开的必须是完整的句子，不然要用逗号. 分号在英文里也是很高级的标点，如果不确认会用，建议别用.). If the government only publicizes that pleasant information pleasant to the people, the people they will lose their sense of danger and underestimate the real situation, which will lead to a worse (这是比较级，你在跟什么比呢?) result. The SARS crisis happened in China is a very typical example. When the disease started to occur in the Southern provinces like Guangdong, the government concealed the truth by telling people that the situation is under control, which caused people to do not pay much little attention about the disease, directly leading to its outbreak in the whole nation. If the government would warn people about the detrimental effects the disease may bring and did some prevention methods, the situation will be truly under control, at least not that severe. By the example I list (数学上来说，只有一个item的list当然也是list - 但写作文就不一样了，只有一个example远称不上list) above, we can see how important the truth is in our daily lives in dealing with some relations.

Nevertheless, the truth is not always welcome. Or in other words, a certain degree of reservation or a goodwill lie (It's a 'white lie'.) is even more important than the truth. In relationships between merchants and consumers, truth cannot bring benefits to the merchants. Any commercial advertisement will inevitably contain some exaggerated aspects like the smooth and shining effect after using some shampoo. In fact we all know the beautiful appearance in the advertisement is just the promotion effect. If simply showing the true effect (If后面要跟完整的句子，请注意不要写破句), how why will people buy their products? Sometimes we may even lie to our beloved ones, but on for the good purposes. Truth sometimes is sometimes cruel, and the people may not accept all kinds of truth. Some people may not be psychologically strong when facing fatal diseases like cancer, telling them the truth may aggravate their illness and lead to a rapid death. On this occasion, encouraging the person by telling a lie is helpful to both the medical treatments and the person's overall health condition.

Although the truth is important, there always have are some exceptions. For some relations built on mutually trustiness (很好奇..你写这个字的时候真的一点儿诡异的直觉都没有吗?..), telling the truth is the only way to maintain the relation. Because when you telling the truth, you also receive truth, and the satisfaction of being trusted by others cannot be achieved by any other approaches. However, for some special cases, people will accept your lie because you do not mean to say it (这是一个新论点，不应该在总结段里出现.). No matter which situation people are involved in, a positive intention attitude toward any relation is above all.(又是新论点。你在总结你的文章，不是提出你不打算再写下去的东西.)

总结:

1. 细微的小地方的语法问题和词汇的使用..比如the的使用，单复数，动词时态，词性搭配..这些问题说大不大，说小不小 - 你会喜欢读一篇文思卓然但是错字连篇的作文吗？托福考官也不喜欢。让他们心情不好的后果可能就是会让作文评分降一个等级。请注意细节。

2. 句法 - 主要的两个问题，跑句和破句。这个问题只有通过严格长期的训练来解决。

3. 总结段的写法。总结段是用来重申强调你的论点，不能提出你之前文章里没提过的东西。否则对读者的效果就是觉得你文章没写完就草草收掉了。特别强调，不要因为害怕有东西没说完整而在结尾段补 - 如果你干脆不说，没人知道你有东西没说完；你一补，所有的人都知道你还想说这个但是没时间说了。适得其反，过犹不及，想好要写什么就按照计划写，不要贪多，能把你想好要写的写清楚就够可以的了，贪多只会露自己的短。。

[ 本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2008-12-1 17:04 编辑 ]

aphasiafifiUID：2475704

非常感谢 让我认识i到了自己很多问题

还有一个疑虑：比如你给改的这个句子

Truth sometimes is  cruel----Truth is sometimes cruel
由于我语法缺陷我总是搞不清类似于这个的副词的顺序
能不能给我详细解释下……

aphasiafifiUID：2475704

还有关于结尾段儿 那我这样写到HOWEVER前面然后就说，但是在有些方面，一个好的谎言胜过一个坦然的真话就可以了？

[ 本帖最后由 aphasiafifi 于 2008-12-1 18:07 编辑 ]

mpromanusUID：2565872

3楼：表频繁程度的副词用在除了be动词之外的动词前面，如果是be动词的话要用在动词后面。例如 We usually go shopping on Saturdays. She is often late.

4楼：题目是 真话是不是relationship里最*重要*的东西，所以总结段的结论点也应该是 有时候在relationship里谎话比真话更*重要* - 关键字是 重要，而不是 好/不好/胜过/不胜过。缺这么一个关键字，就会造成总结段落和问题没有呼应所以文章好像总写不到点子上的感觉。