自己练习的一篇作文，主要想看看自己的水平在一个什么位置。

acidbaseUID：2451877

CELL PHONE SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO USE IN PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
Whether using cell phone should be allowed in public transportation？
should allow people to use mobile phones while using transportation(buses, trains,        
airplanes)
题目好像是9.6日的IW

自己写作的思路原本是准备用It depends，不过不小心写成了比较两者选其一有偏向，自己觉得最后的结构有些散。不知道这样的作文属于什么档次，离5分的差距有多大差在哪里。

When talking about whether using cell phone should be allowed in public transportation or not, it depends on situations from my point of view. Although common idea states that it is lack of propriety to use mobile telephone, in fact, I believe that such opinion may be not as absolute as some people support.

It is reasonable to forbid using cell phone in some situations. In airplanes, it is impossible to allow the running of cell phone or other electronic instruments. It is a fact that the work of cell phone will ruin the sensitivity of navigation facility and increase the risk of air crash. As a result, it has become a common rule that mobile phone should never be allowed during the flying. In the trains or buses, no body will feel happy if there is a person who take a phone and speak loudly. This action not only disturbs people around, but affects the drivers as well. It must be admitted that using cell phone in public transportation has brought a few problems. This is a truth based which some people appealed the ban of cell phone in common transport.

When it comes back to the other side of main topic, however, I support that there is an unfixed answer. Before taking off or after landing of airplane, I may call or send a message to my family to tell them I am safe. In the buses, I can call for my home to ask about the dinner and have a free and short chat with my classmates or tell my friends my location. When others want to find me, I need to make my cell phone on. As for all the situations I mentioned above, there should have been more by the limit of passage, it is not necessary to make it completely quiet and firmly forbid them.

Even if some people have more radical opinions and decline the use of cell phone in public transportation, they seem idealism. There is lack of ways or cost more to supervise in public. There are also some trains which has expend special spaces to let people use cell phone there.

Actually, it is a problem of scaling social morality. Each person has their own standard, but I believe that cell phone should be allowed with the deadline of consensus; at least, using telephone could not disturb others.

In General, I agree that cell phone should be used in public transportation.

mpromanusUID：2565872

When talking about whether using cell phones should be allowed in public transportation or not, it depends on the different situations from my point of view (Why not just 'I think it depends on...'?). Although common idea states that it is a lack of propriety to use mobile telephone (anywhere?), in fact, I believe that such an opinion may be not as absolute as some people support think (You can't 'support an opinion absolute'. 简单地把句子用正常的语序读一遍其实能发现很多语法问题.).

It is reasonable to forbid use of cell phones in some situations. In airplanes, it is impossible to allow the running of cell phones or other electronic instruments. It is a fact that the work signals of cell phones will ruin (The correct terminology is 'interfere with') the sensitivity of navigation facility and increase the risk of air crashes. As a result, it has become a common rule that use of mobile phones should never be allowed during the flying flight. In the trains or buses, nobody will feel happy if there is a person who takes out a phone and speaks loudly. This action not only disturbs people around, but affects the drivers as well. It must be admitted that using cell phones in public transportation has brought a few problems. This is a truth based on which some people appealed for the ban of cell phones in common public transport (public transport公共交通 是固定搭配.).

When it comes back to the other side of the main topic, however, I support that there is an unfixed (又见间接否定..话说得直接一点儿不好吗？there is no fixed answer.) answer. Before taking off or after landing of airplanes, I may call or send a message to my family to tell them I am safe. In the buses, I can call for my home to ask about the dinner and (你的手机经常同时三方通话?) have a free and short chat with my classmates or tell my friends my location. When others want to find me, I need to make turn my cell phone on. As for all the situations I mentioned above, there should have been more by the limit of passage (没看懂..), it is not necessary to make it completely quiet and firmly forbid them (it和them是指代什么?).

Even if some people have more radical opinions and decline the use of cell phones in public transportation, they seem idealistic. There is a lack of ways or cost more (你把这句话的形式主语填完整再读一遍就知道问题是什么了..there is a lack of ways..there is cost more?) to supervise (supervise what? 不要因为自己知道自己在说什么就假设读者也知道你在说什么..) in public. There are also some trains which has (用with不好吗?..) expend special spaces to let people use cell phones there.

Actually, it is a problem of scaling social morality. Each person has their (这个错误很不应该) own standard, but I believe that cell phones should be allowed with the a deadline (? 什么意思呢? deadline是截止日期的意思..) of consensus; at least, using telephones (telephone和cell phone还是很有区别的. 不要一味追求词汇句式的变化而忽略正确性.) could should not disturb others.

In General, I agree that use of cell phones should be used in public transportation.

总结：

很典型的母语非英语文章，明显的有尝试使用各种词汇和句型的努力但也明显地有心有余而力不足的现象..请至少注意诸如单复数、介词之类的细节..

论点的结构方面，也是典型的想要显示自己思考能力的全面而造成思维过于发散，不能集中于就题论题上，才产生结构越来越松散的现象。不要贪多。问题问什么，你就写什么，一篇3、400字的文章，考官根本也不会期望你头头是道。想太多只会让自己不能集中注意力在更加重要的东西 - 比如正确的用词和语法 - 上面。

honey_sugarUID：2312074

deadline, 应该改成bottom line???