HERCTIC作文小组------jackallen0714 12.4日作文

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

写完后感觉自己很残忍~~

Human has been living in this planet for quite a long time. While animals live even longer than we do. Although human is superior than animals in intelligence, studying and observing animals can still shed some light in better understanding ourselves and the world around us.

A important lesson we can learn from animals is their determination and courage. In order to find another habitat, tiny birds are willing to fly thousands of miles. Sometimes they even have to fly across the ocean without any rest during the travel. Salmon fish that manage to swim back to their birthplaces and spawn there have to fight against hungry bears, dams, fishermen and numerous other obstacles. Small as they are, great resolution and courage they embody. Therefore, when we human beings are in adverse circumstance, we should easily find some consolation from the behavior of animals and gain some strength.

Effective cooperation is what we have been eagerly longing for since our ever-accelerating society urge us to better work together with each other. From research on organization of animals, human can come up with some insightful ideas to better enhance our own efficiency. Studying on social animals such as ants have already bear fruits that can provide a pattern for human to follow. We adopt their effective methods and make them our own, in this manner, our society achieve further advancement and benefit ourselves at the same time.

Moreover, we should feel grateful for all the sacrifices animals make in medical research. We experiment on small animals and develop vaccine for our own sake. These small creatures replace us to suffer the disease and try to represent the cause of the illness to us. Without their assist , people living in contemporary society may still suffer from many diseases. From studying the function of animals, we promote our comprehension of mysterious human body and better protect us from those diseases.

In sum, studying and observing animals are nothing but beneficial for human being. Therefore, I firmly believe that we should take advantages of studying animals to better understanding ourselves.

[ 本帖最后由 jackallen0714 于 2008-12-4 12:08 编辑 ]

南极熊UID: 2578592

Human has been living in this planet for quite a long time. While animals live even longer than we do. Although human is superior than(to) animals in intelligence, studying and observing animals can still shed some light in(shed light on +N 或从句） better understanding ourselves and the world around us.

A（an） important lesson we can learn from animals is their determination and courage. In order to find another habitat, tiny birds are willing to fly thousands of miles. Sometimes they even have to fly across the ocean without any rest during the travel. Salmon fish that manage to swim back to their birthplaces and spawn there have to fight against hungry bears, dams, fishermen and numerous other obstacles. Small as they are, great resolution and courage they embody. Therefore, when we human beings are in adverse circumstance, we should easily find some consolation from the behavior of animals and gain some strength.（看了很久没挑出毛病，理由语言都不错）

Effective cooperation is what we have been eagerly longing for since our ever-accelerating society urge（urges） us to better work together with each other. From research on organization of animals, human can come up with some insightful ideas to better enhance our own efficiency. Studying on social animals such as ants have already bear fruits that can provide a pattern for human to follow. We adopt their effective methods and make them our own, in this manner, our society achieve further advancement and benefit ourselves at the same time.

Moreover, we should feel grateful for all the sacrifices animals make in medical research. We experiment on small animals and develop vaccine for our own sake. These small creatures replace us to suffer the disease and try to represent the cause of the illness to us. Without their assist , people living in contemporary society may still suffer from many diseases. From studying the function of animals, we promote our comprehension of mysterious human body and better protect us from those diseases.(觉得这段有些跑题，你说的是用动物来做药物研究跟试验，才造福了人类，跟主题understand human nature有点有些偏差吧，感觉有点牵强）

In sum, studying and observing animals are nothing(nothing？这句意思没看懂） but beneficial for human being. Therefore, I firmly believe that we should take advantages of studying animals to better understanding ourselves.

写得不错，很流畅看的很舒服 用词也很多样 再接再厉咯

[ 本帖最后由 南极熊 于 2008-12-4 22:01 编辑 ]

niuniu_dragonUID: 2134273

HERCTIC作文小组------jackallen0714 12.4日作文
Human has been living in this planet for quite a long time. While animals live even longer than we do. Although human is superior than （to 注意搭配）animals in intelligence, studying and observing animals can still shed some light in better understanding ourselves and the world around us.


A （……这里这里）important lesson we can learn from animals is their determination and courage. In order to find another habitat, tiny birds are willing to fly thousands of miles. Sometimes they even have to fly across the ocean without any rest during the travel. Salmon fish that manage to swim back to their birthplaces and spawn there have to fight against hungry bears, dams, fishermen and numerous other obstacles. Small as they are, great resolution and courage they embody. Therefore, when we human beings are in adverse circumstance, we should easily find some consolation from the behavior of animals and gain some strength.

Effective cooperation is what we have been eagerly longing for since our ever-accelerating society urge us to better work together with each other. From research on organization of animals, human can come up with some insightful ideas to better enhance our own efficiency. Studying on social animals such as ants have already bear fruits that can provide a pattern for human to follow. We adopt their effective methods and make them our own, in this manner, our society achieve further advancement and benefit ourselves at the same time.（structure问题）

Moreover, we should feel grateful for all the sacrifices animals make in medical research. We experiment on small animals and develop vaccine for our own sake. These small creatures replace us to suffer the disease and try to represent the cause of the illness to us. Without their assist,（是不是得用名词形式） people living in contemporary society may still suffer from many diseases. From studying the function of animals, we promote our comprehension of mysterious human body and better protect us from those diseases.

In sum, studying and observing animals are nothing but （=只 lz确定是想表达这个意思吗）beneficial for human being. Therefore, I firmly believe that we should take advantages of studying animals to better understanding ourselves.（to understand）

(看着很省心 很少出现structure问题 句子组织的也很好 模板也用得快到不留痕迹的地步了 大方向也把握的很好 3个论据很充分 各个有例子 最后注意结尾收工不要太草草就好了 )

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

Tracy好热心啊！！！赞一个！！！非常感谢！！！