【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月12日作业

LonelydanceUID: 2456465

    Nowadays, with the raising of living standard, we’re exposed to more options to choose dishes. Someone, perhaps those who’re not good at cooking, complain that meals also become more and more difficult to prepare. They’re waiting for a day when the technology develops to a point where they take no effort to make a meal. Maybe, they claim, intelligent robot can act as a competent assistance to help us shorten the time of cooking. This is a pleasant envision, to the bad cook, including me, to accept. I have enough confidence to predict that we definitely spend less time to prepare food in twenty years than present.
    In the first place, people increasingly emphasize on the value of food. To meet their need, government will supervise the foods more strictly, facilitating us by saving our time to make them safer and healthy by ourselves. The health issue aroused by foods security make us panic. There is a case in China recently, in which a famous brand milk powder consists of a poisonous substance, detected by government. A large number of children who used to drink it catch serious illness, some of who went unconsciousness, some died. To alleviate people’s worry about the foods, government has promised to strengthen the inspection of food security, making each kind of food full of nutrition and safer to human health. So, with this policy,I can say, we will spend less time choosing foods, comparing them, thinking over whether they’re safe to eat. Also, we need no longer to complicate the cooking process, adding additional nutrition to them.
    Besides, I can also see the more and more food distribution companies booming in China. If we don’t want to cook, we can call them to send the foods for us. Once a time, I spend my vocation at home, when two unexpected guests, my best friends in college, came to visit me. It was near midnight, we are all hungry, but we are both bad cooks. So I call the KFC to send some hamburgers to us. Less than ten minutes, they brought them and we all had a full stomach. Within twenty years, I believe there are more restaurants offering foods distribution service for us, which decreases the time to foods preparation significantly.
     In a word, modern life sands for convenience in every aspect of our life. It also applies to the foods preparation. Within twenty years, we definitely enjoy the ease in the cooking preparation.

[ 本帖最后由 Lonelydance 于 2008-12-12 22:19 编辑 ]

acai1118UID: 2338482

Nowadays, with the raising of living standard, we’re exposed to more options to choose dishes. （这里感觉不是很连贯，中间缺点过渡的东西）Someone, perhaps those who’re not good at cooking, complain that meals also become more and more difficult to prepare. They’re waiting for a day when the technology develops to a point where they take no effort to make a meal. Maybe, they claim, intelligent robot can act as a competent assistance to help us shorten the time of cooking. This is a pleasant envision, to the bad cook, including me, to accept. I have enough confidence to predict that we definitely spend less time to prepare food in twenty years than present.bbs.gter.net\'^jnC T3@
    In the first place, people increasingly emphasize on the value of food.（觉得这个argument和食物的准备时间没有什么关系，the strength of an argument不够strong ，我觉得继续你上面谈科技的进步对食物的准备更有说服力） To meet their need, government will supervise the foods more strictly, facilitating us by saving our time to make them safer and healthy by ourselves. The health issue aroused by foods security make us panic. There is a case in China recently, in which a famous brand milk powder consists of a poisonous substance, detected by government. A large number of children who used to drink it catch serious illness, some of who went unconsciousness, some died. To alleviate people’s worry about the foods, government has promised to strengthen the inspection of food security, making each kind of food full of nutrition and safer to human health. So, with this policy,I can say, we will spend less time choosing foods, comparing them, thinking over whether they’re safe to eat.（前面的例子和论述感觉比较偏题，论点和例子最好还是要紧扣主题，但是这个结论是比较新鲜的，可以在文章最后作为一个小的aspect去说一下，） Also, we need no longer to complicate the cooking process, adding additional nutrition to them.

   Besides, I can also see the more and more food distribution companies booming in China.（这个例子就很有说服力） If we don’t want to cook, we can call them to send the foods for us. Once a time, I spend my vocation at home, when two unexpected guests, my best friends in college, came to visit me. It was near midnight, we are all hungry, but we are both bad cooks. So I call the KFC to send some hamburgers to us. Less than ten minutes, they brought them and we all had a full stomach. Within twenty years, I believe there are more restaurants offering foods distribution service for us, which decreases the time to foods preparation significantly.

  In a word, modern life sands for convenience in every aspect of our life. It also applies to the foods preparation. Within twenty years, we definitely enjoy the ease in the cooking preparation.
lz的文章语言很不错，但是我水平不够= =！看不出什么问题，只是稍微注意一下论述选择的方向和例子，如果考试发挥正常的话肯定25+以上，努力向lz学习，加油