【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12 月14 transformerss

transformersUID: 2307599

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In university, students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.
Does history courses necessary for students? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that history is a mirror of a culture which is essential to teenagers. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that history class should be one of elective courses(选修课？)which is not necessary to youth whether what field they study in. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to supports my claim: the first one has to go on the aspect of children's psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that citizens, especially for teenagers, will have the emotion of reactance when they are compelled to study history courses. Such emotion will surely harmful to their enthusiasm of study. For another, the grade of history course will be influenced by the reactance. Obviously, when an A students got a C or even D degree, they may be lose their self-confidence. As a result of this, their other course may be, in turn, influenced by the bad mood.

In addition, why there are a lot of professors and students are not fond to let history to be a required course is that compelled to study a course which is not interested by students will decrease the efficient of knowledge obtaining. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that students will study less efficiency when they felt the lectures are boring. Nothing is more significant than interesting to study. Besides, we can not emphasize the significant of enthusiasm of study too much.  A survey conducted by Global Education Committee indicates that high school students will get a higher grade when they think the course is interesting and have enthusiasm to study this course.

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that history will let the juveniles know the story of their country and their society. Although I concede this point, in my observation, most history of one country and one society have been shown on fashion ways. One needs look no more than TV programs to find ample evidences that this is the case. Moreover, if a student enthusiasm for history he will choose it as his major

.In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, the history surely provides the knowledge of culture, but it only satisfies the hope of adults. Other more significant aspects of juveniles, such as mental health and enthusiasm of study, will be harmed by forced history courses. Consequently, students should not be forced to take the history courses when history is not their major.

kaoladedashuUID: 2403207

Does history courses necessary for students? （语法错误should history be necessary）There is no consensus among people. Some argue that history is a mirror of a culture which is essential to teenagers. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that history class should be one of elective courses(选修课？)which is not necessary to youth whether what field they study in. (没有这么表达的，不确定怎么表达还是用原题目中的比较好，至少不是错误的) My reasons will be presented as follows.
There are two fundamental arguments to supports my claim: the first one has to go on the aspect of children's （是in university, 好像不能再叫children了吧）psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that citizens, especially for teenagers（合适吗？）, will have the emotion of reactance when they are compelled to study history courses.（不具有一般性，这样说理没有说服力） Such emotion will surely (be) harmful to their enthusiasm of study. For another （不能用作连词，furthermore or moreover, ）the grade of history course will be influenced by the reactance. Obviously, when an A students got a C or even D degree, they may be lose their self-confidence. As a result of this, (用as a result of which 是不是显得更高级一些)their other course may be, in turn, influenced by the bad mood.
In addition, why there are a lot of professors and students are not fond to let history to （let sb. do sth. 去掉to）be a required course is that compelled to study a course which is not interested by students （没这么表达的，which the students are not interested in）will decrease the efficient (注意词性，efficience)of knowledge obtaining（这句有点绕，断开表达比较好）还有，有事实证明很多老师和学生不喜欢这样吗，不具有普遍性，又没有成为定论的，不能随便立论，没有说理性. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that students will study less efficiency when they felt the lectures are boring. Nothing is more significant than interesting to study. Besides, we can not emphasize the significant of enthusiasm of study too much.  A survey conducted by Global Education Committee indicates that high school students （我们现在讨论的是students in university）will get a higher grade when they think the course is interesting and have enthusiasm to study this course.
Nevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that history will let（同一个词不要用很多次，allow,enable…） the juveniles (同样的毛病) know the story of their country and their society. Although I concede this point, in my observation, most history of one country and one society have been shown on fashion ways. One needs look no more than TV programs to find ample evidences that this is the case.（这里应该举例展开一下。） Moreover, if a student （is）enthusiasm for history， he will choose it as his major.
In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, the history surely provides the knowledge of culture, but it only satisfies the hope of adults.（太绝对!） Other more significant aspects of juveniles, such as mental health and enthusiasm of study, will be harmed by forced history courses. Consequently, students should not be forced to take the history courses when history is not their major.
个人愚见,互相交流学习，
首先，注意审题，题目开头就是 in university。论述要围绕论题展开。
其次，立论有些混乱，多看看例文。

transformersUID: 2307599

谢谢ls的~~这样改我才能有收获~~
确实跑题了~我看别人文章时候才发现题目有大学这么一说~~呵呵~~

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

Does history courses necessary for students? （should history be necessary）There is no consensus among people. Some argue that history is a mirror of a culture which is essential to teenagers. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that history class should be one of elective courses(选修课这样说的)which is not necessary to youth whether what field they study in. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to supports my claim: the first one has to go on the aspect of children's （teenages）psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that citizens, especially for teenagers（感觉这句话不通哦）, will have the emotion of reactance when they are compelled to study history courses.（这个例子不太好） Such emotion will surely (be) harmful to their enthusiasm of study. For another （furthermore  ）the grade of history course will be influenced by the reactance. Obviously, when an A students got a C or even D degree, they may be lose their self-confidence. As a result of this, their other course may be, in turn, influenced by the bad mood.

In addition, why there are a lot of professors and students are not fond to let history to （let sb. do sth. 去掉to）be a required course is that compelled to study a course which is not interested by students（which the students are not interested in）will decrease the efficient (efficience)of knowledge obtaining. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that students will study less efficiency when they felt the lectures are boring. Nothing is more significant than interesting to study. Besides, we can not emphasize the significant of enthusiasm of study too much.  A survey conducted by Global Education Committee indicates that high school students will get a higher grade when they think the course is interesting and have enthusiasm to study this course.

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that history will let the juveniles  know the story of their country and their society. Although I concede this point, in my observation, most history of one country and one society have been shown on fashion ways. One needs look no more than TV programs to find ample evidences that this is the case. Moreover, if a student （is）enthusiasm for history， he will choose it as his major

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, the history surely provides the knowledge of culture, but it only satisfies the hope of adults.（太绝对!） Other more significant aspects of juveniles, such as mental health and enthusiasm of study, will be harmed by forced history courses. Consequently, students should not be forced to take the history courses when history is not their major.

语言显得有点凌乱，思路不太清晰，建议多看看范文

[ 本帖最后由 xiaojing1115 于 2008-12-15 13:17 编辑 ]