【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月15日作文 transformers

transformersUID: 2307599

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at your age

Who could give us valuable advice? Senior citizens or peers? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that peers could think things as your aspect. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that older friends will enable us more valuable ideas. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim. The first one has to go on the aspect of mature of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that older friends have a maturate mentality. Such mentality will surely enhance the advice to a higher level which has thinked about more aspect of the problem. Moreover, the life experience is helpful for people to build up their strong personality. As a result of which, the senior citizens could give you their real think which is valuable but hurt your heat. A survey conducted by Global Mental Health Committee indicates that most of successful people have a habit of getting advices from older friends.

In addition, why there is so many people are fond of getting advices form older friends is that the different and longer experiences of older friends is helpful to make advices. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that older friends have growth up in a different generation which will available them different personality of our peers. As for me, my professor once told me that the major of Electronic Engineer is better for Math because of the chance to get a job. Such ideas have influences me a lot because I only choose major for interesting before that. Besides, we can not emphasize the significant of long life experiences too much. Obviously, the dilemma of us may be has been solved for several times during their life.

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one most compelling against my claim, is that peers is more fashion and offer us ideas in a new aspect of life. Although I concede this point, in my observation, older friends' ideas are also a new aspect of life which is more valuable than peers'. One needs look no further than successful people, such as business leaders and statesmen, to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, Bill Gates often asks for advices from his secretary who is 20 years older than him.

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, the friends who at our age surely could think as your aspect, but it tend to the same idea of ourselves and only solve common problems. Other more significant problems, such as what major we choose and where to work, are better met by senior citizens than peers. In the final analysis, so significant the older friends' advices that we can not afford to ignore it. Consequently, the ideas from older friends are more valuable than peers.

[ 本帖最后由 transformers 于 2008-12-15 21:10 编辑 ]

泡面UID: 2513568

Who could give us valuable advice? Senior citizens or peers? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that peers could think things as your aspect. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that older friends will enable us more valuable ideas. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim.  (此句应该放在开头段比较好吧) The first one has to go on the aspect of mature of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that older friends have a maturate mentality. Such mentality will surely enhance the advice to a higher level which has thinked （thought） about more aspect （aspects） of the problem. Moreover, the life experience is helpful for people to build up their strong personality. As a result of which, the senior citizens could give you their real think (thoughts) which is valuable but hurt your heat. A survey conducted by Global Mental Health Committee indicates that most of successful people have a habit of getting advices from older friends.

In addition, why there is (are) so many people are (这个就不要了) fond of getting advices form （from） older friends is that the different and longer experiences of older friends is helpful to make advices (make advices?). On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that older friends have growth (grown) up in a different generation which will available them different personality of our peers. As for me, my professor once told me that the major of Electronic Engineer is better for Math because of the chance to get a job. Such ideas have influences me a lot because (换个词好些吧，前面一句已经出现过because了) I only choose major for interesting （依我的理解应该改为interests吧？） before that. Besides, we can not emphasize the significant of long life experiences too much. （这句？）Obviously, the dilemma of us may be has been solved for several times during their life。

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one most compelling against my claim, is that peers is （are） more fashion and offer us ideas in a new aspect of life. Although I concede this point, in my observation, older friends' ideas are also a new aspect of life which is more valuable than peers'. One needs look no further than successful people, such as business leaders and statesmen, to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, Bill Gates often asks for advices from his secretary who is 20 years older than him.（这个例子好，记下了哈哈）

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, the friends who at our age surely could think as your aspect, but it tend to the same idea of ourselves and only solve common problems. Other more significant problems, such as what major we choose and where to work, are better met by senior citizens than peers. In the final analysis, so significant the older friends' advices that we can not afford to ignore it. Consequently, the ideas from older friends are more valuable than peers.

这个单复数还有词性什么的有点乱…总体思路不错，开头开的很好，但是觉得最后一段是不是应该削一下，把部分东西放到上面或者是怎样。

[ 本帖最后由 泡面 于 2008-12-15 23:08 编辑 ]

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

Who could give us valuable advice? Senior citizens or peers? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that peers could think things as your aspect. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that older friends will enable us more valuable ideas. My reasons will be presented as follows.(这是你开头的模板吧，好像我看过，可以再写的出彩些)

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim.  The first one has to go on the aspect of mature of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that older friends have a maturate mentality. Such mentality will surely enhance the advice to a higher level which has（可以写成been thought from more aspects. ）thinked （thought） about more aspect （aspects） of the problem. Moreover, the life experience is helpful for people to build up their strong personality. As a result of which, the senior citizens could give you their real think (thoughts) which is valuable but hurt your heat. A survey conducted by Global Mental Health Committee indicates that most of successful people have a habit of getting advices from older friends.(有个举例很好哦)

In addition, why there is (are) so many people （who）are fond of getting advices form （from） older friends is that the different and longer experiences of older friends is helpful to make advices (come up with advices 是提出建议吧). On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that older friends have growth (grown) up in a different generation which will available（make） them different personality of our peers. As for me, my professor once told me that the major of Electronic Engineer is better for Math because of the chance to get a job. Such ideas have influences me a lot because  I only choose major for interesting （interests）before that. Besides, we can not emphasize the significant of long life experiences too much. （这句话是不是表达反了?）Obviously, the dilemma of us may be has been solved for several times during their life。

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one most compelling against my claim, is that peers is （are） more fashion and offer us ideas in a new aspect of life. Although I concede this point, in my observation, older friends' ideas are also a new aspect of life which is more valuable than peers'. One needs look no further than successful people, such as business leaders and statesmen, to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, Bill Gates often asks for advices from his secretary who is 20 years older than him.

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, the friends who at our age surely could think as your aspect, but it tend to the same idea of ourselves and only solve common problems. Other more significant problems, such as what major we choose and where to work, are better met by senior citizens than peers. In the final analysis, so significant the older friends' advices that we can not afford to ignore it. Consequently, the ideas from older friends are more valuable than peers.
总体的说法很好，但是感觉有点乱，思路不够清楚，加油哦


[ 本帖最后由 xiaojing1115 于 2008-12-16 13:14 编辑 ]