【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月15日作文 by Robaca

xlwxxyUID：2568970

Some people like to get advice from older friends, considering that they have more experiments than us. And then, older friends are more considerate about the one that younger than he/she. While the friends at your age is more likely to know you, as the rapid development of the speed of modern technology, for example, people at the teenager at financial depression and child age at the financial depression will have different idea and ideal and sense toward world. So sometime, people at you age may more sense about what you.

At my colleague school, some older schoolmate in my major would talk you about some experiments about how they found a job. Which companies are excellent which companies are not so good, like how the manager’s personality what schedule the company had. Towards the older schoolmate we are be able to absorb more experiment from the bottom of the heart. And get seldom setbacks than if we didn’t hear the experiment from them. As my older schoolmate told me once time some company is very high salary but you could not do the job which you are interest which is you ideal of your future. This time, you may choose a smaller company although with smaller salary. Or one can go to pursue master degree from abroad. For the most time, older friends are experiment more than you and give you some advices from the bottom heart which is a fortune of you.

As someone cramming for some English test. One can gain a lot of experiment or methods from other friends who had already had the same exam. That would be really help, which you can more likely to set your calendar more effectively and efficiently. That save a huge time for you to searching and decide which books to use how to practice and improve your English.

But sometimes older people’s idea is a double-edge sword, we could not always follow the suggestion they give us. We must experiment we must try, even we defeat, we can learn from it. Like some older people suggest you going to work first instead of pursuing master degree. That depends for what is your sense at the moment. If your study passion is not strained, you should go on study. While the friend at your age who is live with you all day long at colleague is more likely to have sense about you.

In conclusion, both are important, suggestions from older friend and the friend at you age. While  which would we decide, should depend on the bottom of our heart.

mpromanusUID：2565872

Some people like to get advices from older friends, considering that they have more experiments (!!!) experience than us (避免一会儿第三人称一会儿第一人称，读者很容易搞糊涂的..). And then (Not really the best connective. I suggest 'also'., older friends are more considerate about the ones that are younger than he/she them (同上，避免一会儿单数一会儿复数..请时刻记住你在写的是什么人称什么数什么格什么时态..也就是语法). While the friends at your (Whose? 避免直接称呼读者，因为问题是给你的，那里面的‘你’是你，也就是作者，而不是你的读者 - 而且你的读者说不定就有很老的人。Don't assume 'your' age = younger age. You need to qualify your references very clearly.) age is more likely to know you, as the rapid development of the speed of modern technology (不完整. As the development..of technology...然后呢?), for example, people at the teenagers at in financial depression and children age (There's no such thing as 'at the teenager' or 'child age'. 就像你中文不会说‘青年的人’如何如何一样。) at in the financial depression will have different ideas and ideals and senses towards the world (避免一个分句中连用and). So sometimes, people at your age may have more sense about what you experience?. (比较不厚道地说，这句子碎得是令俺叹为观止啊。。短期内赶这么多篇不好，在没有仔细思考的余地下质量会严重下降，所以建议你还是先休息一下大脑，换个心情，仔细复习过语法，练习过基本的分句组织，再来写整篇的作文~否则练这么多没有什么用，只会浪费你的精力~这也是俺为什么提出原则上每周每人一篇的限制，练习并不是一味的越多越好~)

At my colleague school, some older schoolmates in my major would talk to you about some experiments experiences (以下同..基本上你似乎把experiment和experience混了..) about how they found a jobs, which companies are excellent, which companies are not so good, like how the manager’s' personalities were and what schedules the companies had.(你需要休息脑子..单复数混乱是需要严肃正视的问题..) Towards From the older schoolmates, we are be able to absorb more experiment from the bottom of the heart (Whose heart?). And (正式写作避免用and/but/or作句子起头，用furthermore/however/therefore) get seldom fewer setbacks than if we didn’t hear the experiment from them (If this is an 'if', which means it didn't happen, how do you know that you'll get 'fewer setbacks'? Where was the comparison coming from?). As my older schoolmates told me once, time some companies is offer very high salaries but you could not do the job in which you are interested and which is you ideal of for your the future. This time (Again, if you say 'this time', you're hinting that there was a 'that time' - which didn't seem to happen from what you said.), you (Who? Your reader? 人称再度混乱..) may choose a smaller company although with a smaller salary, or one can go to pursue a Master's degree from abroad. For the most time, older friends are experiment more experienced than you and can give you some advices from the bottom of their hearts, which is a fortune of for you.

As someone cramming for some a English test, (这段和上段没什么联系或者转折，突然就跳出来了..) one can gain a lot of experiment or methods from other friends who had already had the same exam. That would be really help, which because you (Again, who? 第三人称又突然转成第二人称了..) can more likely to set your calendar more effectively and efficiently. That saves a huge amount of time for you to on searching and deciding which books to use and how to practice and improve your English.

But sometimes older people’s ideas is can be a double-edged sword, and we could not always follow the suggestions they give us. We must experiment, we must try, and even we may be defeated, we can learn from it. Like For example, some older people may suggest you to going to work first instead of pursuing a Master's degree.(Why can't a younger friend suggest that?) That depends for on what is your sense feeling? is at the moment. If your study passion for study is not strained, you should go on studying. While the a friend at your age who is lives with you all day long at in colleague is more likely to have sense (?) about you (句子不完整。While...然后呢?).

In conclusion, both are important, suggestions from older friends and the friends at your (再强调一次，问题里用your因为问题是对着你说的，那个you指的你，作文作者本人。。你不能照葫芦画瓢对着你的读者说you啊~指代是完全不同的.) age are important. While  which would we decide, should depend on the bottom of our heart. (这句还真是改不通了..)

总结：

这位童鞋。。为了你的身心健康，(也为了俺的身心健康) 请你不要再连着花大力气每天写作文而且是半夜写了。。考试是个力气活，竞技状态很重要，在体力精力低下的情况下勉强出来的作文，质量不会好的，你会犯很多平时状态好的时候不太会犯的错误，而且你很难真正得到有用的经验。。这篇的语言俺看着就是觉得你已经要语无伦次了你知道吗，你倒是舍得拼命K考，俺看了替你心疼啊~~

另外在论点的组织上，如果没记错这是一个agree or disagree的题，而且是有一个keyword是more valuable。。所以它其实是想让你比较older friends和同龄朋友的advice的价值大小然后说同意/不同意。。所以你需要按照问题问的方式来组织开头和结尾，而不是随便开个头，随便结个尾。

xlwxxyUID：2568970

12.16日作业：电视应该是 educate还是entertain?（07.10.5）
Movies have got increasingly fashion in our everyday life. Some people prefer to go to theater or watch movies on TV in their leisure time. Nevertheless, the answers given by different people vary considerably. For instant, some people wish to watch serious movies; others may care the recreation ones. On the condition that I am concerned, I give preference to the former ones, the kind of movies project to make us cogitate.

First and foremost, serious movies give some cerebration to us. Dissimilar from amusing ones, in all probability there is nix remained with one’s inly afterwards. Whereas serious movies conceivably to stimulate one to reflect on, acquire something valuable from noodlework and then get by heard for a fairly yonks. Such procedures that give intelligent to us, and what obtain in this way perhaps is make us turn out to be a necessary supplement to what we learn from the textbooks.

In addition, the movies of serious style can well assist us to derive life experiences we might not opportunity to attain before. Under illusion that we engage in the plot, we may recognize what is appropriate response in disparate circumstance. As also serious kind of movies give us opportunities to consider whether the roles act valid or not, thread through which we are by all odds to become brighter than before, which is definitely benefit to our future life.


For us young generation, we have to fashion ourselves by tremendous information. In this case, at this time, distinguish is incredible for us. Fortunately, serious movies play a positive role in vectoring us to a more sense life.

[ 本帖最后由 xlwxxy 于 2008-12-17 08:31 编辑 ]