【12月-1月IBT综合备考大帖】之【TWE作文】 无音萧 12月20号作业，

无音萧UID: 2518358

12.20日作业Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The next twenty years寄托家园 O from now on, students will not use printed books any more. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Whether or not printed books will be used by students any more in the next twenty years? Seldom do people reach an agreement on this issue, sparking a high controversy in the society. Considering the fast-paced development and the backdrop of information age, in my mind, printed books will be taken place by the E-books one day.

As we all know, printed books are produced at the expense of cutting hundreds of thousands of trees, which are indispensable material for paper, contributing to the increasingly destroy to the forest —one that plays an vital role in the balance of nature. According to the survey, the area of forest is decreasing every year at a rate of 8%, causing tremendous and severe problems, from less absorbance of exhaust to soil erosion. To great extent that the demolishing of our earth is a result of disafforestation, we need to hewing off trees as little as possible. Since we have a good substitute — E-book, a great alternative inducing much less destruction to our nature in that the essence of E-book is actually some datas on the computer, why not change our appetite from printed book to E-book? Definitely, the rate of disafforestation must be slow down, on condition that the E- book becomes popular enough to divert people’s interest in traditional printed book.

In additon, so advanced is the E-book that, in the future, it will repalce the printed book. One apt illustration of this point involves the convenience E-book brings to us.With E-book, no longer will we need to carry stone-liked books everyday, which is not good for the growth of children according to the doctors. What we need to do is just to turn on the computer and download the E-books from Internet. Another advantage of E-books is that we can easily  find the books we want online. Inputting the key words into the search tool, information we are looking for will appear on the screen immediately after a “click”. However, you may be frustrated to skim book after book just for a piece of information in the printed books. What’s more, compared to the printed books which is not only very expensive but also hard to conserved, most of E-books are free-charged or in a lower price because of their low cost, saving us a lot of money, as well.as the thinking how to conserve them.

While some people are against the E-books with respect to the harmful radiation to people’s health emitted by the computer , I take exception with the claim for two reason. Firstly, in 20 years, these problems will be solved by the scientists. Secondly, merits of E-book outweigh dismerits. Only when you are sitting in front of the screen all day long will you be hurt by the computer.

In conclusion, E-book will be more popular with students than the printed book in twenty years. E-book is not only beneficial for our environment, but also have a lot of advantages itself such as those I mentioned above. Thus, it is really judicious substitute the printed book with E-book.

[ 本帖最后由 无音萧 于 2008-12-21 23:55 编辑 ]

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

请先拿word改掉基本错误。
As we all know, printed books are produced at the expense of cutting hundreds of thousands of trees, which are indispensable material for paper, contributing to the increasingly destroy to the forest —one that plays an vital role in the balance of nature. According to the survey, the area of forest is decreasing every year at a rate of 8%, causing a lot of tremendous and severe problems, from less absorbance of exhaust to soil erosion. To great extent that the demolishing of our earth is a result of disafforestation, we need to hewing off trees as little as possible. Since we have a good substitute — E-book, a great alternative inducing much less destruction to our nature in that the essence of E-book is actually some dates on computer, why not change our appetite from printed book to E-book? Definitely, the rate of disafforestation must be slow down, on condition that the E- book becomes popular enough to divert people’s interest in traditional printed book.（有独到见解不错，并且两方面都点到了）

In addition, so advanced is the E-book that, in the future, it will replace the printed book. One apt illustration of this point involves the convenience E-book brings to us. With E-book, no longer will we need to carry stone-liked books everyday, which is not good for the growth of children according to the doctors. What we need to do is just to turn on the computer and download the E-books from Internet. Another advantage of E-books is that we can easily to find the books we want online. Inputting the key words into the search tool, information we are looking for will appear on the screen immediately after a “click”. However, you may be frustrated to skim book after book just for a piece of information in the printed books.

What’s more, compared to the printed books which is not only very expensive but also hard to conserved, most of E-books are free-charged or in a lower price because of their low cost, saving us a lot of money, as well as the thinking how to  While some people are against the E-books with respect to the harmful radiation to people’s health emitted by the computer , I take exception with the claim for two reason. Firstly, in 20 years, these problems will be solved by the scientists. Secondly, merits of E-book outweigh dismerits. Only when you are sitting in front of the screen all day long will you be hurt by the computer.

In conclusion, E-book will be more popular with students than the printed book in twenty years. E-book is not only beneficial for our environment, but also has a lot of advantages itself such as those I mentioned above. Thus, it is really judicious substitute the printed book with E-book.
论点不错，语言也很好。

达达摩摩UID: 2499908

...LZ的观点相当好的说啊...很新颖 从另外一个角度着手 很独到  值得学习啊 语言不华丽但是很有力量

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Whether or not printed books will be used by students any more in the next twenty years (第一句就看到一个连完整句子都不是而且中式词序的华丽长分句..:L 再一再二不可再三, 这位童鞋如果你再不好好注意下句法全凭感觉噼里啪啦地写，俺再改也没用..)? Seldom do people reach an agreement on this issue, sparking a high (This is not the word to describe 'controversy'.) controversy in the society. Considering the fast-paced development and the backdrop of the information age, in my mind, printed books will be taken place replaced by the E-books one day.(很多词组非常眼熟嘛..另外题目是二十年内学生是不是就不用印刷书了 - 不用印刷书不等于就一定用电子书, 将来的教育不用任何形式的 书 都是有可能的.)

As we all know, printed books are produced at the expense of cutting hundreds of thousands of trees, which are provide indispensable raw material for paper, contributing to the increasingly destroy (...the后面应该跟名词，increasingly后面应该跟形容词，结果destroy既不是名词也不是形容词..) to the forest — one (one what?) that plays an vital role in the balance of nature. According to the survey (又看到THE survey..WHAT survey? the是特指冠词，要用就得另外限制修饰后面的名词，不然要用a/an), the total? area of forests is decreasing every year at a rate of 8% (当讨论森林消失速度的时候通常以每年公顷数计算，而不是每年百分比 - 所以你这数据看起来颇为不可信), causing tremendous and severe (重复. 如果你想说 广泛的严重问题 是severe problems worldwide.) problems, from less absorbance of exhaust to soil erosion. To a great extent, that the demolishing (This word means to tear down buildings, farms, etc.  - in general, man-made establishments, not earth.) of our earth is a result of deforestation (如果你实在不确定自己会拼一个很长的词，那你多半会拼错 - 建议避免乱拼), and we need to hewing off trees as little as possible. Since we have a good substitute — e-book, a great alternative inducing much less destruction to our nature in that the essence of e-books is actually some datas ('Data' is a plural. Its singular is 'datum'.) on the computers - why not change our appetite from printed books to e-books? Definitely, the rate of deforestation must will definitely be slow down, on the condition that the e- books becomes popular enough to divert people’s interest in traditional printed books. (You're using the wrong word to express your logic. 'Must' is an active initiative, therefore if you're trying to say that if ebooks become popular people will cut down fewer trees, the act of cutting down trees is not a 'must' but a 'consequence'.) (另外，问题问的是二十年内学生是不是会停止使用印刷书，不是电子书怎么能保护环境..)

In additon, so advanced is the e-book that, in the future, it will replace the printed book. One apt illustration of this point involves the convenience e-book brings to us. With e-books, no longer will we need to carry stone-liked books everyday, which is not good for the growth of children according to the doctors (你的意思是现在还在发育的小孩子都要天天背砖头样的书上学了吗? 这个减负问题好像已经是被严肃考虑的了，何况美国小孩子基本不用带什么书上学的..). What we need to do is to just to turn on the computers and download the e-books from the Internet. Another advantage of e-books is that we can easily find the books we want online. Inputting the keywords into the a search tool engine, information (I thought you said 'books'. If you just search for information, then it's not the ebooks but the Internet that's providing you the convenience.) we are looking for will appear on the screen immediately after a “click”. However, you may be frustrated to skim book after book just for a piece of information in the printed books (印刷书籍里有种东西叫 索引. In case you don't know, that's also how search engines work electronically.). What’s more, compared to the printed books which is are not only very expensive but also hard to conserved, most of e-books are free-charged free of charge or in at a lower prices because of their low costs, saving us a lot of money, as well.as the thinking how trouble to conserve them.(A personal note on that: servers for the London Stock Exchange went down in September for 6 hours. Google is pushing for 'cloud computing', which means eventually the whole world's electronic data will be stored in some huge central servers and downloaded on-demand into personal computers. Imagine THOSE servers going down. Won't be pretty.)

While some people are against the e-books with respect to the harmful radiation to affecting people’s health emitted by the computers ('People's health' is 'emitted by computers'?) , I take exception (You can't 'take' an exception.) with the claim for two reasons. Firstly, in 20 years, these problems will be solved by the scientists (Are you sure?). Secondly, merits of e-books outweigh demerits. Only when you are sitting in front of the screen all day long will you be hurt by the computer. (..I'm sorry I have to be rude but..this sentence is bullshit.)

In conclusion, e-books will be more popular with students than the printed book in twenty years (and I thought your point was ebooks are going to replace printed books - which means there won't even be any comparison between demands of ebooks and printed books already.). E-books is are not only beneficial for our environment, but also have a lot of advantages themseve such as those I mentioned above. Thus, it is really judicious to substitute the printed books with E-books. (问题是问你是不是二十年后学生就不再使用印刷书了，不是用电子书取代印刷书好不好..)

总结：

语言方面，很流畅，但是小错误不断，请注意基本的语法。论述方面立论面太窄，而且具体论述中跑题很厉害。。请注意随时检查你的论述是否切题。

A personal note:

I'm not sure if you have felt it, but I'm getting more and more irritated and cynical reading through your essays. If I've been too harsh on you, I'm sorry.

I get so 'angry' because I know you have great potential but your weaknesses are keeping you from reaching the next level. In Chinese we'd call that 恨铁不成钢..You have demonstrated great command of 'flow', which is amazing because that's one of the most difficult things to master in English..but your lack of sense in basic grammar is equally eye-opening. I have a feeling that you probably didn't have vigorous training in grammar, and you developed your writing skills through reading and imitating native writers. Therefore you write very fluently with great sense of linguistic flow, but somehow you keep making the simplest mistakes.

My suggestion, if you'd actually take any, is that you should stop writing like this right now, and go back to do some revisions in the most basic things. If you build your foundations firm and right, I think you have the talent to go much further.

[ 本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2008-12-23 01:20 编辑 ]