作文修改

绿草茵茵UID：2471736

谢谢，我又来啦。虽然烂，但是还在坚持中。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions
make more negative effects than positive effects on young people's behavior.
Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

With the development of mass media, movies and televisions have played great impact in  human's lives. They bring lots of useful information and pleasing entertainment for us, at the same time, they also produce negative effects on young people's behavior such as bringing some crime concepts. In my opinion, it hard to say that movies and televisions make more negative effect than positive effects on young people's behavior, or the other side. whether they make negative or positve effects is totally depending on how to use.

At the information time, for most of us, movies and televisions have become one imperative part of life. Television could provide the latest news of local community, the country construction, and the international development. Movies supply much joys which make us relaxed, this function is quite important especially when we are tired for a long day's work. In addition, televisions and movies programms have become one ways of education to young people, it is easier for them to accept some social moral and respect by watching educational televisions or movies. Of course, all of results are the exactly using media.

On the other hand, movies and televisions also have diadvantages which are harmful for young people. For example, there are some bad scenes that may be a brutal crime, a naked women, or a unhealth sexual behavior. Of course, teenages are easily influenced, then they may carry an conscious or unconscious mimic for these behaviors. Moreover, some progamms played are useless entertainments, they are just a way of wasting  precious time, you gain noting from them. Therefore, we shouldn't ignore these harmful effects.

Movies and televisions have benefits and drawbacks, wich like two-edged swords, they can not only provide useful information and as one methods of education, but also they can easily influence young people with unhealth scenes. Whether they play a negative or positive effect is completely hinged on how to use. If you only accept the good aspect of them and restrict the bad aspect, you will definitely get many benefits. Otherwise,disadvantages you will get from them outweigh advantages you will get.

mpromanusUID：2565872

With the development of mass media, movies and televisions have played great impact (impact不能play, 要么have (an) impact, 要么play (a) role) in human's lives. They bring lots of useful information and pleasing entertainment for to us, at the same time, they also produce negative effects on young people's behavior, such as bringing some crime concepts (很不地道的表达. I think you mean 'vividly displaying concepts of crimes so that young people may imitate them.'). In my opinion, it's hard to say that movies and televisions make more negative effects than positive effects on young people's behavior, or the other side. whether they make negative or positve effects is totally depending on how to use (没宾语，并且应该是how they are used.).(问题是agree or disagree, 而且题目本身就已经是more这种有骑墙空间的问法，不需要用it's hard to say这种没结论的骑墙说法. 另外题目也没问你怎么才算positive/negative effect..Answer the question, but answer ONLY the question.)

At In the information time age, for most of us, movies and televisions have become one imperative part of life. Television could provide the latest news of they local community, the country construction (? 你是想说 国家的建设 吗?..), and the international developments. Movies supply much joys which makes us relaxed, this a function that is quite important especially when we are tired for from a long day's work. In addition, televisions and movies programms (没有movie programm) have become one ways of education to young people. It is easier for them to accept some social morals and respect (?) by watching educational televisions or movies. Of course, all of these results are the exactly using media (?).

On the other hand, movies and televisions also have diadvantages which are harmful for young people. For example, there are some bad (bad这个词实际上非常口语化，正式写作请少用) scenes that may be depict a brutal crime, a naked woman, or a unhealthy sexual behavior.(什么是 健康和不健康的sexual behavior啊? :eek: 猜你应该是想说immoral吧..) Of course, teenages are easily influenced, then they may carry out an conscious or unconscious mimics for of these behaviors. Moreover, some progamms played are useless entertainments, they are just a way of wasting  precious time, you gain noting from them (这是三个句子，像这样没有连词就把它们串在一起是语法错误 - 跑句run-on sentences. 请注意句法). Therefore, we shouldn't ignore these harmful effects.(题目是问你同意不同意电影/电视的不良影响比良好影响大，不是问你电影电视都有哪些良好影响/不良影响。你需要做的是比较良好/不良影响的程度，而不仅仅是简单地罗列它们.)

Movies and televisions have benefits and drawbacks, which, like two-edged swords, they cannot only provide useful information and serve as one methods (难道你写出one methods这种词组的时候都不会感到好像有些些不对劲吗..) of education, but also they can easily influence young people with unhealthy scenes (请不要把 不健康内容 直接中翻英..). Whether they play a negative or positive effect (effect是不能play的，要么produce (an) effect，要么play (a) role.) is completely hinged on how to use (见上文同样的地方。这是个非常不地道的表达，而且非常明显的中文直翻..). If you only accept the good aspects of them and restrict the bad aspects, you will definitely get many benefits. Otherwise,disadvantages you will get from them outweigh advantages you will get. (问题没有问你我们该怎么利用电影电视才能得到更多好处云云。。尤其不要在总结段提出新的论点)

总结：

在句法和用词方面还有些不地道和中翻英的现象请注意..另外题目问的什么，你就回答什么，不要模棱两可，也不要把问题没有问到的东西拿出来当论点。你现在的写法是典型中文社论型 - 开头也不反对，也不赞成，只说这个问题需要客观，而且主要在这个东西怎么使用。。然后列一堆优点，列一堆缺点，最后说优点缺点都有，大家要学会自己去糟粕取精华才能社会进步国家和谐世界人民大团结。。议论文不是这么写的，建议现在先看些好的范文的布局，把议论文最基本的写法要求了解好。