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[未归类] 大家圣诞快乐!!第一篇T作文求很拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-12-25 18:59:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.




I totally disagree that childrens should not be separated by gender for attending school. It is neither beneficial for academic studying nor promote adolescent social communication, as discussed below.

The threshold problem with gender separated enducation has to do with congenital characteristics of boys and girls. People born not just with physical differentnesses but with intelligent distinctions. Thus, collaboration would turn genetic disadvantages around, especially for youngsters. For an instant, boys may outstrip lassies in such aspects as physical burdensome work, creativity an so forth, while girls could surpass boys with the work requires exceeding patience or elaboration or sensitivity. While someone might argue that these portrayals are inaccurate, it is a scientific fact that gender does differeniate mankind with womankind in specifical facets. Accordingly, coeducation would promote the academic achievements significantly. That is the very advent reason why I bolster the coeducation.

The second argument with this contentious issue involves sociability. Nonage is the most crucial stage for forging such capability. Inadequant communications would lead to incompetent of society directly that separated school brings. Deficiency of the opposite sexual contact partially explains so much metal illnesses such as infantile autism, delirium etc. round these years. Furthermore, youngsters are at their age of emotional sensitivity, which embraces the feelings of affection or friendship. Most people could almost remember such pure feelings when they are at their 40s, 50s. For that matter, seperated education would somehow infringe humality or ethic. Moreover, separated education would rise a series of controversial issues such as religion politician that this brief essay could not begin to address.

To sum up, I totally persist that coeducation fits today’s society rather than separated education. In my notion of education involves cooperation and societal communication that separate boys from girls would limit these attributes. In the final analysis, I totally dissent that schools should separate children by their gender that it neither advances academic achievements not promote people’s emotional evolution.
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沙发
发表于 2008-12-25 21:11:47 |只看该作者
lz的词汇量。。很好。。很诡异。。比如一些简单的搭配却频繁出错,不知是为什么?比如people born not just缺谓语。for an instant,sexual contact.......另外觉得第二段后面两个理由不大好,以亲身经历告诉你seperated education would somehow infringe humality or ethic是毫无缘由的。第三个理由只说一句让人摸不到头脑,还不如不要了。Plus,觉得那些纷繁的词汇有点掩盖论证的本质了,不知是不是我水平有限。希望有帮助。

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板凳
发表于 2008-12-25 21:39:52 |只看该作者
第一段childrens
WeChat: EricQaaaa

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地板
发表于 2008-12-25 21:43:47 |只看该作者
仅从语法上来说,不考虑内容恰当性。加油&merry xmas
Overall score: 82/100

Plagiarism OK
Contextual spelling check 6 alerts
Misspelled words 5 alerts
Commonly confused words 1 alert

Word choice 1 alert
Grammar OK
Subject-Verb Agreement OK
Pronoun Use OK
Verb Tenses OK
Adverb and Adjectives OK
Comparative and Superlative Modifiers OK
Preposition Use OK
Article Use OK
Other OK

Sentence Structure OK
Connecting and Transitional Words OK
Subordinate or Dependent Clauses OK
Sentence Fragments OK
Comma Splices OK
Run-on Sentences OK
Fragment sentences OK
Misplaced Modifiers OK
Parallelism OK

Punctuation OK
Commas OK
Semicolons OK
Parentheses and Dashes OK

[ 本帖最后由 冰棒汽水ECHO 于 2008-12-25 21:44 编辑 ]
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发表于 2008-12-25 21:48:10 |只看该作者

回复 #4 冰棒汽水ECHO 的帖子

明天给你再加分:o
法律阿泰: http://www.weibo.com/5820884819/ 第一时间的海外法学院申请, NGO实习及各种学术会议信息

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发表于 2008-12-25 21:49:03 |只看该作者

回复 #5 阿泰 的帖子

准奏:o
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发表于 2008-12-25 22:26:15 |只看该作者
一楼指出的很对,写作时只顾着词汇,没在意其他方面,另外第一次作文没计时:funk:
冰棒汽水的评价非常聚友针对性,有了努力的方向
非常感谢大家圣诞节还抽时间帮我看作文:loveliness:

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发表于 2008-12-26 01:01:15 |只看该作者
I totally disagree that childrens should not be separated by gender for when attending school. (第一次看到有人一上来先扔一个双重否定句做topic sentence的..很好很强大..实在太看得起考官的耐心了..) It is neither beneficial for academic studying (whose 'studying' of what?) nor promoting adolescent social communication between adolescents in the future? (adolescent是形容人的,不是形容social communication的. 不要把不同context的词语混在同一处定语里.), as discussed below.

The threshold (Do you people actually know what a 'threshold problem' is?? This is such a nice example of people copying blindly from the so-called 范文 - because ETS will never tell you that 'threshold problem' doesn't mean whatever you guys think it means and your ever-trusted 范文 can be wrong. If you don't believe me, google this phrase and see how it's used.) problem with gender-separated enducation has to do with congenital characteristics of boys and girls. People are born not just with physical differentnesses (Such a lovely word of pretense. Did you try googling 'differentness'? Google will ask you whether you meant 'differences'. Wow.) but with intellectual distinctions. Thus, collaboration (? I thought we're talking about co-ed.) would turn genetic disadvantages around (I don't believe genetic deficiencies could be 'turned around'. They can't be cured and they're not contagious.), especially for youngsters. For an instance, boys may outstrip lassies (..方言词就不要拿出来了..) in such aspects such as physically burdensome work, creativity and so forth, while girls could surpass boys with the work requiring exceeding patience or elaboration or sensitivity. While someone might argue that these portrayals are inaccurate, it is a scientific fact that gender does differeniate mankind with womankind in specifical (If you didn't spell 'specific' wrongly, 'specifical' is OBSOLETE - don't use it.) facets. Accordingly, coeducation would promote the academic achievements significantly. (Where the h*** does this come from? Of course boys and girls are different - but who says putting different people together will definitely promote academic achievements?) That is the very advent (This is a noun. I think you meant to use some other word but I can't guess any.) reason why I bolster the coeducation.

The second argument with for this contentious issue involves sociability. Nonage (I don't believe many people, including your readers, will know this very archaic legal term.) is the most crucial stage for forging such a capability. Inadequate communications (with whom?) would lead to incompetence of society (? What does the 'society' have to do with this?) directly that separated school brings (Your intention of expression is beyond me here.). Deficiency of contact with the opposite sexual (Use 'sexual' carefully. It doesn't always mean 'related to the sexes' - it more often means 'related to sex'.) contact partially explains so much many metal illnesses such as infantile autism, delirium etc. around these years. (I see a Freud fan coming..) Furthermore, youngsters are at their age of emotionally sensitive, which (What? Emotions? Sensitivity?) embraces the feelings of affection or friendship. Most people could almost remember such pure feelings when they are at their 40s, 50s. For that matter, seperated education would somehow (?) infringe humality or ethic (I only see that you discussed the emotional and mental aspects..I don't see where humanity/ethic is standing in this argument.) Moreover, separated education would raise a series of controversial issues such as religion politician (?) that this brief essay could not begin to address. (You're saying that co-ed won't raise controversial issues? This sentence only shows how shallow your thoughts are..)

To sum up, I totally persist (Only things persist or you persist in doing something. You can't 'persist' an opinion.) that coeducation fits today’s society rather better than separated education does. In my notion, of education involves cooperation and societal communication. that Separating boys from girls would limit the development of these attributes. In the final analysis, I totally dissent that schools should separate children by their gender, that it neither advances academic achievements not promote people’s emotional evolution.


总结:

Using a pretentious vocabulary would NOT impress your examiner, especially when you obviously can't even use the most basic sentence structures and words correctly.

Develop your logic properly. Give sufficient elaboration on the points that you wish to CONCLUDE, not on the points you think you can say a lot about.

[ 本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2008-12-26 14:05 编辑 ]
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阿泰 + 2 词好难哦

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发表于 2008-12-26 11:48:29 |只看该作者
估计没啥希望了!








上海大众搬场 大众搬场公司

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发表于 2008-12-26 13:57:31 |只看该作者

回复 #9 xiao243410 的帖子

晕了,第一篇作文,你也不用这样打击我啊

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RE: 大家圣诞快乐!!第一篇T作文求很拍 [修改]

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大家圣诞快乐!!第一篇T作文求很拍
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