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128. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Recently, there is a fierce discussion about whether to include physical exercise as a part of every school day. Although the result may vary from person to person, from culture to culture, considering the benefits that physical exercise will bring to us, I agree that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day.

It is generally accepted that efficiency is of great importance to students. On one hand with the fast development of science and technology, the knowledge we need to grasp is increasing at an astonishing speed; On the other hand, our time and energy is so limited that if we want to be successful we have to be highly efficient in our studies. While physical exercise is a good way to improve efficiency. Biologically speaking, physical exercise accelerates the blood circulation and thus gives our brain more blood supply and makes it get access to more oxygen and nutrition. Therefore, doing some exercise not only gives our brain a chance to relax but also helps our brain to refresh itself and accordingly enables us to be more efficient. As a student in college, I often go to play basketball to get a rest after studying for a period of time. After the play I usually feel more energetic and efficient to study.

Furthermore, to include the physical exercise can help us keep a strong body and indirectly help us succeed. A healthy body is the basis of every activity in life, without which our study or work would be interrupted by illness. Everyday exercises, like jogging, swimming, playing basketball and so on, will enable us to improve our health status to avoid being taken down by illness.

Finally, some physical exercises like playing football or Ping Pang is very interesting and can improve the relationship between players. Maybe we are able to make friends with those who share the same love for the same kind of activity. Actually I met my best friends while we are playing basketball together. And I appreciate that I have engage in such activities.

To physical exercises can improve efficiency in study, help us keep a strong body and add more fun to our lives, this is why I think school should include physical exercises as a part of every school day.

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Recently, there is a fierce discussion about whether to include physical exercise as a part of every school day. Although the result (of what?) may vary from person to person, and from culture to culture, considering the benefits that physical exercise will bring to us, I agree that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day.

It is generally accepted that efficiency (in what?) is of great importance to students. On one hand, with the fast development of science and technologies, the amount of knowledge we need to grasp is increasing at an astonishing speed; on the other hand, our time and energy is so limited that if we want to be successful, we have to be highly efficient in our studies. While physical exercise is a good way to improve efficiency (incomplete sentence). Biologically speaking, physical exercise accelerates the blood circulation, and thus gives our brain more blood supply and makes gives it get access to more oxygen and nutrition. Therefore, doing some exercise not only gives our brain a chance to relax (You didn't mention this elsewhere in this paragraph.) but also helps our brain to refresh itself, and accordingly enables us to be more efficient. As a college student in college, I often go to play basketball to get a rest after studying for a period of time. After the playing I usually feel more energetic and efficient to study (We normally say doing something some way 'is efficient' or doing something 'efficiently', or someone 'is efficient', but not someone 'is efficient to do something'.) .

Furthermore, to include the physical exercises (in what?) can help us keep a strong our bodies strong and indirectly help us succeed. A healthy body is the basis of every activity in life, without which our study or work would more likely be interrupted by illness. Everyday exercises, like jogging, swimming, playing basketball and so on, will enable us to improve our health status to avoid being taken down by illness.

Finally, some physical exercises like playing football or ping-pong (The formal name is 'table tennis'.) is very interesting and can improve the relationship between players. Maybe we are able to can make friends with those who share the same love for of the same kind of activities. Actually I met my best friends when we are playing basketball together (If you use 'while', it means you met your friends right in the process of playing, not before, not after - instead of a more general sense of meeting friends because you all played together.), and I appreciate that I have engaged in such activities.

To physical exercises can improve efficiency in study, help us keep a strong our bodies strong and add more fun to our lives: this is why I think school should include physical exercises as a part of every school day.

总结:

语言上颇有些不地道的表达请注意。请尽量使用精简的语言 - 像makes xxx become/get xxx这种很拗口的句型请少用。

论述方面最大的问题是没有address题目中every school day这个关键字，另外也没有address题目中明确给出的反面意见。你论述的是运动非常好，我们应该让孩子们在学校里运动 - 但为什么一定要 每天？为什么题目要特别告诉你另外一些人认为学生应该整个school day都读书？因为美国的school day是很短的 - 小学生下午2-3点就放学，之后可以自由活动，所以在他们的教育系统里把运动作为school day的一个硬性部分是没有什么特别必要的，反而会吃掉他们本来就短的学习时间。整体上来说，你的论点和展开都还是不错的，只是没有注意到题目中的特别细节，以后请注意作文探讨的深度。