【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月26和27日作业

nickey0809UID：2349468

郁闷每次写文章都有一堆错误

12.26日作业 It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than to learn facts.(07.12.15)

Different persons have diverse ways to study. Someone alleges that just learning facts is more easies and saving time than understand the concepts and ideas. However tempting it sounds, it just skin the surface of the problem. I tend to argue that the well comprehension of concepts and idea can improve the efficiency of learning facts, help to grasp the innate characters and connection of the facts, and benefit to creativity.

First of all, establish a firm foundation can save your time in the following task. Ideas and concepts is the base and essence of the subject. The famous Chinese saying: "Sharpening your axe will not delaying your job of cutting wood" show my intention. Take Math for example: there are always numerous of princeples, most of which are abstract and tedious, many students choose to learn them in heart and use them directly in one define problem, ignoring to find out the concepts and how to deduce the formulae. But they could hardly accommodate to the problem if which takes a little change. What's pathefic, someone even has no idea what they don't understand. By contrast, the students who catch the essence of the idea, they can solve this kind of problem deliberately without looking back. So grasping the concepts and ideas can make your study more efficient.

Secondly, understanding the idea and concepts can help you comprehend the essence of facts and the interrelationship among the facts. Many students assume learning facts is the end, and just stay at the surface of the phenomena. However facts are so complex and could easily devolop to two or more arguments. They might find that each of the argument has his own reason and fall into a dilemma baffle. The wise people who can keep the idea of the fact are able to identify the distinct concepts and assumptions of each arguments base on as well as make a link between an idea and information that supports it. "Teaching one person to fish is better than giving him fish." the proverb also tell the same story. By well acquainted with the idea and concepts, you at problem from a more comprehensive and deeper perspective.

Furthermore, idea and concept is the base of innovation. By making head or tail of the ideas and concepts, one can well understand the course how things run, and propose more feasible policy of reform. For instance, a successful scientist always master the philosophy, they comprehend "god's idea" which will easily lead to breakthrough in their research. In these sense, understanding ideas and concepts is more significant than learning the fact.

In sum, the ideas and concepts are more crucial for student in their study since they can accelerate your pace on their research, become more thoughtful and derive aspiration. Thus, I'm prone to analyze the idea and concept rather than count the superficial fact learning.

12.27日作业Advertisements waste money and time of companies because consumers know what they want to buy（07.12.8）

Advertisement, as a product of market economy, has permeated into each corner of the society. It becomes one of the major way to promote the sale nowadays. Some socialists call advertisement's existence into question: the consumers are aware of their actual demand, thus the time and money the companies spent on it, will bring nothing but lavishness. However logical it sounds, it just skins the surface of the problem. I tend to argue that advertisement does have its being value in terms of its characters and functions, say efficient and rapid mean of communication, magic appeal of consumption and considerable impetus for innovation.

First of all, advertisement has, basing on variousmass medias, from virtual design to real poster, become the fastest, widest and biggest information transfer platform. Through this platform, the information about the productions' property and application could be widely known by the public at the first time, which will swiftly occupy the market during competition. Once some factories have the overstocked products while these good might be lack of supply in other regions, the advertisements become the prior choice as the link between the producers and distributors. It's no longer the time of "Good wine need no bush", even the best product, if no stories who would know it. Thereby, advertisements actually economize the time and money for company.

Moreover, advertisements could intrigue the consumers and initiate consumption. The demand for a product of the pubic is potential to some extent. This potential demand sometimes is incompatible with the actual purchase behavior, the strong visual and auditory impacts brought by the advertisements constantly tempt people to buy the merchandises which are not indispensable. . For instance, a small USA enterprise, specializing in production of plastic, promoted their sales by 16% within a prior of one year through running an ab in a professional journal. In addition, the repeatedly exaggeration and continuous stimulation of the advertisements can enlarge the popularity and increase the market share. In other word, advertisements accelerate the course of an enterprise’s flourishing.

Last but not the least, advertisements are provide generative force to the advancement of new technology. The acceptance time of a new product seems endless without any propaganda. Advertisements can help overcome the restrain and make products to reach consumers directly without time and space limitation. Therefore, advertisements keep the pioneer products' feet in the increasingly competitive market, which will benefit to the development of the companies.

In sum, I believe the advertisement is crucial for every company. Because only a relatively small investment on it will lead to rapid product promotion, significant share of the market and relative reform advancement. Instead of wasting time and money, advertisements is a catalyst which could urge each company to thrive.

[ 本帖最后由 nickey0809 于 2008-12-31 21:33 编辑 ]

mpromanusUID：2565872

Different persons have diverse ways to study. Someone alleges (This is another legal term that you should not casually use. I see that you have a tendency to throw very formal legal terms into places where simple vocabulary would well suffice - I'm not saying that's definitely not correct, but I seriously don't encourage that.) that just simply learning facts is more easier and saves time than understanding the concepts and ideas.(请注意你的动词时态搭配) However tempting it sounds, it just skins the surface of the problem. I tend to argue that the well good comprehension of concepts and ideas can improve the efficiency of in learning facts, help to grasp the innate characteristics and the connections of the between facts, and benefit to creativity.

First of all, establishing a firm foundation can save your time in the following tasks (This is very vague and overly simplistic. Cooking a meal needs a lot of preparations, but eating a meal doesn't - not all tasks need 'firm foundation's, therefore you should qualify the scope of your statement carefully.). Ideas and concepts is form the base and essence of the subject (What subject??). The famous Chinese saying: "Sharpening your axe will not delaying your job of cutting wood" shows my intention. Take math for example: there are always numerous of princeples, most of which are abstract and tedious to study; many students choose to learn them in by heart and use them directly in one define problem (?), ignoring to find out the concepts and how to deduce the formulae were deduced. But (正式写作不要用and, but, so作句子开头. 用furthermore, however, therefore.) they (WHO??) could hardly accommodate to the problems that are just changed a little bit if which takes a little change. What's more pathetic, someone even have no idea of what they don't understand. (Of course you won't have any idea of what you don't understand..if you had, then you're starting to understand it already.) By contrast, the students who catch the essence of the ideas (What ideas?), they can solve this kind of problem (What kind of problem??) deliberately without looking back (on what?). So grasping the concepts and ideas can make your study more efficient. (Being capable of solving problems和efficiency有什么关系?)

Secondly, understanding the ideas and concepts can help you comprehend the essence of facts and the interrelationship among the facts. Many students assume that learning facts is the end (of what?), and just stay at the surface of the phenomena (what phenomena?). However facts are so complex and could easily devolop to two or more arguments.(Arguments are not facts, so I don't see why you mention them here.) They (Who? Or what?) might find that each of the argument has his (? Whose?) own reason and fall into a dilemma baffle. The wise people who can keep the idea of the fact (?) are able to identify the distinct concepts and assumptions of each arguments base on as well as make a link between an idea and information that supports it. "Teaching one person to fish is better than giving him fish." the proverb also tells the same story. By getting well acquainted with the ideas and concepts, you at problem from (I'm awed by your ability of forming meaningless word combinations..) a more comprehensive and deeper perspective.(I don't see how that proverb supports your argument - your argument is that concepts help people to understand facts and make connections, but fishing is a skill more than a concept, and a fish is an object more than a fact - so there's no obvious analogy here.)

Furthermore, ideas and concepts is form the base of innovation. By making head or tail (?) of the ideas and concepts, one can well understand the course how things run, and propose more feasible policies of reform. For instance, a successful scientist always masters the philosophy (THE philosophy of what?), they comprehend "god's idea" (?) which will easily lead to breakthroughs in their research.(Not necessarily...especially not true for computer scientists.) In these sense, understanding ideas and concepts is more significant than learning the facts.

In sum, the ideas and concepts are more crucial for students in their studies since they can accelerate your (whose? You said 'students'. Do not switch to another person in mid-sentence.) the pace of their researches (This sounds like a new point.), become more thoughtful (你的主语是ideas and concepts,不是students) and derive aspiration. Thus, I'm prone (wrong word.) to analyze the ideas and concepts rather than to count the superficial fact learning (? How do you 'count' learning?).

总结:

这位童鞋，俺这里的规定是每人每周一篇最多两篇，让别人有机会，也让你得到一些休息~为什么俺不推荐天天写，因为俺改得很细，看俺的评改比写作文费劲~如果每天一篇地改，你会变成只忙着写，没有时间消化任何评语，所以俺这次只给你改26日的一篇~并且还是建议你至少花些时间好好消化评改，有些习惯性的错误，只要心里有意识，改正是容易的，但你如果心里对自己的长处短处常犯的错误都不清楚，只是埋头吭哧吭哧地练，那练习的效果会大打折扣~

回到你的这篇作文上来。你的论点其实都是不错的，除了偶尔论述不严谨，有些走题之外，比较严重的问题是句不达意~首先，你的语言是拼凑型的 - 尤其在使用从句的时候，几乎是把关键字一字一字地翻译然后用貌似英文的文法凑之起来。另外就是之前就指出过的，指代非常混乱。一个原因是有很多滥用定冠词the，定冠词之所以叫定冠词就是因为用了the就要qualify后面的名词，否则就是缺意，而你在很多没有qualify的名词前面用the。另外一个原因是很容易自己脑子里知道自己指的是谁就想当然 - 的确，很多时候俺能猜出你在试图说什么，但那是因为俺是中国人，就算你拼凑翻译，俺都明白你在写某一句话的时候是怎么思考的 - 但你的托福考官跟你几乎可以断定是绝对没有共同语言~所以请把话说清楚，不要把自己的思维定势套到读者头上。写完之后以一个对话题完全不了解的人的眼光去仔细读一遍，或者放三天之后再去读一遍，相信你会发现什么地方是模糊的。