Issue130【六人作文小组】第1周第2次作业

sneakerliuUID: 2481691

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS:605         TIME: 上午 12:46:08          DATE: 2009-1-5
提纲1承认下一代的重要，承认教育的重要
2 指出学校内的教育越来越好
3指出学校内的教育可以更好
4指出社会教育，家庭教育被忽视

As anyone knows anything about the law of education would agree education is the key to all problems. How we raise our kids determines how they view the world and how they respond to the rest of the world. In this respect, more socialized generations are sure be behave better as they cooperate more active and thus accompanies with a better future society.

Yet, we are doing better inside schools these days. Currently the size of classrooms is smaller, the teaching method is varied, enables better attention paid to each students and more effective education respectively. Moreover, even pupils nowadays have chances to be exchanged to foreign countries to experience different culture, which is sure to benefit their future view of the world. The pay of education is free in Europe, USA and even China as a developing country now introduce it ''Project Education '' that public elementary schools and middle schools are free to its citizens. All this in sum contributes to a more socialized generation, which is sure to make a change.

Nevertheless, the upgraded education method is not the sole prerequisite for qualified education to meet a future standard. The situation could be better and our future society could be better. Many stereotype of our educators’ attitudes remain unchanged as a obstacle for our kids to get more cooperative and active. Even in the US, as shown in one famous magazine's observation, a third teachers fail to motivate their students fully. In the class of alphabet to pupils, teachers may ask around whose name is begin with a current learning letter, which can motivate the students’ wiling to learn. When Mary says hers begins with a C, good teachers respond no but a M, advanced respond it is a M and appreciate her cooperation, only the perfect teachers get all the students together to learn the letter M and tell the different between them additionally. The last method is wonderful to impress the differentiates among letters as well as incite the kids’ mind but few teachers would do so simply because they do not have the updated attitude but follow their regular route of teaching, actually, without immediate comparison and motivation there left nothing but the thought I was wrong to try to cooperate in Mary’s mind. For a utopian teacher in my mind would teach the letters from the name of each student and able to make changes while teaching instead of the array of alphabet. In this respect, the students are impressed as well as cooperated.

Unfortunately, a more essential part of education, the education outside schools, is always neglected. The consequences associated with the less valued, less perfected but more crucial part of education would be a disaster. What we are affecting our youngsters today is unpredictable. The violate video games, sex-related pictures are easy accessed by the children without protection or proper advice. I cannot imagine how they would perform as adults after watching some 007 movies and playing the WOW, a popular violated game among youngsters when they were young. Even as teenagers the tendency of violation are increasing among boys even some girls as a recent video shows 3 school girls hitting another hardly. The protection from parents, the love from the public, and the more severe censorship from governments are in need but ignored. Only if we create a violation free, sex free childhood can we ensure the effects of our education insides schools and a promised future.

To sum up, our society's future depends fully on our next generation. Obviously, our education is the best way lead them socialized. The education insides schools has aroused growing public concentration to make it better while a more significant outside-school education is neglected and lagged behind. A best determination should be made to do our best to give them a clean childhood for their growing. Otherwise, our future is sure to collapse.

空即是色UID: 2496914

As anyone knows anything about the law of education would agree education is the key to all problems. How we raise our kids determines how they view the world and how they respond to the rest of the world. In this respect, more socialized generations are sure be (to)behave better as they cooperate more active and thus accompanies with a better future society.

Yet, we are doing better inside schools these days. Currently the size of classrooms is smaller, the teaching method is varied, enables better(more) attention paid to(on) each students and more effective education respectively. Moreover, even pupils nowadays have chances to be exchanged to foreign countries to experience different culture, which is sure(ensure) to benefit their future view of the world. The pay of education is free in Europe, USA and even China as a developing country now introduce it ''Project Education '' that public elementary schools and middle schools are free to its citizens. All this in sum contributes to a more socialized generation, which is sure to make a change.
总觉得和sociolized的联系不是很紧密啊，再继续说说吧

Nevertheless, the upgraded education method is not the sole prerequisite for qualified education to meet a future standard. The situation could be better and our future society could be better. Many stereotype of our educators’ attitudes remain unchanged as a obstacle for our kids to get more cooperative and active. Even in the US, as shown in one famous magazine's observation, a third teachers fail to motivate their students fully. In the class of alphabet to pupils, teachers may ask around whose name is begin with a current learning letter, which can motivate the students’ wiling to learn. When Mary says hers begins with a C, good teachers respond no but a M, advanced respond it is a M and appreciate her cooperation, only the perfect teachers get all the students together to learn the letter M and tell the different between them additionally. The last method is wonderful to impress the differentiates among letters as well as incite the kids’ mind but few teachers would do so simply because they do not have the updated attitude but follow their regular route of teaching(好长的一句啊)actually, without immediate comparison and motivation there left nothing but the thought I was wrong to try to cooperate in Mary’s mind. For an utopian teacher in my mind would teach the letters from the name of each student and be able to make changes while teaching instead of the array of alphabet. In this respect, the students are impressed as well as cooperated.

Unfortunately, a more essential part of education, the education outside schools, is always neglected. The consequences associated with the less valued, less perfected but more crucial part of education would be a disaster. What we are affecting our youngsters today is unpredictable. The violate video games, sex-related pictures are easy accessed by the children without protection or proper advice. I cannot imagine how they would perform as adults after watching some 007 movies and playing the WOW, a popular violated game among youngsters when they were young. Even as teenagers the tendency of violation are increasing among boys even some girls as a recent video shows 3 school girls hitting another hardly. The protections from parents, the love from the public, and the more severe censorship from governments are in need but ignored. Only if we create a violation free, sex free childhood can we ensure the effects of our education insides schools and a promised future.

To sum up, our society's future depends fully on our next generation. Obviously, our education is the best way lead them socialized. The education insides schools has aroused growing public concentration to make it better while a more significant outside-school education is neglected and lagged behind. A best determination should be made to do our best to give them a clean childhood for their growing. Otherwise, our future is sure to collapse.

socialize的延伸概念没有做论述啊，总体就是说如何更好的education，感觉有点单一了

sneakerliuUID: 2481691

As anyone knows anything about the law of education would agree education is the key to all problems. How we raise our kids determines how they view the world and how they respond to the rest of the world. In this respect, more socialized generations are sure be (to behave better as they cooperate more active and thus accompanies with a better future society.）

Yet, we are doing better inside schools these days. Currently the size of classrooms is smaller, the teaching method is varied, enables better(more) attention paid to(on) each students and more effective education respectively. Moreover, even pupils nowadays have chances to be exchanged to foreign countries to experience different culture, which is sure(ensure) to benefit their future view of the world. The pay of education is free in Europe, USA and even China as a developing country now introduce it ''Project Education '' that public elementary schools and middle schools are free to its citizens. All this in sum contributes to a more socialized generation (/better education and more socialized generation as a result),, which is sure to make a change.
总觉得和sociolized的联系不是很紧密啊，再继续说说吧

Nevertheless, the upgraded education method is not the sole prerequisite for qualified education to meet a future standard. The situation could be better and our future society could be better if we make our students more active and cooperative, both are vital to a socialized citizens. Many stereotype of our educators’ attitudes remain unchanged as a obstacle for our kids to get more cooperative and active(inch towards thar aim). Even in the US, as shown in one famous magazine's observation, a third teachers fail to motivate their students fully. In the class of alphabet to pupils, teachers may ask around whose name is begin with a current learning letter, which can motivate the students’ wiling to learn. When Mary says hers begins with a C, good teachers respond no but a M, advanced respond it is a M and appreciate her cooperation, only the perfect teachers get all the students together to learn the letter M and tell the different between them additionally. The last method is wonderful to impress the differentiates among letters as well as incite the kids’ mind but few teachers would do so simply because they do not have the updated attitude but follow their regular route of teaching(好长的一句啊)actually, without immediate comparison and motivation there left nothing but the thought I was wrong to try to cooperate in Mary’s mind. For an utopian teacher in my mind would teach the letters from the name of each student and be able to make changes while teaching instead of the array of alphabet. In this respect, the students are impressed as well as cooperated.

Unfortunately, a more essential part of education, the education outside schools, is always neglected. The consequences associated with the less valued, less perfected but more crucial part of education would be a disaster. What we are affecting our youngsters today is unpredictable. The violate video games, sex-related pictures are easy accessed by the children without protection or proper advice. I cannot imagine how they would perform as adults after watching some 007 movies and playing the WOW, a popular violated game among youngsters when they were young, but sure the aggressive individuals are not eeasy to compromise andcooperative. Even as teenagers the tendency of violation are increasing among boys even some girls as a recent video shows 3 school girls hitting another hardly. The protections from parents, the love from the public, and the more severe censorship from governments are in need but ignored. Only if we create a violation free, sex free childhood can we ensure the effects of our education insides schools and a promised future.

To sum up, our society's future depends fully on our next generation. Obviously, our education is the best way lead them socialized. The education insides schools has aroused growing public concentration to make it better while a more significant outside-school education is neglected and lagged behind. A best determination should be made to do our best to give them a clean childhood for their growing. Otherwise, our future is sure to collapse.

socialize的延伸概念没有做论述啊，总体就是说如何更好的education，感觉有点单一了
蓝色的是我改过的

[ 本帖最后由 sneakerliu 于 2009-1-6 23:43 编辑 ]

levinshireUID: 2559564

As anyone knows anything about the law of education(是不是用定语从句；掉了个who) would agree education is the key to all problems(教育是解决所有问题的关键，“所有”是不是说得太绝对了). How we raise our kids determines how they view the world and how they respond to the rest of the world. In this respect, more socialized generations are sure be behave better as they cooperate more active and thus accompanies with a better future society.

Yet, we are doing better inside schools these days. Currently the size of classrooms is smaller, the teaching method is varied, enables better attention paid to each students and more effective education respectively. Moreover, even pupils nowadays have chances to be exchanged to foreign countries to experience different culture, which is sure to benefit their future view of the world. The pay of education is free in Europe, USA and even China as a developing country now introduce it ''Project Education '' that public elementary schools and middle schools are free to its citizens. All this in sum contributes to a more socialized generation, which is sure to make a change.

Nevertheless, the upgraded education method is not the sole prerequisite for qualified education to meet a future standard. The situation could be better and our future society could be better. Many stereotype of our educators’ attitudes remain unchanged as a obstacle for our kids to get more cooperative and active. Even in the US, as shown in one famous magazine's observation, a third teachers fail to motivate their students fully. In the class of alphabet to pupils, teachers may ask around whose name is begin with a current learning letter, which can motivate the students’ wiling to learn. When Mary says hers begins with a C, good teachers respond no but a M, advanced respond it is a M and appreciate her cooperation, only the perfect teachers get all the students together to learn the letter M and tell the different between them additionally. The last method is wonderful to impress the differentiates among letters as well as incite the kids’ mind but few teachers would do so simply because they do not have the updated attitude but follow their regular route of teaching, actually, without immediate comparison and motivation there left nothing but the thought I was wrong to try to cooperate in Mary’s mind. For a utopian teacher in my mind would teach the letters from the name of each student and able to make changes while teaching instead of the array of alphabet. In this respect, the students are impressed as well as cooperated.(好长的句子啊，弄几个短的，错落有致些，会更好的)（这个段落再精简压缩一下吧）

Unfortunately, a more essential part of education, the education outside schools, is always neglected. The consequences associated with the less valued, less perfected but more crucial part of education would be a disaster. What we are affecting our youngsters today is unpredictable. The violate video games, sex-related pictures are easy accessed by the children without protection or proper advice. I cannot imagine how they would perform as adults after watching some 007 movies and playing the WOW, a popular violated game among youngsters when they were young. Even as teenagers the tendency of violation are increasing among boys even some girls as a recent video shows 3 school girls hitting another hardly. The protection from parents, the love from the public, and the more severe censorship from governments are in need but ignored. Only if we create a violation free, sex free childhood can we ensure the effects of our education insides schools and a promised future.

To sum up, our society's future depends fully on our next generation. Obviously, our education (英语里面貌似不常用our XXX 这样的表达) is the best way (to) lead them socialized. The education insides schools has aroused growing public concentration to make it better while a more significant outside-school education is neglected and lagged behind. A best determination should be made to do our best to give them a clean childhood for their growing. Otherwise, our future is sure to collapse.

这个结构很好，分类清晰。不过总感觉论证的力量不是那么强，只是感觉（具体我也咬不准）。
还有在长句子之间适当插几个短句子会更好看些。