英语学习屋-Holy gladiator 作文小组 angelool的 第一次作业

angeloolUID: 166036

1.A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

The announcement is welcomed of building a large factory near my community. There are many reasons for my pleasure to see this project start, such as, a positive influence on the economics development, more chances for job hunters, and the promising construction of a whole new community. It could be anticipated that some negative effect also exists, like pollution, safety and so on.

On the positive side, the company's plan to building a new factory with no doubt will stimulate the economics there. My community is located on the edge of the city. It is not so developed and the main sources of earning money are farming and doing some small business. People are not rich. If there is a new factory nearby, it will surly need varieties of supplement, including rude material, traffic supporting, and human resources. Not only a lot of small factories and truck companies will be built up, but people will also have some opportunity to get a job in those places. In this developing country, considering both the element of income and the working condition, doing some kind of job in the industrial area is always much better than the agricultural one. Therefore the building of new factory must be the good news to the people living there.      

Another reason why I support this idea is that the construction of a new and large factory will renew the whole state of my community on the spiritual level. As most of the people there are farmers and small-business men, they neither believe the power of knowledge nor enjoy the chances of having more healthy activities, as dancing, watching drama etc. The factory itself and its derivative factories will have many well educated people working there, such as engineers, technicians and skilled workers. These people, who will living in my community, may change the life style of other people. Gradually, more and more people will start to enjoy the happiness to do some more civilized things. And what's more important is the children living there get to know the importance of studying from the very beginning. I believe the community will be better and better as days go on.

We also have to admit the existence of some bad effect that may comes along. The construction and the daily operation of such a large factory could bring some pressure on the environment. Without control, the waste water, gas and noise will seriously discomfort the people nearby. Also, the recruiting of new comer as the workers may decrease the stabilization of this area and could make people living there feel not so safe. But these possible problems can be solved through effective management and communicating. We can never deny the chance of development just because of the increased duty that may accompany.

Above all, considering advantages and disadvantages of this project, I support to the idea of building such a factory. This new factory will bring more money and more hope to this community.  

[ 本帖最后由 angelool 于 2009-1-7 00:01 编辑 ]

angeloolUID: 166036

子期的美国梦UID: 2588133

乖哦，在周六前会有老师给你点评的。我也刚写完，之后看看你的。

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

我在改你的文章，觉得问题很多，你应该考虑一下句子结构问题。不要用中文的思路，然后翻译成英文，觉得句子很怪。不要写长句子，如果没有把握把语法写对:loveliness: 不好意思，恕我直言。互相学习。。。

[ 本帖最后由 偷闲透气 于 2009-1-7 23:24 编辑 ]

angeloolUID: 166036

多谢多谢！正在看。：）总结总结再写一次。呵呵。

相互学习。：）

angeloolUID: 166036

好的好的！:)

我也在看你的。

angeloolUID: 166036

闲的建议很不错，我又好好改了改。

有空再帮我看看吧。:)

在附件里。:)

子期的美国梦UID: 2588133

我今晚改你的作文。别着急哦。请稍微等待，因为要上班，所以只有晚上才能有空修改的。加油！


对了，你是群里哪位啊？还有偷闲同学是哪位啊？

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

偷闲同学是我啦～一位年龄偏大的，正在工作的girl。。:cool:

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

原帖由 angelool 于 2009-1-8 13:09 发表
闲的建议很不错，我又好好改了改。

有空再帮我看看吧。:)

在附件里。:)

我又改了一下。你看看。。

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

2. If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history, what person would you like to meet? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.// If you could ask a famous person one question, what would you ask? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.（我觉得，这两篇差不多，就放在一起了，主要写的是第一个问题）

History is always full of mystery, not to mention those historic people. Because most information about historical people I obtained is from books and TV shows, I really want to see them by myself. For example, I was told by my history teacher that there was a famous Queen in Chinese Tang Dynasty named Wu Zetian. She is the first and also the last Queen in history. And because of her gorgeous face, two kings fell in love with her. I would say that I was totally attracted by this historic story and really want to know more about this Queen. So, if I had a chance to travel back in time to meet a famous person from history, I would meet Queen Wu Zetian.

Firstly, I want to find out whether she is a true beauty and learn some traditional beauty methods from her. Every woman always wants to be the most beautiful woman in the world, also including me. Maybe, I could combine the traditional beauty method which I learned form the Queen with the advanced beauty method that we use nowadays, and then invent a new and effective beauty method. If this new invented method works, I might be remembered as a great woman in history as well. Also, if she was interest in some cosmetic we use today, such as Lacome and Esteel Laudral, I would give some to her as well.

Secondly, my teacher told me that she is good at governing her country by using proper people and advanced technology. Through her effective governing, China was the most powerful country in the world at that time. People lived there were rich, and economy in Tang Dynasty was very good. So, if I had a chance to meet her, I would show her some new technological inventions, such as computer and Television. Then, I might have an opportunity to get a position at her cabinet. Take a minister of technology for example. What a fantastic thing is!

Last, I also want to learn her experience about how to balance her work and family. She is a queen but also a wife. I heard from my teacher that she was very good at dealing her relationship with two husbands. How could she do that? This is a real question that bothering me a long time. I would ask this question to her if possible.

so, according to the reasons as above, Wu Zetian is the people in history that I want to meet if possible.

我有个时态的问题，就是如果描述事实，应该是用现在时态吧。但是如果这个事实发生在过去，我就有点迷惑了。比如 I was told by my history teacher that there was （还是is呢？）a famous Queen in Chinese Tang Dynasty named Wu Zetian. She is（还是was呢） the first and also the last Queen in history.

angeloolUID: 166036

好的，不急不急。

哪个群呀？都不知道。汗。;d:

angeloolUID: 166036

又修改了一下，还参考了别的同学的。

1.A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Recently an issue has been brought into focus that a large factory will be built near my community. There are many reasons that I support the idea of building a new factory nearby, such as, a positive influence on the economy development, more chances for job hunters, and an opportunity to build a whole new community. It could be anticipated that some negative effect also exist, such as pollution, safety and so forth.

On the positive side, the company's plan to build a new factory will stimulate the development of the community’s economy. My community is located in the outlying suburb. It is not well developed, and the pillar industries in community economy are farming and small businesses. Constructing a new factory nearby will surely stimulate the demand for raw material, traffic supporting, and human resources. Not only some related factories and truck companies will be built up, people living here will also have more job opportunities. Considering income and working conditions, I think that working as a worker is far more better than farming as a farmer. Therefore, the building of new factory must be the good news to the people living here.

Most people living here are farmers and small-business men, and they don’t believe the power of knowledge. The factory will have well educated people working here, such as engineers, technicians and skilled workers. These people may change the life styles of local residents through cooperation on jobs and daily conversations. For example, farmers will be glad to adopt new technologies to improve food production. Families will spend more time in reading books or listening to music than in playing mahjong. What's more important, the children living here get to know the importance of studying from the very beginning. I believe the community will be better and better as days go on.

We also have to admit the existence of some bad effect. The construction and the daily operation of the factory could bring some pressure on the environment. The waste water, exhaust gas and noise will harm our living condition. Also, the recruiting of new comers, who are not friendly or cultivated, may impact the stabilization of the community and could make people feel not safe. But these possible problems can be solved through effective management and communication. We can never reject the chance of development just because of the increased duty that may accompany.

Above all, considering advantages and disadvantages of this project, I embrace the idea of building such a factory. This new factory will bring both the prosperity and the hope to my community.

1. There are many reasons that I support the idea of building a new factory nearby, such as, a positive influence on the economy development, more chances for job hunters, and an opportunity to build a whole new community（这个理由不够直白，会让看的人想半天why的）
是呵，it’s really not easy to figure out this reason at the 1st sight. Even I believe this reason is well developed in the 3rd paragraph. How to solve this problem? J

2.  The factory will have well educated people working here, such as engineers, technicians and skilled workers. （想来想去还是把other new companies给去掉了，主要还是谈好这个new factory吧）
英明！

3. These people may change the life styles of local residents through cooperation on jobs and daily conversations. For example, farmers will be glad to adopt new technologies to improve food production. Families will spend more time in reading books or listening to music than in playing mahjong.
这样是不是就可以解释后面的影响家庭的方式了呢?

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

首先说一点 字数很多 担心考场上 打不出这么多字
二 整体很好了  
The announcement is welcomed of building a large factory near my community. There are many reasons for my pleasure to see this project start,(冗余at first , it seems that the announcement to build a new factory near my hometown will bring more benefits) such as, a positive influence on the economics development, more chances for job hunters, and the promising construction of a whole new community. It could be anticipated that some negative effect also exists, like pollution, safety and so on.留学,考试,TOEFLGMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAk{1d&d M[1]j+P

On the positive side, the company's plan(the plan of the company) to building a new factory with no doubt will stimulate the economics (economic development)there. My community is located on the edge of the city. It is not so developed and the main sources of earning money are farming and doing some small business. People are not rich. If there is a new factory nearby, it will(wills) surly need(offer) varieties of supplement, including rude material, traffic supporting, and human resources. Not only a lot of small factories and truck companies will be built up, but people will also have some opportunity to get a job in those places. In this developing country, considering both the element of income and the working condition, doing some kind of job in the industrial area is always much better than the agricultural one. Therefore the building of new factory must be the good news to the people living there.      

Another reason why I support this idea is(in addition) that the construction of a new and large factory will renew the whole state of my community on the spiritual level. As most of the people there are farmers and small-business men, they neither believe the power of knowledge nor enjoy the chances of having more healthy activities, as dancing, watching drama etc. The factory itself and its derivative factories will have many well educated people working there, such as engineers, technicians and skilled workers. These people, who will living(live) in my community, may change the life style of other people. Gradually, more and more people will start to enjoy the happiness to do some more civilized things. And what's more important is the children living there get to know the importance of studying from the very beginning. I believe the community will be better and better as days go on.

[ 本帖最后由 奔跑蜗牛 于 2009-1-9 10:47 编辑 ]

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

我学过一段时间网络版的新东方教材。觉得里面讲写作还是口语的老师说的一句话很对。中国人总以为说明白的事情其实都是湖里糊涂。举个例子：中国人A问你今天怎么迟到了呀？中国人B说天下雨。 中国人A说：哦～。我想大家都有这种情景吧。
一个老外听到B 的回答，肯定晕了，可定会问why？天下雨跟迟到有什么关系啊。如果是外国人，他们的回答可能是，天在下雨外面堵车了，所以我迟到了。这样说话是不是清楚多了。

写作文也应该这样。直白，简单。不要把简单的事情绕弯弯说出来。这是我写作文的原则。供参考。