第一次作文

nrs1UID: 2539743

请大家指点：）
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
这篇文章是讨论一个公司准备在社区旁边建立一个大的工厂，这个提议对社区的整体影响是好是坏呢？2个方面都应该存在可能的。在社区旁边建立大的工厂对社区既可以很多好处，同时也可能存在一些弊端，要适度对待。
Determining whether a large factory should be built near the community by a company could be weighed in many aspects. People’s opinions are divergent on such a controversial issue. It is over-simplistic to take into account whether it is advantageous or not in this circumstance. In my point of view, both positive and negative effects about building factory near the community call for a balance byascertaining the benefits and indeed the detrimental aspects.
First and foremost, at the risk of sounding too simplistic, the community and the residents can obtain various benefits from constructing a new factory, and even more desirable impacts on economic development. There are three reasons for me to support the statement. For one thing, new manufactory will bring a great number of new positions to the community inhabitants, simultaneously it is the most appropriate and effective way to increase employment rate in the community. Secondly, new factory enhances the income level of the residents. One of the pressing problems facing our nation today is overcoming disparities in income levels. Development of the industry is a valid solution for augmenting incomes. Anyway, via a certain level of arduous efforts of the residents will the living standard both be developed and strengthened which ensures a better life for all of them.
From the personal perspective, another essential factor is the factory could become a leader stimulating the development of this area, even a core of a new industrial area. No one can deny the fact that a growing trend of similar factories will be built in the community that could form a circulation of economic, new factories such as grocery store serves foods and water, semiworks supplies correlation accessory. The tax of the community will be beyond anytime before now, and it should be partly made to develop public service facilities, perfect people's living environment and expand community services in order to make life easier for the people. As a consequence, it is affirmative that the new factory will bring profits to the community.
However, we should concede that despite the merits of new corporation mentioned above, it is undisputed that overextending of industry will be counterproductive, even detrimental. The harm it produces is, in my view, both palpable and profound. It has a debasing impact on health of the dwellers for the individual; and may be harm for the community environment for the society.
Form what I have discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that only a counterpoise between the new corporation and the community shapes will the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Time will tell and history will judge the wisdom of the project .

[ 本帖最后由 nrs1 于 2009-1-9 15:03 编辑 ]

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

Determining whether a large factory should be built near the community by a company could be weighed in many aspects(a company should weigh the advantages and disadvantages before making the decision that whether a large factory should be built near the community). People’s opinions are divergent on such a controversial issue. It is over-simplistic to take into account whether it is advantageous or not in this circumstance. In my point of view, both positive and negative effects about building factory near the community call for a balance(下面论证貌似是有侧重的) by ascertaining the benefits and indeed the detrimental aspects.留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA2n;wi].C9oFirst and foremost, at the risk of sounding too simplistic, the community and the residents can obtain various benefits from constructing a new factory(感觉有点中式英语的感觉，还是见识太短了，汗。benefite greatly by a new factory), and even more desirable impacts on economic development. There are three reasons for me to support the statement. For one thing, new manufactory will bring a great number of new positions to the community inhabitants, simultaneously it is the most appropriate and effective way to increase employment rate in the community. Secondly, new factory enhances（raises） the income level of the residents. One of the pressing problems facing our nation today is overcoming disparities in income levels. Development of the industry is a valid solution for augmenting incomes. Anyway, via a certain level of arduous efforts of the residents will the living standard both be developed and strengthened which ensures a better life for all of them. 寄托家园T"~/Q+l4hU‑FeFrom the personal perspective, another essential factor is the factory could become a leader stimulating the development of this area, even a core of a new industrial area. No one can deny the fact that a growing trend of similar factories will be built in the community that could form a circulation of economic, new factories such as grocery store serves foods and water, semiworks supplies correlation accessory. The tax of the community will be beyond anytime before now, and it should be partly made to develop public service facilities, perfect people's living environment and expand community services in order to make life easier for the people（建议去掉）. As a consequence, it is affirmative that the new factory will bring profits to the community.

However, we should concede that despite the merits of new corporation mentioned above, it is undisputed that overextending of industry will be counterproductive, even detrimental. The harm it produces is, in my view, both palpable and profound. It has a debasing impact on health of the dwellers for the individual; and may be harm for the community environment for the society（建议去掉）.
Form what I have discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that only a counterpoise between the new corporation and the community shapes will the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Time will tell and history will judge the wisdom of the project.

棉花糖文笔很好啊像desirable impacts on ,pressing problems facing……都觉得写得很好呢
不过要注意开头写的是优缺点平衡，论述和结尾却是优点大于缺点。

[ 本帖最后由 奔跑蜗牛 于 2009-1-13 22:32 编辑 ]