【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】1.18号

不会太久vivianUID：2592395

请猛拍砖·多谢·
题目：Do you prefer to finish a project completely then to another one or do two or several projects at a time?


·I think this is depends on the different situations. When a emergen case is approach to the deadline while you are working on another project,haveing no choice, you have to handle these at the same time.
   But for the normal time,in my opinion,finishing a project completely is a better choice. People like to listen to music while reading. But projects is different with music and books,which need high quality and accuracy. Concentrating on one project makes every details perfect. I'v tried to learn two foreign languages at a semester ,but none of them got a nice score in the final exam. Also overwork would get things mass.Team member have a clear classify of work, everybody is a professor in his area . Do several projects need more people than usual. People from other departments were moving to the team suddenly which also break the balance of the team.As for me ,doing one thing carefully always receive a good reward. On the contotary, the more work i want to handle ,the more mistakes i'll made.
   Doing two or several projects at a time is efficient, this seems fit the demand of the fast-food society better. Sometimes things do not happen as people planed. The more projects doing at the same time the more risk produce. But a poor quality and  awful project could harm the reputation of the company.
   Now a days ,things get faster and faster. But there are still some important things we need doing  step by step carefully . Concentration is the key factor of finishing a wonderful project,also ,to success.

roinyouUID：2447501

I think this is（is 不要） depends on the different situations. When a emergen case is approach to the deadline while you are working on another project,haveing no choice, you have to handle these at the same time.
   But for the normal time,in my opinion,finishing a project completely is a better choice. People like to listen to music while reading. But projects is different with music and books,which need high quality and accuracy. Concentrating on one project makes every details perfect. I'v tried to learn two foreign languages at a semester ,but none of them got a nice score in the final exam. Also overwork would get things mass.Team member have a clear classify of work, everybody is a professor in his area . Do several projects need more people than usual. People from other departments were moving to the team suddenly which also break the balance of the team.As for me ,doing one thing carefully always receive a good reward. On the contotary, the more work i want to handle ,the more mistakes i'll made.
   Doing two or several projects at a time is efficient,and this seems fit the demand of the fast-food society better. Sometimes things do not happen as people planed. The more projects doing at the same time the more risk produce. But a poor quality and  awful project could harm the reputation of the company.
   Now a days ,things get faster and faster. But there are still some important things we need doing  step by step carefully . Concentration is the key factor of finishing a wonderful project,also ,to success.

感觉第一段和第二段结合很紧，为什么要分开。结构最好是开头给出你观点，后面各段一个论证的形式。
还有哦，以后最好是自己先把拼写等错误先修改完，再提交给大家拍，呵呵：)
总体应该潜力还是蛮大的，祝你好运！！！

wangmj888UID：2591134

I think this is depends on the different situations. When a emergen case is approach to the deadline while you are working on another project,haveing no choice(so there is no choice), you have to handle these at the same time.
   But for the normal time(用Generally会好点),in my opinion,finishing a project completely is a better choice.(加some吧,不然有点意思不准确) People like to listen to music while reading. But projects is different with music and books, which need (it needs)high quality and accuracy. Concentrating on one project makes every details perfect. I'v tried to learn two foreign languages at a semester ,but none of them got a nice score in the final exam. Also overwork would (make things complex)get things mass.Team member(members) have a clear classify of work(have classified their work clearly好像更通顺点), everybody is a professor in his area . Do several projects need more people than usual. People from other departments were moving(直接用move吧) to the team suddenly which(改称that) also break the balance of the team.As for me ,doing one thing carefully always receive a good reward. On the contotary, the more work i want to handle ,the more mistakes i'll made.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE4k g9s g!e-T)^0i w
   Doing two or several projects at a time is efficient, this seems fit the demand of the fast-food society better. Sometimes things do not happen as people planed. The more projects doing at the same time the more risk produce. But a poor quality and  awful project could (will)harm the reputation of the company.
   Now a days ,things get faster and faster. But there are still some important things we need doing  step by step carefully . Concentration is the key factor of finishing a wonderful project,also ,to success.8T

ddcmj519UID：176326

I think this (is) depends on (the) different situations. When a emergen case is approach (to) the deadline while you are working on another project,haveing no choice, you [may] have to handle these at the same time.[with limited time, project quality demanded and your nevours heart, you face the choice, to finish one by one, or to do all at same time.个人觉得有一句点题会好些。]

(But) for (the) normal time,in my opinion,finishing a project completely (then another) is a better choice. People like to listen to music while reading. But projects is different [from] music and books,which need high quality and accuracy. Concentrating on one project makes every details perfect. [as for my own experiece衔接的自然些~]I'v tried to learn two foreign languages at a semester [时态有些问题。。],but none of them got a nice score in the final exam. Also, overwork would get things [a lot of没啥意义。。加字数。。]mass. {As for me ,doing one thing carefully always receive a good reward. On the contotary, the more work i want to handle ,the more mistakes i'll made.这样好区分团队/个人，思路变得清楚些~}

[以上是个人经历，这里变成团队了。。是不是有些突然？加个过度句，分段。]Team member[s] have a clear classify of work, everybody is a professor in his area . Do[ing] several projects need[s] more people than usual. People from other departments [are时态。。] moving to the team [all of a sudden加字数。。] which also break the balance of the team.[这里再总结团队的效果一下会好些~]

Doing two or several projects at a time [may be] efficient, this seems fit the demand of the fast-food society better. [but]Sometimes things do not happen as people planed. The more projects doing at the same time the more risk [it] produce[s].[at last the poorer quality and more awful projects will harm the futureof the company, the result of which may be the awful future of yourself.危言耸听~嘿嘿~]

[in summery, although] Nowadays [things不太合适？] get faster and faster[, we still need doing  step by step carefully with our heart for a better comtribution for the world. that is concentration, the key factor to finish a wonderful project,also ,to success.]

（）是不要的
[ ] 是我改动了的。。

貌似改的有点狠。。你的时态语态有时候很混乱。。注意了，还有单复数问题~
另外文章有些地方思路不清衔接不清。

总的来说总体结构还可以~多用连词会更好~
加油咯~

不会太久vivianUID：2592395

4# ddcmj519


～～～～～多谢多谢·

·还要多背背范文·结构很混乱的说·