【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】1.20byQuliette

nirvanahmjUID: 2534352

咱第一次写的说
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays eating meals with families regularly is not important any more. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It’s a common phenomenon that people spend less and less time eating meals with families, however, we couldn’t get the conclusion that there’s no importance of doing so. In fact, its importance has been increased instead of decreased, for its significant effect on promoting relationships between family members.

For the first place, eating meals with families regularly is one of the best ways of getting close to the beloved ones. We all know that talk over table is the best way of communication. Businessmen always have the habit of talking business on dinner parties, because people may be gentler on dinner time and thus easier to talk with. And that has been proved to be an efficient method by thousands of businessmen. And so does the communications between family members, for people are getting easier to talk to each other and express their emotion over table.

Secondly, in modern society, people are busy with all sorts of business such as making money, getting promotion, thus the connection between families is getting weaker. We all know that the scale of family nowadays is getting smaller, young couples often live away with their parents, and eating meals together is the most convenient way for them to communicate. Imagine a picture that parents, grandparents and children sitting together around a table, talking about their daily lives and laugh on petit jokes. What a wonderful family it is!

Last but not least important, it’s very important on the education of children. Eating meals with families regularly can help children create a stronger emotion connection with family members. We all can see that nowadays, there’re thousands of children who have no affection of their parents, and leave their parents live alone when they are old and pay no attention to their emotional needs. We all should have the awareness that to make the old live better is also making ourselves live better.

After all, although it’s true that people can hardly adjust their schedule to find time to eat with their family, it’s important to do so. Eating with families regularly is important and will be more important for modern people living in forest of skyscrapers.

lsr91UID: 2540702

It’s a common phenomenon that people spend less and less time eating meals with families, however, we couldn’t get the conclusion that there’s no importance of doing so. In fact, its importance(个人认为这里稍显突兀，可以改成the importance of people spending time with families) has been increased instead of decreased(你想说“它的重要性是增加了而不是减少了”是吗？), for its significant effect(这里个人认为可能要加s) on promoting relationships between(among是否更好？) family members. For the first place, eating meals with families regularly is one of the best ways of getting close to the beloved ones. We all know that talk over (the) table is the best way of communication. Businessmen always have the habit of talking business on dinner parties, because people may be gentler on dinner time and thus easier to talk with. And that has been proved to be an efficient method by thousands of businessmen. And(连续And不太好，可以把前一个And that 直接改成It可能会好一点) so does the communications between family members, for people are getting easier to talk to each other and express their emotion over table. Secondly, in modern society, people are busy with all sorts of business such as making money, getting promotion, thus the connection between families is getting weaker(fragiler更好点吧). We all know that the scale of family nowadays is getting smaller, young couples often live away with their parents, and eating meals together is the most convenient way for them to communicate. Imagine a picture that parents, grandparents and children sitting together around a table, talking about their daily lives and laugh on petit jokes. What a wonderful family it is! Last but not least important, it’s very important(这里连续出现是否妥当有待商榷，不过我不太会改) on the education of children. Eating meals with families regularly can help children create(build) a stronger emotion connection with family members. We all can see that nowadays, there’re thousands of children who have no affection of their parents, and leave their parents live alone when they are old and pay no attention to their emotional needs. We all should have the awareness that to make the old live better is also making ourselves live better. After all, although it’s true that people can hardly adjust their schedule to find time to eat with their family, it’s important to do so. Eating with families regularly is important and will be more important for modern people living in (the) forest of skyscrapers.
我是第一次改，有些意见不一定对，仅供参考

nirvanahmjUID: 2534352

谢谢拍砖！我也觉得我词用的很纠结！