【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】01.22号作业by holding

holdingUID：2285054

Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Jan 22

With the development of the social economy and living level, people require higher quality of life, instead of just getting away from starvation. With its irreplaceable influence, movie becomes a popular way to kill free time for people. Apparently, movies could be divided into two types, those serious ones would make the audience think, while others are designed to amuse and entertain. From my perspective, I prefer the later ones.

First of all, we already have enough things to think in our daily life. At school, we should think about our future carefully; at home, we should think how to be a good son or daughter to satisfy our parents' prospects; and as a responsible individual in the society, we are wondering what we could do to improve the development of our society and civilization. So it is possible for us to have a totally relax time to see a movie. In this case, movie is our protector against the trouble in the outside world, which could lead us to a short but important relax. When we see a movie, we could stop thinking the serious problems in our life, instead, all we should do is to have fun. Therefore, to this objection, we should choose amusing movies.

What is more, I treat movies just as a part of entertainment. Thinking is not all part of our life which should be colorful and full of love and happiness. Besides, we should spend some time with our families and friends. Watching movies could be a fantastic way to promote our relationship. In this case, movies are not educational tools but emotional catalyst between us and families or friends. Serious movies could not be a suitable choice to share with families and friends, which could make them feel nervous and lead the sphere to be too severe. If your option is entertaining movies, everyone could have a beautiful heart after hanging out with you.

Obviously, serious movies could have their own audience. However, for me, I prefer amusing movies to serious ones for the above reasons.

wangmj888UID：2591134

With the development of the social economy and living level, people require higher quality of life, instead of just getting away from starvation. With its irreplaceable influence, movie becomes a popular way to kill free time for people. Apparently, movies could be divided into two types, those serious ones would make the audience think, while others are designed to amuse and entertain. From my perspective, I prefer the later ones.



First of all, we already have enough things to think in our daily life. At school, we should think about our future carefully; at home, we should think how to be a good son or daughter to satisfy our parents' prospects; and as a responsible individual in the society, we are wondering what we could do to improve the development of our society and civilization. So it is possible for us to have a totally relax time to see a movie. In this case, movie is our protector against the trouble in the outside world, which could lead us to a short but important relax. When we see a movie, we could stop thinking the serious problems in our life, instead, all we should do is to have fun. Therefore, to this objection, we should choose amusing movies. (理由太牵强了,不是很恰当)

What is more, I treat movies just as a part of entertainment. Thinking is not all part of our life which should be colorful and full of love and happiness. Besides, we should spend some time with our families and friends. Watching movies could be a fantastic way to promote our relationship. In this case, movies are not educational tools but emotional catalyst between us and families or friends. Serious movies could not be a suitable choice to share with families and friends, which could make them feel nervous and lead the sphere to be too severe. (好像理由还是太牵强了,不是很恰当) If your option is entertaining movies, everyone could have a beautiful(用excited 好些) heart after hanging out with you.

Obviously, serious movies could have their own audience (audiences). However, for me, I prefer amusing movies to serious ones for the above reasons.
文章错误很少,但是论述的理由不是很好,很难说服观众.

ddcmj519UID：176326

With the development of the social economy and living standard, people require higher quality of life, instead of just getting away from starvation. With句式重复 its irreplaceable influence, movie becomes a popular way to kill free time for people. Apparently, movies could be divided into two types, those serious ones would make the audience think, while others are designed to amuse and entertain. From我好像记得是该用for，不确定 my perspective, I prefer the later ones.

First of all, we already have enough things to think in our daily life.这句应该扣题，amusing movies creates a paradise of no trouble. At school, we should think about our future carefully; at home, we should think how to be a good son or daughter to satisfy our parents' prospects; and as a responsible individual in the society, we are wondering what we could do to improve the development of our society and civilization(觉得to improve ourselves合适些~). So it is possible改成reasonable好些 for us to have a totally relax time to see a movie. In this case, movie is our protector against the trouble in the outside world, which could lead us to a short but important relax前半句言过其实啦~. When we see a movie, we could stop thinking the serious problems in our life, instead, all we have is fun. Therefore, to this objection, we should choose amusing movies.

What is more, I treat movies just as a part of entertainment. Thinking is not all part of our life which should be colorful and full of love and happiness. Besides, we should spend some time with our families and friends. Watching movies could be a fantastic way to promote our relationship. In this case, movies are not educational tools but emotional catalyst between us and families or friends. 前面并没有突出 amusing pictures 而是movies.. Serious movies could not be a suitable choice to share with families and friends, which could make them feel nervous and lead the atomsphere to be too删 severe. If your option is entertaining movies, everyone could have a beautiful heart??不解。。 after hanging out with you.

感觉理由和之前的是不是有点重复？可以改一下，主要写serious movies带来不好的影响，最后再总结对比一下amusing ones，如果想不出理由，这也不失为一个好的选择。

3 b& K  I/ z8 p

Obviously, serious movies could have their own audience. However, for me, I prefer amusing movies to serious ones for the above reasons.

结尾太仓促，希望多写点~毕竟开头结尾是考官很重视的地方~

holdingUID：2285054

3# ddcmj519

十分感谢修改
但是，哪里有picture的事啊……不解

ddcmj519UID：176326

4# holding

打错~~sorry.....
想着moving picture去了。。。

holdingUID：2285054

5# ddcmj519
呵呵 多谢修改