【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】01.22号作业 by 西山看云

shania_tanUID: 2219662

我是西山看云~麻烦狠拍！！！可以用word批注再直接传给我哈~


No matter how fast the pace of live can go, the movies will always be a wonderful entertainment to all. While some people prefer the serious movies for which may bring about high-level thinking, I believe the movies purely for amusement are better choice for the modern individuals.


First of all, I would like to enjoy an entertainment movie because it triggers laughter and relaxation. We face all kinds of stresses from the external world in our daily life, such as the problems in work or the complex interpersonal relationship. Due to the fact we may make too much high-level thinking on these serious topics in real life, the recreational factors of the amused movies might be a fantastic solution for escaping from the stress and fatigue. Thus, when I am tired, I prefer to see the movies which are designed to amuse and entertain.

Secondly, the movies designed to entertain will easily accepted by all the individuals compared
with the high-level thinking movies. Different people may hold diverse views to the same movie, and the judgments are based on their own moral standard, life experience or even religions. For example, the high leveling thinking movie, French Revolution, might be popular with some certain individuals interested in history and politics while some others showed their lack of interest to it. This kind of situation barely occurred in the entertainment movies, such as kongfu panda or superman. Thus, I prefer to choose the entertainment movies when I go to the cinema with friends as I would not like to take the risk of to boring any one of them.


In addition, the entertainment movies are the best choice for family gathering. As we all know, the pleasure and relaxation are the theme of family time, entertainment movie match it perfectly. All my family members usually get together in the living room in a Sunday afternoon, to enjoy a comedy. I can feel the love and happiness via the laughter and affecting which cannot be brought about by the high-level thinking movies.

In a word, I prefer the entertainment movies because they not only meet the need of relaxation for modern people in this rapid changing life, but also offer excellent opportunities to the familial enjoyment as well as they could amuse all kinds of individuals.

wangmj888UID: 2591134

No matter how fast the pace of live (goes)can go, the movies will always be a wonderful entertainment to all. While some people prefer the serious movies for(不要for) which may bring about high-level thinking, I believe the movies purely for amusement are better choice for the modern individuals.


First of all, I would like to enjoy an entertainment movie because it triggers laughter and relaxation. We face all kinds of stresses from the external world in our daily life, such as the problems in work or the complex interpersonal relationship. Due to the fact we may make too much high-level thinking on these serious topics in real life, the recreational factors of the amused movies might be a fantastic solution for escaping from the stress and fatigue. Thus, when I am tired, I prefer to see the movies which are designed to amuse and entertain.

Secondly, the movies designed to entertain will(be) easily accepted by all the individuals compared with the high-level thinking movies. Different people may hold diverse views to the same movie, and the judgments are based on their own moral standard(standards), life experience or even religions. For example, the high leveling thinking movie, French Revolution, might be popular with some certain individuals interested in history and politics while some others showed their lack of interest to it. This kind of situation barely occurred in the entertainment movies, such as kongfu panda or superman. Thus, I prefer to choose the entertainment movies when I go to the cinema with friends as I would not like to take the risk of to boring any one of them.

In addition, the entertainment movies are the best choice for family gathering. As we all know, the pleasure and relaxation are the theme of family time, entertainment movie match it perfectly. All my family members usually get together in the living room in a Sunday afternoon, to enjoy a comedy. I can feel the love and happiness via the laughter and affecting which cannot be brought about by the high-level thinking movies.

In a word, I prefer the entertainment movies because they not only meet(meet 能这样用吗,不确定) the need of relaxation for modern people in this rapid changing life, but also offer excellent opportunities to the familial enjoyment as well as they could amuse all kinds of individuals
整体不错,除了一些小错误,思路清晰,但是有些地方的论据不足以说服观众,不过写的挺好了,加油

roinyouUID: 2447501

从你的从文来看，西山，你的写作功底还是蛮好的，develop的比较详细，表达也比较流利。
最后一段你说pleasure and relaxation是主题，给家人带来了欢乐，这个还是Movie快乐放松的作用，可以理解你想要表达是和家人一起的味道，但是你表现的还是电影带来的和家人一起欢乐feel the love and happiness，在一起方面可以展开的更加详细一些。而这个结论如果没有时间展开建议在最后结论就不要重点突出了。 纯属个人想法，提供交流，谢谢！