Issue131【0906G ANap Hand 作文互改小组】第一次作业 by roinyou

roinyouUID: 2447501

Issue131 作业，多谢G友支持，不要客气，请狠拍！大家共同进步！

The arguer asserts that the arts are the expression of the hidden ideas and impulses of a society. Even though the arts are various, which includes architectures, paintings, music and literature, and so on, we can not check every kind of arts and each piece of arts satisfy this statement. Mostly, I
agree with this statement, my reasons are showed as following.

When we are at a glance of the history, we undergo much of change of the society, no matter what race or what country we are from. What is obvious fact that our art works comply with these changes. When we were in the primitive era, our ancensters hunt animal everyday, and this scene is showed in the fresco fresco which we can see in the cave. With development of our society and ideology, the kings unified the tribes and are esteemed as Gods. The paints which we can find are the ancient Eyiptian paintings and rituals, and what is the most substantial
evidence is the pyramid which presents the greatness of pharaohs. Not mentioned the phenomenon that in the Renaissance that art works incline to present the religion ideas and impulses, even in the modern society, we can take around the museums and find that most of the modern paintings reflect of the lives of the citizens, or the big events of the sensational affairs.

Nor from the timeline, we can also find the support from the forms of the art works. Beside the painting that have showed above, we track the artistic music, which varied so fast that we can find that the fasion can last not more than 5 years. Some of them are presents love, and some about encouragement, which are all the base element of the mordern lives.
It is also interesting to find that the style of western music is some kind of different from the oriental styles, and the Chinese music is very similar with the Japanese. The reason is obvious, what the art showed is the the ideas the society hide, and these two countries have the similar cultures and element of societies.

Also, some of us may hold that many of the artists create the works which contradict the society's common ideas. We can we some use the literatures to satirize the society, and music rebel the autonomy of the governments. But from the other aspects, they are all the reflections of the society and the ideas of the people, and what is more, they may impel the progress of the society as the uncourageous impulses.

saavedroUID: 2423190

来是这篇文章啊。   嗯  我正好手头有我一篇我当时写的习作。 顺便发上来吧。



ISSUE131 Arts reveal the hidden ideas and impulses from society
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諸葛－帝釋天    发表于2008年07月09日 20:45 阅读(157) 评论(0)
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题目：ISSUE131 - "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."
字数：652          用时：00:45:00          日期：2008/7/9 18:31:25


When it comes to the function of art, the speaker asserts that it can to some extent reveal the hidden ideas and impulses of one society at large with which I fundamentally agree for the reason that the primary and ultimate function of aesthetic art is the presence of hidden ideas and impulses or belief of our human culture or tradition in our society. However, I must supplement to consummate the speaker's point of contention in other respects.

To begin with, arts as a cultural medium for promoting and enhancing the cognition of cultural and some sorts of hidden ideas and impulses in contemporary era for general populace are an effective and positive way. Admittedly, traditional culture or modern culture including aspects of hidden ideas and impulses of society largely far outweigh other beliefs of societal impact. Yet, imprisonments of social thinking and belief which is considerably encompassing a wide variety of cultural aspects are all circumvented and limited by social hierarchy as leading regime class. When we consider this situation, it is reasonably for us to perceive the importance of arts and other relative cultural medium for its special identity and the intrinsic form to serve to transfer those hidden ideas and impulses of society in different era. For instance, Monet's famous painting named--The Sunrise, which is using large amount of blue as a major color to depict the sun. But even the eminent contemporary artists cannot understand his work initially. However, his work eventually accepted by populace after he death. Monet's work, to some extent, revealed some hidden ideas and mirrored some special societal phenomena which are usually perceived as a distinct identity of his living era. From what has been discussed, we can safely to draw the conclusion that hidden ideas and impulses of society can be portrayed by arts as a leading aesthetic means.

However, arts cannot completely serve as an instrument of probe for exploring and recording some kinds of ideology and social culture. While no one can deny the efficacious way and role of the arts, to understand deeply social identity and its visceral core of aspects such as those hidden ideas and impulses in some types of society requires comparable experience about the acknowledgement of this social history and its tendency or form of internal change, sometimes, also including external factor. For example, although historian are keen on certain typical way of researching history and its culture, increasing requirements are also deep experience and capability of mastering and having preferable grasp of every piece of historical change and its future possible tendency instead of through arts to complete or attain. Thus, if find some sorts of discoveries and achievements for history like relics, mysterious phenomenon, and so forth, it is more likely to attribute these attainments to orthodox research for history rather than the distorted art way, even in the disguise of aesthetics.

In addition, art has another function to express hidden ideas and impulses of some times of world, for its distinctive way and its inherent belief which is belonged by some preeminent artists or others. They all share common belief that it is justifable to use art as a more preferable way and medium for any cultural heredity from our ancient progenitor to our present world. Because some types of way, they believe, look no further than the primary means of art.

In sum, it is very likely that people will never be capable of arriving at the same conclusion on this controversial issue, due to their diverse background of experience and conflicting values. However, if the speaker contends the controversy about the importance of correlation between the primary even ultimate branch function of art and revealing the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses from society, I think it is more legitimate to reconsider what types of standards are necessary, and what kinds of method are suitable for our long-term insight and purpose in any given situation.

irvine666UID: 2575525

The arguer asserts that the arts are the expression of the hidden ideas and impulses of a society. (上下文不连贯这里应该是接着author的话讲而非让步,前文根本没有提到艺术的various, 这个让步怎么来的?)Even though the arts are various, which includes architectures, paintings, music and literature, and so on, we can not check every kind of arts and each piece of arts satisfy this statement.(这里读起来也不对,上下文衔接不上,最好能加点过渡的话来) Mostly, I agree with this statement, my reasons are showed as following.

When we are at a glance of the history, we undergo much of change of the society(这个句子想表达的意思不明确,读不通), no matter what race or what country we are from(没有 be from race的说法,以后写并列短语的时候一定要小心前后文). What is obvious fact that our art works comply with these changes. (这句话把定语obvious和宾补从句去掉就剩下 what is fact. 看看能读通不) When we were in the primitive era, our ancensters(ancestors) hunt(hunted) animal everyday, and this scene is showed in(on) the fresco fresco(repetition) which we can see in the cave. With development of our society and ideology, the kings unified the tribes and are esteemed as Gods. (king 一统天下这件事和ideology无关.如果是esteemed as god 改变了思想体系,那也应该在这句后面再提到,这里有个顺序问题,而非并列.)The paints(painting, paint是动词) which we can find are the ancient Eyiptian paintings and rituals(改成: the paintings which we discovered illustrate the ancient Eyiptian rituals and sacrificing), and what is the most substantial evidence is (宾语从句一定要带that!) the pyramid which presents the greatness of pharaohs. Not mentioned the phenomenon that in the Renaissance that(that 用的太多了,有的完全可以省略,比如这个换成一个逗号.) art works incline(时态,举例子的时候一定要注意,一直有影响的甚至要用完成时) to present the religion ideas and impulses(revolution或者development,impulse不能用present), even in the modern society, we can take around the museums and find that most of the modern paintings reflect(reflect做反映讲是vt) of the lives of the citizens, or the big events of the sensational affairs(envents 和 affairs放在一个of所有格里面重复了.而且big太口语化,tremendous推荐)

Nor from the timeline, we can also find the support from the forms of the art works. Beside the painting that have showed above, we track the artistic music, which varied so fast that we can find that the fasion(fashion?) can last not more than 5 years. Some of them are presents love, and some about encouragement, which are all the base element(s) of the mordern lives.
It is also interesting to find that the style of western(occidental才对应oriental, western对应easten) music is some kind of different from the oriental styles, and the Chinese music is very similar with the Japanese. The reason is obvious, what the art showed is the the ideas the society hide, and these two countries have the similar cultures and element(s) of societies.

Also, some of us may hold that many of the artists create the works which contradict the society's common ideas(common sense). We can we some use the literatures to satirize the society, and music rebel the autonomy of the governments. But from the other aspects, they are all the reflections of the society and the ideas of the people, and what is more, they may impel the progress of the society as the uncourageous impulses.

世态,从句,定冠词都需要学习,很多低级的错误. 另外在遣词造句当中,不能准确地表达作者的意思,上下文连贯性也欠佳,感觉思维跳跃很大. 第二个例子使用的很模糊,没有成为TS的强力支持.
此外作者的思维比较局限,比如艺术揭示了地域的相似性(从而揭示或者支持了人类的起源和发展.)没有展开来说,还有艺术升华了我们的思想境界也是一个非常好的论证点.