【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】01.25号作业by holding

holdingUID: 2285054

Should governments spend more money in sponsoring arts than athletics

The development of a country is greatly dependent on the decision of government. Obviously, arts and sports are two symbols of developing level of a country. After economic improvement, governments often spend money in sponsoring these two fields. For my perspective, governments should sponsor more in athletics and arts.

For one thing, sports play more important role in the development of a country, which could raise exercise passion and cohesion of our races. Maybe from our childhood, our parents used to say that a healthy body is the basic of everything, such as wealth and reputation. The stack of wealth becomes most parts of our life, so that most of us neglect the significance of doing exercises. Governments sponsoring more into athletics could lead them to have a good score in international competitions, which can raise people's sports enthusiasm. Moreover, we all have this kind of feeling, that is, when athletics get some excellent success in the competitions, we are all proud of them and our country. The successful athletics are not only a winner in the race, but also a hero of our society, who could be everyone's model to insist on their dreams.

What is more, comparing to arts, the development of sports costs more money. To be an excellent athletics, supporting by a large mount of fund is becoming more and more important elements with the development of related technology. For instance, in 2008 Beijing Olympic game, sharkskin swimsuit worn by famous American athletic Michael Phelps costs millions of dollars. Nowadays, the success of athletics is combined the hard working and intelligence of themselves and the sponsor of funds. Whereas, a good artwork could never be built up just by a accumulation of money, which requires more intelligence of the artists.

In addition, it is possible that much money could decline the development of arts. There are millions of examples that an intelligent artist crushed by the seduction of money and lost their way of arts. Throughout the history, most famous artists were suffering from pool physical life for their entire life. At the same time, most fantastic arts are coming from inspiration of pool life, which sometimes could be just a reaction of terrible life.

In conclusion, to benefit the improvement of both arts and sports, governments should pay more money in sponsoring athletics and related technology.

roinyouUID: 2447501

The development of a country is greatly dependent on the decision of government. Obviously, arts and sports are two symbols of developing level of a country. After economic improvement, governments often spend money in sponsoring these two fields. For my perspective, governments should sponsor more in athletics and arts.(应该是more than吧，这个主题句的关键词很关键的哟)

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For one thing, sports play more important role in the development of a country, which could raise exercise passion and cohesion(raise the cohesion的表达不对，注意and连接后的搭配哟) of our races. Maybe from our childhood, our parents used to say that a healthy body is the basic of everything, such as wealth and reputation. The stack of wealth becomes most parts of our life, so that most of us neglect the significance of doing exercises. Governments sponsoring more into（删除Into） athletics could lead them to have(动名词) a good score in international competitions, which can raise people's sports enthusiasm. Moreover, we all have this kind of feeling, that is, when athletics get some excellent success in the competitions, we are all proud of them and our country. The successful athletics are not only a winner in the race, but also a hero of our society, who could be everyone's model to insist on their dreams.

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What is more, comparing to arts, the development of sports costs more money. To be an excellent athletics, supporting by a large mount(amount) of fund is becoming more and more important elements with the development of related technology. For instance, in 2008 Beijing Olympic game, sharkskin swimsuit worn by famous American athletic Michael Phelps costs millions of dollars. Nowadays, the success of athletics is combined the hard working and intelligence of themselves and the sponsor of funds. Whereas, a good artwork could never be built up just by a accumulation of money, which requires more intelligence of the artists.(这一段的例子表现主题句development of sports costs more money不是很明显，Phelps穿过的战衣价格贵不能说明发展体育需要很多钱吧，主题句后说资金很重要，在Phelps的例子后面也是这么说的，重复了)

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In addition, it is possible that much money could decline the development of arts. There are millions of examples that an intelligent artist crushed by the seduction of money and lost their way of arts. Throughout the history, most famous artists were suffering from pool physical life for their entire life. At the same time, most fantastic arts are coming from inspiration of pool life, which sometimes could be just a reaction of terrible life.（是poor 不是pool）

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In conclusion, to benefit the improvement of both arts and sports, governments should pay more money in sponsoring athletics and related technology.