【TWE作文】1.25号作业 by 不会太久vivian

不会太久vivianUID: 2592395

1.25作业·  写了2h 严重超时仍未写满，灰常虚心接受批评，亲爱的tger，请拍吧。

Should governments spend more money in sponsoring on arts than athletics?


Some people argue as if it is a general truth that goverment spend more money in sponsoring on art than athletics. As far as I'm concerned,I cannont agree with them. There are following three reasons.

The main problem with this argument is that it is ignorant the basic fact that an abundan spirit based on
health body. Athletics ensure the well function of people's health which is the foundamation of daily life. More money could be used to expend the scale and amount of gym.Of couse,goverment could also build
sports park which contain various sports equipment. These policies could improve the level of physical of residents.Arts lead people to find the truelly beauty in life, however, a poor healthy people maybe go to hospital more than museum.

Another reason
I prefer athletics than arts is that I believe
sponsoring on athletics is more practical than atrs for the situation in our country.A lately reserch on Science magazing shows that 60% of people live in the city represent the statement of unhealthy life. Obviously,our people need sports to keep
healthy. Though the museum of art could enrich the spirit of mind,people are striving for existence. Comparing with study Picasso's painting ,people may willing to study the paper of work.

In a word,it's immature to sponsoring on atrs.Keeping a healthy is the foundamatin of enjoy life.
More over, sponsoring on athletics is more useful for people than atrs.Taking into account of these factors,we may reach the conclusion that goverments should spend more money in sponsoring on arts than athletics.

ningstoryUID: 2548108

作文我帮你改啦，由于回复中我不知道如何用彩色的，所以把改好的直接发上来了。
楼主作文思路比较清晰，段落也比较合理。但是我觉得字数有点少，并且语法错误和单词拼写错误有点多。
呵呵  仅仅我个人的看法，抛砖引玉，大家多多交流啊！
Some people argue as if it is a general truth that governments spend more money on sponsoring art than athletics. As far as concerned, I can not agree with them. The reasons are as follows. The main problem with this argument is that it is ignore the basic fact that an abundant spirit based on health body. Athletics ensure the well function of people's health which is the foundation of daily life. More money could be used to expend the scale and amount of gym. Of couse, government could also build Sports Park which contains various sports equipment. These policies could improve the health level of residents. Arts lead people to find the truly beauty in life, however, a poor healthy people maybe go to hospital more than museum. Another reason I prefer athletics than arts is that I believe sponsoring on athletics is more practical than arts for the situation in our country. A lately research on Science magazine shows that 60% of people live in the city represent the statement of unhealthy life. Obviously, our people need sports to keep healthy. Though the museum of art could enrich the spirit of our minds, people are striving for existence. Comparing with study Picasso's painting, people may willing to study the paper of work. In a word, it's immature to sponsoring on arts. Keeping a healthy is the foundation of enjoy life. More over, sponsoring on athletics is more useful for people than arts. Taking into account of these factors, we may reach the conclusion that governments should spend more money in sponsoring arts than athletics.

不会太久vivianUID: 2592395

:loveliness: ～～～多谢修改，

我的基础不好···  单词与语法是重点·而且·文章读下来·感觉很别扭·chinglish·0.0
真是辛苦你了···:L