【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】1月30号号作业 by 水晶小鱼

水晶小鱼UID: 2471655

题目：Do you agree or disagree? It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.

There is a fierce debate between students and professors in schools recently about whether it is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. A large sum of people agree that we should understand what we learn profoundly and that was the true essence of leaning process, but others argues that trying to understand everything in details is unnecessary, impossible and costing a lot of time.

It is the time that we explore this issue thoroughly and deeply. As far as I’m concerned, I fall into the latter group. We don’t need to explore every ideas and concepts we learn at classes. Sometimes we only need to learn how to use those, for example, axioms and abstract concepts. Few people can tell how to testify Pythagorean theorem in steps but nearly everyone who have attend middle school can use it solve an mathematic problem easily. And you don’t need to master the function of each components of your personal computer and understand how they work together, all you need to learn is the facts that how to manipulate it, that’s enough and practical. Understanding those theory and concepts may be more duplicated and useless than just using them.

Moreover, it is more effective for us by just memorizing some knowledge. We can learn more at the same time. A case in point can support my opinion. As a senior in college, I have no time to ask why about everything professors taught at class, first I should spend some time to remember all the facts and then try to figure out how to apply them in our daily life. Hence I can have a good score in exams and make full use of knowledge. Meanwhile, I have many interests. So I take economy as my second major. Just learning the content and no deep thinking of this major helps me save a lot of time and broaden my horizon at the same time. It is the most beneficial learning method for me.

Admittedly, learning the knowledge profoundly benefits us as well. That will help us to memorize knowledge for a long time. However, for most people who do not conduct a project as scientists. We have no energy to find the reasons for the entire world and sometimes you’ll get no answers like no one can prove why one plus one equals to two. Just leaning is more significant.


这个抽象的比较难写啊，感觉自己的开头和结尾段一点都不出彩啊。。。呜呜。。。:mad:
帮我出出主意吧。。。
辛苦了

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

建议楼主 把主体部分写成三段
支持的两点
admittedly 第三点
再加个小结尾

水晶小鱼UID: 2471655

2# 奔跑蜗牛 谢谢啊~

roinyouUID: 2447501

文章观点还是明确的说facts更为重要，不过作者认为fact是学习不用太深，concepts是学的要深入。他们的定义和理解是这样么，因为这个关键term很重要，关系到文章是不是偏题。对于第二段论证，你论证为没有必要每个知识点都学，和第二段有点重复，还有这段，你中心句论证记忆的方法有效和强调这样的学习方法好，不知道对于你论证facts重要有什么帮助。在语言和结构方面，作者还是做到结果清晰的，不过还是建议第一段提出你观点，语言表达基本还是顺畅的，基本没有太大的语法错误。
谈的不对的地方请给予指正，希望对彼此的作文学习和提高能提供帮助，祝你成功！！

There is a fierce debate between students and professors in schools recently about whether it is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. A large sum of people agree that we should understand what we learn profoundly and that//(是argue的that从句，还是指代应该学的深这个事情，如果是后者不要并列应该用,which的形式) was the true essence of leaning process, but others argues that trying to understand everything in details is unnecessary, impossible and costing a lot of time.

It is the time that we explore this issue thoroughly and deeply. As far as I’m concerned, I fall into the latter group. We don’t need to explore every ideas and concepts we learn at classes. Sometimes we only need to learn how to use those, for example, axioms and abstract concepts. Few people can tell how to testify Pythagorean theorem in steps but nearly everyone who have attend middle school can use it solve an mathematic problem easily. And you don’t need to master the function of each components of your personal computer and understand how they work together, all you need to learn is the facts that how to manipulate it, that’s enough and practical. Understanding those theory and concepts may be more duplicated/unnecessary? and useless than just using them//比较级？.
]- }& [
Moreover, it is more effective for us by just memorizing some knowledge. We can learn more at the same time. A case in point can support my opinion. As a senior in college, I have no time to ask why about everything professors taught at class//感觉不太通顺ask every concepts and reason that professor taught us., first I should spend some time to remember all the facts and then try to figure out how to apply them in our daily life. Hence I can have a good score in exams and make full use of knowledge. Meanwhile, I have many interests. So I take economy as my second major. Just learning the content and no deep thinking of this major helps me save a lot of time and broaden my horizon at the same time. It is the most beneficial learning method for me.

Admittedly, learning the knowledge profoundly benefits us as well. That will help us to memorize knowledge for a long time. However, for most people who do not conduct a project as scientists//语法问题. We have no energy to find the reasons for the entire world and sometimes you’ll get no answers like no one can prove why one plus one equals to two. Just leaning is more significant//?learning facts?.8 w1? ?I7

nirvanahmjUID: 2534352

There is a fierce debate between students and professors in schools recently about whether it is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. A large sum of people agree that we should understand what we learn profoundly and that was the true essence of leaning process, but others argues that trying to understand everything in details is unnecessary, impossible and costing a lot of time.
这个开头着实是没啥出彩的，而且从开头看不出作者的观点，不够直接。
It is the time that we explore this issue thoroughly and deeply. As far as I’m concerned, I fall into the latter group. We don’t need to explore every ideas and concepts we learn at classes. Sometimes we only need to learn how to use those, for example, axioms and abstract concepts. Few people can tell how to testify Pythagorean theorem in steps but nearly everyone who have attend middle school can use it solve [solving] an mathematic problem easily. And you don’t need to master the function of each components of your personal computer and understand how they work together, all you need to learn is the facts that how to manipulate it, that’s enough and practical. Understanding those theory and concepts may be more duplicated and useless than just using them.- {1 b/ e! Q: Y( j; u( C5 g
这段的内容比较充实，例子用的也不错，但是作者把题目中的观点作了转换，个人认为还是直接用题目里的观点比较好。另外就是最后一句的more duplicated and useless than，意思就成了just using them也是duplicated and useless的只不过不如understanding concepts那么严重而已，不是很好。
Moreover, it is more effective for us by just memorizing some knowledge. We can learn more at the same time. A case in point can support my opinion. As a senior in college, I have no time to ask why about everything professors taught at class, first I should spend some time to remember all the facts and then try to figure out how to apply them in our daily life. Hence I can have a good score in exams and make full use of knowledge. Meanwhile, I have many interests. So I take economy as my second major. Just learning the content and no deep thinking of this major helps me save a lot of time and broaden my horizon at the same time. It is the most beneficial learning method for me.
这段的用词比较不错，用自己的例子用的也很好，当然用自己的例子也存在局限性就是你的情况不一定适用于所有人。也许换成most college students today更有说服力？
Admittedly, learning the knowledge profoundly benefits us as well. That will help us to memorize knowledge for a long time. However, for most people who do not conduct a project as scientists. [,]We [they] have no energy to find the reasons for the entire world and sometimes you’ll [前后人称不一致，不过不清楚怎么改好]get no answers like no one can prove why one plus one equals to two. Just leaning is more significant.
这段从结构上看主题句是说深入学习对我们也有好处，但是对这个基本还没有什么说明就开始转折了，从结构上看不是很合适。1+1的例子着实不错！
个人觉得再加个结尾更好跟完整。另外还是那个观点的问题，这样直接按照自己的理解代换题目里的观点总有点跑题的嫌疑。土人烂评，仅供参考。