作文互改小组-第五次作业-BY TAMMYPP

tammyppUID: 2547015

  In the lecture, the professor cast doubt on the passage by saying if the companies give their employees the option to work four days a week, there will be many disadvantages instead of the benefits mentioned in the passage. Here are the three reasons.
  First, the professor said the new option may force the companies to spend more, or a lot more to hire extra people to do the job. They need to train the new employees, find more space for them and buy more computers. All these will cost the companies a lot of expenses and directly cut into the profit. Therefore the profit of the companies will not increase as predicted in the passage.
  Second, according to the passage, the new option will help to reduce the unemployed rate by increasing jobs. While the professor said the companies have other choices. They will raise the expectation and require the employees to work overtime to do the same amount of five days work within four days. So there would be no addition jobs, and to the even worse thing, the current job could be less pleasant.
  Finally, the passage told us the employees who take the new option will lead a happy life with extra time to accompany the family. The professor cast doubt on it. He thought the employees may face the risks to reduce the quality of life. Four days work reduces their development of job abilities, which is not good for them to advance career. They will be the first ones to lose their jobs when the economy comes to a hard time. In addition, they are less hopeful to be promoted, since the companies will choose those who work five days a week to have a better control over the work.

roinyouUID: 2447501

写得不错，如果临场能发挥出这样的水平，应该分数不低。
不过建议可以再熟练和总结一下框架，基本都是说cast doubts on ..,  the passage said.... but the professor ... 可以换一些表达，使得语言的variety能出彩一些。

bjzhengjaUID: 2381883

写得不错，如果临场能发挥出这样的水平，应该分数不低。
不过建议可以再熟练和总结一下框架，基本都是说cast doubts on ..,  the passage said.... but the professor ... 可以换一些表达，使得语言的variety能出彩 ...
roinyou 发表于 2009-2-1 23:12

呃。。。？既然组长给评了还用我这菜鸟评吗？

bjzhengjaUID: 2381883

Second, according to the passage, the new option will help to reduce the unemployed rate by increasing jobs. While the professor said the companies have other choices. 这句话不完整唉~只是从句，没有主句。They will raise the expectation and require the employees to work overtime to do the same amount of five days work within four days. So there would be no addition jobs, and to the even worse thing, the current job could be less pleasant.

你写得确实特好唉~崇拜下儿~我觉得该听到的点都写出来了，而且也很明确有比较~
我还有12天就上战场了，多帮帮我吧~~~谢谢啦！呵呵