【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 angelool 第三次作业】

angeloolUID: 166036

should the government focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development?

Somebody believes that the government should focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development. I don't agree with this thesis, because developing economy is more important than protecting nature environment most of the time.

Born in the developing country, I feel that economic development is the main task of a government. Without enough food, people will suffer hunger; without enough clothes, people will suffer coldness at night; without enough financial support to education career, children from the poor family will not be able to go to school. The supply of food, clothes and financial support is all depend on the development of economy.

Even in the developed area, economic development is also the central topic of the nation. These days, the economic crisis has swept all around the world. The workers lost their jobs because of the bad situation of their company. The schools cut the number of their programs because of the reduction of national investment. The people lose their houses because they can't afford to pay the loan. The main reason of this depression is the government is loose on the management of the economic development.

It's true that preserving nature resources and protecting the environment are also very important. The bad conditions of nature environment will not only affect the health of the resident living there but also have a negative impact on bringing more investment outside. But, what's more important should be speeding up the economic development there. If only the government has done this, it will have more money and energy to preserve the natural conditions. We have never seen a place, where the economics is highly developed, has a very bad natural environment.

Above all, my viewpoint is, for the government, preserving natural environment is very important. While, the urgent task of the government should be paying more attention to the economic development.

liurui8802UID: 2595045

Somebody believes [some people believe] that government should focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development. I don't agree with this [thesis,这不算理论 ]because developing economy is more important than protecting nature environment [for] most of the time.) Born in[ a (the) ]developing country, I feel that economic development is the main task of a government. Without enough food, people will suffer hunger; without enough clothes, people will [shudder  in  cold  wind(不用suffer，否则和前面重复）] at night; without enough financial support to education (career)删掉, children from （the ）删掉poor family will not be able to go to school. The supply of food, clothes and financial support  [(is)删掉] all depend on the development of economy.Even in the developed area, [economic development（economic prosperity）] is also the central [（topic） theme ]of [those nations]. These days, the economic crisis has swept all around the world. (The)删掉 workers lost their jobs because of the bad situation of their companies. The删掉 schools cut off the number of their programs [（because of）due to]  the reduction of[ national investment(这成了国家投资，是世界投资范围的术语，应改为 funds from guvernment ]The people lose[ lost时态和前面保持一致] their houses because they can't分开写 afford to pay the loan. The main reason of this depression is the government is loose on the management of the economic development.[(the main reason lies in the absence of government's discipline over finance.好像都是说政府对金融监管不利吧，这样表达是不是更好)  ]
It's true that preserving nature resources and protecting the environment are also very important. The (bad conditions) environmental degradationwill not only affect the health of the residents living there but also have a negative impact on bringing more investment outside[你的意思是吸引外国投资吗？Rewrite:But also will have a negative impact on the cooperation with foreign companies exploiting nature resources.. ]But, what's more important should be speeding up the economic development there.[ Rewrite:However, developing economy should always be a priory . If only多用于表达虚拟愿望。] the government has done this, it will have more money and energy to preserve the natural conditions. We have never seen a place, where the economics is highly developed, has a very bad natural environment.
Above all, my viewpoint is, for the government, preserving natural environment is very important. [While不能单独做短语], the urgent task of the government should be paying more attention to the economic development。

angeloolUID: 166036

the main reason lies in the absence of government's discipline over finance.
改得很好！
谢谢liurui8802 ，改的非常认真，受益匪浅。:)

０００UID: 2601060

Somebody believes that the government should focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development. I don't agree with this thesis, because developing economy is more important than protecting nature environment（感觉少点什么不确定） most of the time.

Born in the developing country, I feel that economic development is the main task of a government. Without enough food, people will suffer hunger; without enough clothes, people will suffer coldness at night; without enough financial support to education career, children from the poor family will not be able to go to school. The supply of food, clothes and financial support is all depend on the development of economy.（好排比！！！）

Even in the developed area？？, economic development is also the central topic of the nation. These days, the economic crisis has swept all around the world. The workers lost their jobs because of the bad situation of their company. The schools cut the number of their programs because of the reduction of national investment. The people lose their houses because they can't afford to pay the loan. The main reason of this depression is the government is loose on the management of the economic development. （还是好排比！！）

It's true that preserving nature resources and protecting the environment are also very important. The bad conditions of nature environment will not only affect the health of the resident living there， but also have a negative impact on bringing more investment outside. （and， but 不用句首）But, what's more important should be speeding up the economic development there. If only the government has done this, it will have more money and energy to preserve the natural conditions. We have never seen a place, where the economics is highly developed, has a very bad natural environment.加个例子就生动了

Above all, my viewpoint is, for the government, preserving natural environment is very important. While, the urgent task of the government should be paying more attention to the economic development.)

总结 有保留的赞成开发经济 主体段1 发展中国家经济作用2发达国家经济作用 例子很好 细节不错 2个排比句值得我学习 3 环境保护作用 主要为逻辑推理 没有很具体例子
很好的一篇文章 一口气可以很舒服的读下来

０００UID: 2601060

ｌｓｓ改的很好～受益匪浅～